Lullaby | Brahms Heelshire |

Chapter 19

Lullaby, and goodnight, you are my delight.
   It was when Brahms fell asleep that curiosity began nagging my brain about his room inside the walls. I tried my best to shake the creeping urge to go back and check it out, but the feeling would not leave me. I kept preoccupying myself with meaningless tasks to try and take my mind off of it.
    I sat crosslegged in the drawing room, folding laundry. My mind wandered as I gently creased a small night shirt into a small square. It was such a shame that Brahms was so sick. How did he even get sick anyway? He was never around anybody else by me, and as far as I could tell his lungs were too healthy to spontaneously get pneumonia. I stopped folding for a second, stumped at how Brahms got sick. Was pneumonia even contagious? Maybe I had picked it up from somebody at work? But if that was the case then why wasn't I sick?
   I rested my chin on my palm and began drumming my fingers on my cheek as I thought. How else did people get sick? Food? No. You can't get pneumonia from food poisoning. I quickly brushed away that stupid idea. Carbon monoxide? But again, that couldn't cause pneumonia. And if it was floating around in the air, the alarms I set would go off. That thought suddenly sparked an idea in my head. What if there was something else floating around in the air? Something floating around where it couldn't affect me, like in the walls. Something like fungus. A fungus giving us fumes. My heart began to pump with excitement. That was a totally reasonable explanation for Brahm's sickness. I smiled to myself and slowly stood up. Now that I had probable cause I could enter his room.
   I quickly snuck up the stairs to find the entrance into the wall. There was a little rush that pumped through my veins as I climbed into the crawlspace. It felt like I was a teenager, breaking my parents rules. My heart raced as I stood outside the door to Brahm's room. It was time to find the source of his pneumonia and if I happened to snoop around his room in the process, then it would be the rooms fault for being so intriguing. I smirked to myself. I'm really good at reasoning.
   My gaze drilled at the door as if I could see through it. What was I waiting for? I smiled and quickly twisted the doorknob open. I was welcomed into the room once again by hazy lights and musty smells. I closed my eyes and inhaled through my nose to take in the smell. Yep, there was definitely something funky I didn't notice before. I open my eyes and side in dismay. If I was going to find the source of the moldy smell, it was going to take forever because the room was so cluttered. I took in a deep breath and began inspecting the walls for mold.
   The task proved to be as difficult as I thought because of all the random stuff Brahms had on his walls. I tried to carefully look behind all his things without disrupting it. I decided to try my luck by moving his bedside table over, to peer at the wall behind it.
   I began to clear the small table so that nothing would fall off and get damaged. I reached for the lamp and gingerly picked it up, gazing at the tiny porcelain lady attached to the base. It was kind of strange to find something like that in a grown man's room. Then again, that grown man was Brahms, and Brahms was technically eight... Well socially anyway.
   I gently set the lamp on the floor before turning my attention to a piece of paper on the table. 'Leave it be Danny' I told myself. 'It is none of your business'. Then I quickly swiped it up and held it out to read. Who cares? I decided. Brahms didn't need to know that I read it. Curly manuscript was scrawled all over the page.
   "Wait a minute." I said under my breath as something clicked in my head. "I know this handwriting." I muttered, my eyes mulling over the cursive words.
   It looked like it was a letter from Mrs. Heelshire.
   What? But she died. I looked to the corner of the paper for the date. Relief washed over me, it had been written about the  time before her and her husband's alleged suicide. So this letter was not recent. I held the paper firmly in my hands as a chill ran down my spine. This was the suicide note she had written to her son. I tilted my head close it's the paper eager to read what it said.
   Our dearest son, it began,
Words cannot describe our heart break as we leave you now.
We will not be back. We simply cannot bear to live with what we have allowed you to become.
The girl is yours now. She is yours to love and care for.
May God forgive us all.
Love always,
Mummy and Daddy.
   I dropped the paper, feeling the blood drain from my head making it empty. They killed themselves because of Brahms. I took a step back, feeling sick to my stomach. What could Brahms have done that made them want to end their life's?
   My vision suddenly clouded and dulled, as if a black-and-white film had been dropped over my eyes. I watched the same scene that I had played through my mind dozens of times before. Brahms was strangling me.
   I quickly shook the vision away. I was horrified to feel tears begin to build, as I looked back down to the note. The girl is yours now. the words burned in my mind. What girl? Who was the girl, and where was she now? Was she the previous owner of the coral dress?
   I needed answers. And I needed them from Brahms.
