Yu
After finishing 2nd year at home, my parents decided to let me out again. Good thing, right when I handed the letter through mail, the university or the organization offered a help. I don't need to withdraw or file a form to drop my subjects. Hindi ko na kailangan pang magrepeat ng isa pang taon.
"Sio! We missed you!"
Mainit na sinalubong ako ng yakap ng class mayor. She crashed her body against mine, I even felt her soft luscious boobs. Natatawang ginantinhan ko siya ng yakap at napailing nalang sa naisip ko.
Kapapasok palang, kalibugan na ang nasa utak. Kaya siguro ako hinihithit ng hika.
"How have you been?!"
"I'm good..."
Maaliwalas ang mukha niyang hinila ako sa tabi niya. "Come here, sit beside me. I'll guide you. Grabe, two sems na missing in action ka."
"Oo nga, eh."
"The head and other professors understood what you're going through."
She craned her neck to look at me with curious eyes, "Aren't you happy? You're back again."
"I am happy."
She shrugged, "Well, good for you."
The class abruptly started. Parang bumalik ang sigla sa puso ko. I can finally talk to Hyacinth freely.
Hindi kami madalas nagkakausap through chat. Maybe she's just busy or I am too meek to start a conversation. Hindi pa nga nagsisimula ang usap namin, dead end na agad. Kaya madalas, ang laman lang ng convo namin ay 'yung notes and reviewers.
But somehow, sometimes I find myself scrolling to those messages, smiling like an idiot.
Kikilingin na nga lang, academically pa.
"Uhm," I approached her one time. Nag-aayos niya ng gamit at hinihintay na ng mga kaibigan niya sa labas.
"Uy, Sio, bakit?"
"I heard you need someone to help you."
Nanlalaki ang mata niya at sunod sunod na umiling. Isinukbit niya sa balikat ang bag at humarap sa akin. "Naku, hindi ka pwede!"
"Huh? Why?"
"Ano ka ba, Sio. Baka atakehin ka!" tinapik niya ako sa balikat na ngumiti, "Don't worry about it, okay?"
Sinundan ng mata ko ang pagkawala niya sa paningin ko.
I sighed.
The people around me keep on treating me like I am weak, like I am not supposed to be here.
Except for Yu.
"Catch!"
Napakurap ako nang may mahinang tumama sa dibdib ko.
"What's this?" I asked and picked the tissue. Pag-angat ko ng tingin ay nakita ko ang tingin sa akin ni Yu.
"Linisin mo 'yung board."
Lumingon ako at nakita ang mga numerong nakasulat d'on, sakop buong board. Wala na akong magagawa. I offered Hyacinth help, pero tinaggihan ako kasi baka ihitin na naman ako ng sakit ko.
Hindi na ako kumibo.
I just pinched my nose and wiped the board.
"Dito pa," turo niya sa gilid ko.
"Hoy, ano 'yan?! Bakit si Sio ang nagbubura? Maalikabok!" hiyaw ng pamilyar na boses sa loob ng room.
"Baby mo, Hya?"
"Are you serious, Yu?"
"Did I stutter?" pang-uuyam na balik tanong nito sa babaeng isinangga ang katawan sa harap ko.
My breath suddenly hitched in my throat when her back bumped my chest.
"Ewan ko sa'yo. Tara nga, Sio. Let's go buy some snacks." she held my hand and drag me with her.
"Pasensya ka na r'on, ha? Masanay ka na kay Yu, laging pasaway."
I smiled to myself.
She cared so much for me.
And my heart bloomed because of that.
For the next few weeks, I almost cried out of joy when my attacks rarely came. Halos hindi na nga ako inaatake ng hika. Maybe it's because of the maintenance of my meds or... my heart got used to the feeling.
Of being in love.
"Mom," umupo ako sa upuan sa tapat niya.
"Yes?"
Dumakot ako ng carrots na hinihiwa niyang para sa hapunan namin at kinain.
"This isn't just asthma, right?"
"H-Huh?"
I grabbed the whole plate of carrots and ate it infront of her. She looked flushed. Namumutla siya at mukhang nabigla sa tanong ko.
"What are you hiding from me?" I asked nonchalantly.
Gusto ko lang malaman ang katotohanan. I don't wanna be kept in the dark anymore. This isn't just a mere asthma. Hindi ko alam. Hindi ako sigurado.
But this is my heart.
My heart is mine.
I have the right to know what's the real problem. Dahil ramdam kong may mali.
She laughed it off, like she always does.
Pilit na ngumiti ako at tumayo na. Their lips are sealed and I am getting frustrated.
May tinatago sila sa akin!
Isinara ko ang pintuan ng silid ko at pasakdol na humiga sa kama. I need to see the results of my medical tests. I need to know the truth.
Pinakiramdaman ko ang tibok ng dibdib ko. It was agonizingly slower than usual.
This isn't normal.
"Good morning," salubong na bati ko kay Hyacinth nang magkasabay kaming pumasok. My morning got lighter because of her. Hanggang ngayon, iba pa rin talaga ang epekto niya sa akin.
I think, that's just how it works.
Hearts will waver, but feelings won't ever change.
"You looked paler today, Sio."
Naudlot ang pagtakas ng ngiti ko nang punahin niya 'yon. "You should rest. Ako nang bahalang kumausap sa prof natin. Minor subject lang naman."
"No, it's fine." I said when she gripped my hand to stop me from entering the room, "I am fine," ulit ko pa.
Natutok ang tingin niya sa akin. Ilang saglit pa ay tumango na siya at binitiwan ako. "Sige, sabi mo, eh. Basta, kapag ikaw nahuli kitang nahihirapan nang huminga—"
Pumalatak ako.
"I am not a kid, Hya. I can handle myself."
Tumalikod na ako at napahinto sa hamba ng pintuan. My brows furrowed in confusion. Sa gilid ko ay nilagpasan ako ni Hyacinth at nagtungo na sa kinauupuan. I heard her greeted Yu.
I took a step and closed the distance between us.
"Yu," seryosong tawag ko.
Prenteng sumandal siya sa upuan at ipinatong ang kamay sa sandalan ni Hyacinth.
Umangat lang ang kilay nito sa akin.
"Uhh, Sio..." Hyacinth interrupted.
Tumikhim ako, nanatili ang tingin kay Yu na tila nanghahamon sa kanyang tingin.
"I think that's my seat," puna ko.
Ngumisi siya at pumahalumbabang tinapunan ako ng kindat, "Not anymore..."
I felt something inside my guts moved.
It was different, and something much more... dangerous.
