Lullaby | Brahms Heelshire |

Chapter 30

I unlocked the screen and opened up the phone app ready to dial 999 but my thumb froze, hovering about the virtual button.

Was I really doing this? I Inhaled a deep breath and glanced out the window. The sun was just beginning to set. I was out cold for hours. Just left there to rot. The melted-creamsicle sky outside reminded me of my dream. The fading golden rays streaming down on my mother's hair. My sisters laughed as she splashed in the water. My fathers proud smile from the porch of my old home, spatula in hand. I longed to be there again. To be far from this. To be far from my fears. To have hope.

I looked at my phone again. I could have that all again. I could get it back so easy. Just one phone call. That's all it took. I would tell them everything, then watch as detective inspector Marchant drags Brahms away forever.

The thought twists like a knife In my gut more than I expected it to. My heart squeezed then wrung itself. The thought of betraying Brahms hurt so much. I felt ashamed for even thinking of it.

My gaze dropped to my belly and despite the pain, I knew what I had to do. I picked my purse up and crept towards the door. I couldn't make the call in the house. Brahms might hear through the sound pipes snaked through the walls and attack me before the police could arrive. If I drove to the gate and made the call he wouldn't be able to reach me.

My footfalls were so loud on the wood floor I was afraid of being discovered. I listened so hard to try to pinpoint Brahm's location.

A soft noise caused my ears to pick up and my feet to stop stepping. It was faint but I could hear it. It was a series of shutters and... sobs? Curiosity bubbled In my mind and I quickly stopped in front of Brahms's little boy room. I peeked inside to find nothing but an empty room, however the sobbing was louder. The noise echoed through the passage within the closet. Brahms must have been in his lair in the walls. But why was he crying? Absentmindedly, I dropped my purse on the small bed and tiptoed to the closet. The noise was unmistakable now, and they weren't sobs. They were wails.

My heart clenched at the sound. I had never heard him cry like this before. What on earth was going on? I was about to step into the wall but suddenly paused and glanced back to my purse. Now was my chance to throw this life away. To escape. But the sound of Brahms in pain was pulling me to the wall. He may have hurt me, but I still loved him. Maybe, we could make things right.

~*~

Facing the door to his secret room drained all the courage and hope I had gained. I feared that any second I would get spooked and make a dash back into the main house. Brahms's cries continued beyond the door, and were the only thing driving me to stay.

Maybe this was a bad idea? He doesn't want to see me. What if he lashes out again? I pushed the thoughts back. I needed to have courage. I sucked in a breath and opened the door.

The scene that greeted me was heartbreaking. Brahms lay on the floor by his bed cradling, the Brahms doll. His tears plinked onto the dolls porcelain face, causing it to weep as well. I quietly stepped in the room. Between sobs Brahms quietly muttered my name. I paused, afraid he caught me but when I glanced toward him, it appeared he hadn't noticed me yet.

I apprehensively glanced around the dim room. What now?

The animal traps dangling from the ceiling looked ready to ensnare me and lock me up forever. I still felt so out of place here.

What can I do to let him know I'm here without causing alarm? My heart ached seeing him like this, and I wanted nothing more than to pull him close to me and hold him. I silently cursed my too emotional heart and yearning to fix his damaged soul. Why couldn't I be made of steel and just leave? Call the police and never look back? Because you love him. I told myself.