~*~
   I slowly entered the living room, still clutching the note between my fingers. Brahms was awake and sitting up on the couch. He turned to me and froze once he saw what I had in my hand. "That's mine."He said softly. I nodded and cautiously took a seat on the opposite side of the couch from him. "Brahms", my voice cracked, "why did your parents write this?" My stomach twisted, and the back of my throat burned. I watched him sit completely still as the clock ticked quietly in the background. He was taking and eternity to answer.
   "Mummy and daddy were leaving me." He finally spoke. "They were afraid." His voice shook.
   "Of you?" I asked, furrowing my brows.
   He looked down, avoiding to answer.
   I swallowed nervously. "So they left you alone?" His eyes shot back up to mine. "No." He paused. "They gave me Greta."
   "Greta?"
   He just stared at me.
   "Was she a friend?" Like Emily? I thought.
   "I chose her." He said. "She came to watch me, and I chose her to be mine." The tone in his voice was sending chills up and down my spine.
   "She came to watch you in the walls?" I asked carefully.
   "No."
   His mask stared blankly at me, reminding me of the dolls face.
   "The doll?" I whispered. Brahms nodded.
   "Why the doll?"
   "Because I had to follow the rules."
   "Rules?" I asked, wondering if he was going to tell me the story I had learned from the journal.
   He took a second before answering. "Mummy and daddy told me to stay in the walls. If I left the walls the people would take me away."
   "Why would they take you away?" I asked, urging him to talk about Emily.
   He stared down into his hands. Lost in his own thoughts.
   "Mummy and daddy didn't want me to leave them. But they left me, and they were mine." There was sadness in his voice. "Greta left me, and she was mine." I could see that his eyes were growing wet.
   My heart sunk and I scooted closer to him. "Well I am yours Brahms, and I will never leave you." I said taking his hand in mine.
   His glossy eyes scanned my lips, and he began to inch his way closer to my face. An idea suddenly came to me and I stopped him from coming any closer by moving my face away. My heart pump to wildly in my chest.
   "Brahms, I really want to kiss you." I said. He nodded slightly and moved in closer. "No." I said stopping him again. "I want to kiss you." He trembled and looked into my eyes as I slowly lifted my hands and grasped the corner of his mask. My hands shook, I was ready for him to lash out at any moment, but he didn't.
   I trembled, slowly lifting the mask from his face. It was finally happening. I tried my best to conceal a gasp once his features were no longer shrouded from view.
   The burn scars took up the entire right side of his face. The fragile reddish pink skin was tightly stretched over his skull, accentuating every ridge and curve in his face. The other side however, was completely untouched by blemishes. And wow. Brahms was extremely handsome. His skin was pale from never seeing sunlight. His eyebrow was thick and framed his eye perfectly. He had high cheekbones and his lips were a natural pale rose color that I would kill for.
   I just stared at him speechless. He was beautiful. Brahms shyly looked to the floor And nervously lifted his hand to cover his scarred face. "No!" I quickly said and reached to catch his arm. "You are beautiful." I said with a smile. Brahms gasped in surprise. "You are beautiful." I said again in a whisper. Brahms moved in closer to me, his lips were so close to mine. My body quaked with nervousness. Everything seemed to be moving so quickly yet so slow. Every movement, every breath, every heartbeat was enhanced to my now sensitive ears.
   I slowly put my hand on his scarred cheek, he blinked and looked up at me. The look in his eyes was so alluring. And then, when we were so close that my eyes were almost crossing, Brahms quickly drew me to him. His hungry lips touched mine with a light snack. His arms instinctively circled my body and drew me to him. I could feel the clean line between our bodies melt until we were firmly pressed to one another. A fire I had never felt before coursed through me, I needed more of him.
   I backed him up to the arm of the couch, pinning him down, closer to me. He began kissing me with more intensity, so much so that I couldn't keep up. Just as I was about to pull back to take a breath, Brahm's hand came up and threaded through my hair, pulling me closer to him. He kissed me roughly as if he had been craving this for a long time.
   He suddenly flipped me around so that I was laying on the couch. His weight was on me. His body was cradled between my legs. The fire inside me was now exploding, too big for my body to contain.
   Strange choking noises escaped from my throat. I couldn't breathe. Both his hands were lost in my hair, forcing my lips to stay on his. I desperately tried to breathe through my nose but it wasn't enough air.
   "Stop!" I gasped, using all my strength to push him off me. Brahms was so lost in the moment, he leaned back in to kiss me again. I quickly lifted my hand and covered his mouth. His hazel eyes searched me hungrily.
   "Wait." I said panting. "I couldn't breathe."
   "Sorry Danny." Brahms said through my hand making his voice all muffled.
   I giggled and moved my hand away. "I've been wanting to do that for a while." I smiled at him. "Me too Danny." He said showing me his beautiful smile for the first time.