Her // Joe Goldberg (COMPLETED)

24

You showed Cody and I to your favourite table at Devilles, called Honey over, ordered Cody a hot chocolate and a blueberry muffin and me a jet black coffee. You asked us what we wanted on the subway because you were adamant to pay but before you could even sit down Eddi ushered you to a room at the back. From what you've told me, there were four in the band, Eddi, the singer, Dayshawn, the drummer, Josh, the base player and Prim, the backup vocalist. Except now you were filling Josh's place and from what Edie said, you were a million times better than Josh and he's admitted that a couple of times.

I trusted you completely now, there was absolutely no reason to monitor your phone anymore, you left your phone on the table and this gave me the perfect opportunity to delete everything I had put on it. That was until I saw your conversation with Reece. It was a lengthy text.

"How are holding up Kiddo ? Just off the phone with Justin. He can't get over Bianca, he really can't. Charlie had him though, isn't it so weird how he was able to clean up his act and slot back into our lives when we needed him ? They have each-other, they'll be okay. Yet another job interview was done today. Fingers crossed right ? I know you'll have everything you can cross crossed from me. You've always been my biggest supporter. Finally at a place where I feel okay again. Need to come to New York so soon though. It'll be nice to see my baby sister and be reminded of my roots"

It was your response that struck me.

"That's just Justin all over. He carries all three of our emotions so he's bound to feel it more. So happy for you though. Of course, everything is crossed. Please come, it'll be so good to see you though and you can meet my boyfriend or rather get to know him better. It's Joe. I'm the happiest I've been in a long time. I know everyone will love him as much as I do because I really licked his ass in Chicago"

Now it was confirmed that that's what  was happening and you were avoiding me to make sure what you felt was real. You said I was perfect, that I was helping with Cody and that I was even supporting you tonight. You felt the exact same way as me and I loved it. It was a struggle to get to where we are now but I knew that at the beginning and all of it has been worth it. I smiled at my phone for what felt like forever and just as the spyware was uninstalling. Then a text came true. "That weird feeling gone then ?. While Bianca was shit, she always told us to follow our guts. Think she may be right this time"

Before I could even investigate, Cody stood up and started clapping. He had chocolate muffin crumbs all over his shirt and a hot chocolate mustache but looked so proud of you. I looked up and your eyes instantly found us, you smiled and waved and blew a million kisses in our direction. That message was whizzing around my brain but I ignored it. I could tell you felt self aware, Eddi's band had a couple of fans who'd know Josh was missing and you didn't want to be booed off the stage. You put on the guitar, Eddi smiled at you and introduced you, people clapped for you and you smiled, it was an awkward smile and you did an equally awkward wave to go with it but it was adorable.

Cody and I watched as you closed your eyes, you were feeling the music, you started shaking your head at one stage and I never knew Eddi could sing that well, you put on a show, you switched to acoustic guitar near the end and that was the cherry on top of the cake. I said the first time I met you that I'd get rid of all all music if it meant that I could just listen to your voice and I still stand by that, but your guitar playing, it was unbeatable. I hadn't heard you play properly, I'd just seen videos on Max's  phone and you had a look of severe concentration, you sang under your breath but you weren't enjoying it, not like you were right there, it was as if this was your calling.

The show finished late and you ran over to me instantly, Cody had fallen asleep long ago but he appreciated your music, he smiled like a Cheshire Cat every time you looked in our direction, which was a lot. You hugged me, asked if you were terrible and I couldn't agree, I told you you were phenomenal, better than the greatest but you instantly shook your head. "Don't offend Hendrix like that" you said as you took a deep breath and downed a glass of water. Your cheeks were bright red and you couldn't stop smiling. You enjoyed yourself and that was all that mattered. You took a seat and took Cody into your arms as he slept. "He loved it. He couldn't stop smiling" I said as you put your hand to your heart. "He's a great kid. If only Max saw it" you said while shaking your head as I took a breath. "Cody didn't talk about Max the way he talks about you" I said through a shrug, it was true and you knew it. We talked some more, just about what I thought, what Cody thought and then Eddi came over and took a seat.