fragile ; oikawa tooru

⎯ 04 ⎯

i just told myself that i need to keep an eye on him...

"...hey," i said softly, mostly because of my hoarse voice, from behind him on the other side of the gates. there was no response.

"hey, oikawa," i said again, tapping his shoulder gently.

"hm?" he turned around, confusion brought to his features.

"are you okay?" i asked.

his face softened once recognizing me. "yeah."

"what are you doing? are you waiting for someone?"

i watched as oikawa blinked at me before looking back at the ground with a crooked smile.

"no... i'm... i'd usually have volleyball right now, i guess it just feels a little weird going home,"

will they not let him watch? though, to be honest, i'm not really surprised...'

"so, what you gonna do?" i leaned onto the stone wall separating us, folding my arms. "you're just gonna sit here?"

"well, what else do you suggest?" he smiled lightly although his eyes betrayed his emotions.

i pondered a response for a few moments. to tell the truth, my 'oikawa tolerance meter' was pretty low, having spent lunch with him today. it felt like i needed to recharge.

"why don't you do some studying? or hangout with some friends?"

he looked at me with a dead-pan face.

"wait... iwaizumi-san is your only friend?"

expression returned to him as he drew back in shock, his eyebrows furrowed. "that's not true! i also have matsukawa and hanamaki..."

"who are also in volleyball right now."

"...yeah."

"go home, oikawa," i sighed with a smile, earning one of his own. the mood seemed to have lightened.

i chose not to tell him that i would offer to do something with him because i would only do so to be polite, though, selfishly i decided against it because of how exhausted i felt. also, i'm pretty sure that would give him a big advantage in the future and fuel his idea that i was his friend even further.

"just text me if you end up zoning out with nothing to do..." i mustered a semi-polite solution, fully aware that i'd regret saying it later.

"but you just leave me on read..." he pouted.

"send me something worth replying to then!"

"that's mean..."

"..."

"okay! okay!" he brightened at my blank expression. "... thanks, chi-chan," he smiled.

there wasn't a hint of remorse on his face after using my nickname for the umpteenth time, despite my frustration with it.

"hey, i think i'm the superior one here,"

"but we're friends!" he beamed.

"sure, just get home you moron," i said, turning away from him to walk home.

wait, did i just accept him as a friend..?'

i scoffed, pulling my bag further up my shoulder.

even though it seemed as if i cheered him up a little, i did feel bad about not doing something to distract him. maybe next time...

it took me a few seconds to realise that oikawa was walking right beside me, gazing ahead.

"oikawa?" i asked.

"yeah?" he turned back to look at me.

"where are you going...?"

"home."

"you live this way?"

"yeah!"

"oh."

maybe i'm more of an idiot than i thought.'

15.04.20

✎﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