It has always been him - KageHina

3

Kageyama caught his breath as he glanced up, they entered a park. A small field and a playground, the clouds from the early evening had cleared away. The stars shone brightly above them, a chilly breeze roaming around the park.

He remembered this park, they'd always pass through it while walking home together. Kageyama couldn't count the times they had practiced here after being kicked out of the gym, under the stars the park lit up by the street lights.

Hinata noticed the swings and reached for Kageyama's wrist. But what he found wasn't his wrist, but his hand instead. Hinata cringed at his mistake, but let out a tired sigh. He was tired of pushing his feelings away, Hinata knew that you don't get to choose if you get hurt in this world but you do have some say in who hurts you. And finally Hinata decided it'd be a privilege to have his heart broken by Kageyama, even if he was scared. He'd take the risk for once. Because he thinks Kageyama is worth fighting for. Even if he was a selfish king, Hinata wanted to be his queen. Hinata looked up from their hands when Kageyama gave them a squeeze and he looked up at the raven's face. It wasn't stern or scary like it always had been, he had smiled, a real smile. A meaningful one, as Kageyama squeezed his hand around Hinata's and pulled him with him. Hinata let out a laugh, and that was Kageyama's sign to stop worrying as he let out a snort himself. Finally reaching the old set of swings Kageyama released Hinata's warm hand and plopped down on one of them.

Hinata followed swiftly, plopping down on the swing next to the love of his life. Ever since high school Hinata had thought that the thing that would make him the happiest would be beating Kageyama. And once he did, he was disappointed. After all this time, being confused by his feelings, he noticed that he wanted to stand on the same court as Kageyama. But the mistake he made was to think he wanted to beat Kageyama on the other side of the net. All this time that thought had been blocking his heart. He now realised that he wanted to stand beside Kageyama, on the same side of the court and not anywhere else. He had gotten stronger, Hinata can fight on his own now. But he had the most fun fighting along side of Kageyama, not against him. And now that they're both strong, all they can be is stronger together.

Hinata wondered if Kageyama felt the same.

He started to slowly rock the swings, a squeak from the chains could be heard in the silence between the boys. Cars in the distance, and some dogs barking around the neighbourhood.

"So,'' Hinata suddenly broke the ice, "why are you so stubborn and grumpy all the time?'' Kageyama's eyes snapped up at Hinata, sniffing his nose. The cold breeze had gotten colder, and his jacket was pretty thin to start with.

"Because it's me.'' Kageyama said monotonously, looking at the muddy ground again.

"That's bullshit and you know it,'' Hinata spoke loudly, his words sounding harsh, "that doesn't define you.'' His voice sounded softer when he said that.

"How so?'' Kageyama's voice was coarse, he had to clear his throat after he had asked.

"Because there's so much more that makes you, you.'' Hinata didn't say any more, he was thinking, or so Kageyama thought. Nobody had ever said something like this to him, nobody had ever cared to ask, let alone cared about him in general.

"How would you know?'' He felt frustrated again, as another glare formed on his face. He kicked some loose sand with his sneaker, it flew a meter through the air landing on the grass. "You don't even know the real me.''

"Exactly.''

"Huh?'' This took Kageyama attention.

"I barely know the real you. Everyone can be stubborn and grumpy for no reason, I don't know that you yet. So that's how I know it doesn't define you." Hinata spoke with power, his voice a little shaky, but he held his ground. His hands forming fists around the chains, clenching them like it was his lifeline.

"What?'' Kageyama didn't understand what Hinata was saying.

"Anyway, don't change the subject. You don't have to tell me if you really don't want to though...'' Hinata's fists unclenched and he softly looked up at Kageyama, a sad smile playing on his lips. But he smiled nonetheless.

"I...,'' Kageyama didn't know what to say, he knew Hinata was right. "Maybe I should though,'' he sighed deeply, "I've just, I've had a really rough past. I know there are people who have way worse, or have had. But still, it still bothers me. You know about, well, the team leaving me thing.'' Kageyama inhaled a shaky breath, his hands tightening around the chains.

"It's okay, take your time,'' Kageyama looked up as Hinata's fake smile had turned into a soothing one, it reached his eyes. Kageyama gave a small appreciative smile, but it was more a twitch of his lips. He leaned his head backwards, letting his eyes travel through the stars. The sky reminded Kageyama of Hinata's eyes, when he was excited they'd always twinkle like that and that made him smile a little. Kageyama sighed, as he sat up straight again, "All my life people have lead me to believe that volleyball is a teams sport and I never believed them. Nobody was ever good enough, not fast enough until," Kageyama stopped speaking his heart beat erratical.

"Until?'' Hinata's voice was tender, "Until I met you." Kageyama said with a sigh.

"Me?'' Hinata trailed off.

"Look, I'm not good with words, out of my own experience. I'm not good with words when it comes to comforting people or talking about my own feelings. So, I guess I let my silence and my expressions speak for me. Unspoken words go further than spoken ones.'' Kageyama explained and Hinata hummed in understanding. "But nobody ever took the time to get to know my expressions and all I ever was is a scary guy with anger issues." Kageyama continued.

"Mhm, that's not true though." Hinata said as he jumped of the swing, Kageyama followed. Hinata took his bag and pulled out a volleyball looking up at Kageyama with a bright smile.

"Sure, you're scary some times but you've grown a lot with your personality you know? You're not alone Tobio, know that." Hinata said softly as they made eye contact. Kageyama flinched at the usage of his given name, this felt too personal. He stared deeper into those golden eyes. He wanted to hug that little dumbass. He opened his mouth to say something but nothing came out. The silence was deafening, some cars and owls filling in the empty space.

A soft thud was heard as Kageyama noticed that Hinata had thrown the volleyball in his direction and he caught it automatically.

"It's okay,'' His voice was soothing again, "I'll be there every step of the way. If you want me to. It doesn't need to be like this, if you want me to guide you? I will. I want to. You're not a selfish king Kageyama, you're a lonely one with nobody that understands you. And like I said in high school, I'll be by your side, I'll be there to spike your tosses, no matter where or when. I'll be there." Hinata said determined. He meant every word he had spoken with such confidence.

Kageyama had still lost his voice, but that didn't stop Hinata and he appreciated that greatly.

"I'm here, Tobio." Suddenly the small orange haired boy was right in front of him, eyes burning into his. Tobio clenched his fingers around the ball, the texture familiar and comforting. He swallowed a lump in his throat staring down into those brown piercing eyes.

"I won't leave your side again. I promised, didn't I?" Hinata spoke again but this time he was staring down at Kageyama's shoes. He was so close, at a hands reach. The words took a while to register into his dumb brain and Kageyama felt tears well up in his eyes. These words, spoke by this boy, it was all too much. If he was going to let Hinata go again, he wouldn't forgive himself.

Kageyama carefully reached out his hand and laid it on top of the fluffy orange curls. All these years Kageyama had wondered how it would feel like, the texture under his finger tips. It was everything he had ever dreamed of. God they were such idiots.

Hinata jumped slightly and looked up at Kageyama with those big beautiful orbs of his, they twinkled as the stars above them. He was the sun, he brought light into Kageyamas life, he brought warmth and happiness.

"God, I love you so much Shouyou." Before Kageyama notices the words had already left his mouth.