The Way I Am

18. The One With the Friendship Goals

Mara observed the reactions of the rest of the students, when Brian asked if they were going to remain friends on Monday as they made it back to school over the long weekend. The response of the princess was not what Brian expected. Allison let Claire know that it was not the right thing to say.

As they continued with their conversations, Mara thought about what was going to happen after the detention between John and her. Were they going to work? Will he accept her in his group? Will he reject her in front of his friends?

A lot of questions ran through her head, but she didn't want to think about the negative stuff. Still interlocking her hand with his, she listened to everything the rest of the group had to say.

Mara's thoughts were interrupted by John's outburst towards Claire, "You are a bitch!"

"Why, because I am telling the truth, that makes me a bitch?" Claire snapped.

"No, because you know how shitty that is to do to someone! And you don't got the balls to stand up to your friends and tell 'em that you're gonna like who you wanna like!" Bender replied with anger in his voice.

"Okay, what about you, you hypocrite! Why don't you take Allison to one of your heavy metal vomit parties? Or take Brian out to the parking lot at lunch to get high? What about Mara? What will they think when they see you holding hands like you are now? They will think you are weak or only sleeping with her. What about Andy for that matter, what about me? What would your friends say if we were walking down the hall together? They'd laugh their asses off and you'd probably tell them you were doing it with me so they'd forgive you for being seen with me," the Prom Queen expressed, making Bender stare at her in disbelieve.

Mara felt a little sick to her stomach, because deep down she knew that Claire was right. Bender and his friends were known to be a unique group, and knowing John, Mara didn't know where she was going to stand along with the rest of the detention children.

She locked herself in thought, not wanting to hear any more of what they had to say, specially John Bender. She removed her hand from his and stood up to recline against a wall. She closed her eyes and hugged herself, thinking about all the possibilities of them not being friends after that Saturday.

After a while, Mara decided to pay attention at the conversation once again, since Andrews question made her raise an eyebrow in confusion.

"Why did you have a gun in your locker? Andy asked, looking at Brian whose face was one of despair.

"I tried. You pull the fuckin' trunk on it and the light's s'posed to go on...and it didn't go on, I mean, I..." Brian stated.

"What are you saying?" Mara questioned, getting closer to Brian.

"What's the gun for, Brian?" Andy asked. Brian shook his head and replied, "Just forget it."

"You brought it up, man," the wrestler insisted. Mara kneed down next to Brian and placed her hand in his back. "Brian?" she asked.

Looking at Mara, Brian confessed, "I can't have an F, I can't have it and I know my parents can't have it! Even if I aced the rest of the semester, I'm still only a B. And everything's ruined for me!"

"Brian.." Mara whispered followed by Claire's calling. She tried to give him the support he needed at that precise moment. She understood what it was like to try and do something stupid like commit suicide. She had been in that position many years ago, but thankfully she knew it was wrong in the first place.

"Killing yourself is not an option," Claire said, making Brian look at her.

"Well, I didn't do it, did I?" he snapped

"Brian... killing yourself... it is not worth it. You are more valuable than you think," Mara said, trying to comfort him.

"Was it a handgun?" Allison asked.

"No, it was a flare gun. It went off in my locker," he responded.

"Really?" Andy asked, smirking. Brian laughed at the craziness of him trying to kill himself with a flare gun.

Everyone laughed.

"I will be your friend. I don't care what people think," Mara whispered Brian, hugging him.

"I will be there for you... all of you," she stated to the whole group. Mara looked at John who at first seemed a bit off, but then he smiled at her. At that moment, she had a strong feeling that everything between them was going to be alright.