Daisies

-1-

I'll be fine. I hope. Go be happy, that's all I wish for you.

Seeing you fall in love....it makes me happy. We are best friends forever, I tell myself.

Nothing more. Never more than that.

I can't really offer you anything and he's so much more than I'll ever be. You love him, don't you?

And he makes you so happy you feel like you want to spend every living moment together with him, doesn't he?

I hope you guys will last for a long time. Love him and cherish him forever, Eunsang-ah. I know he loves you so much too, because he told me.

It's getting late. I should probably go to sleep and wait until the sun rises up, I know I won't be able to fall asleep anyways. Hey, Eunsang?

You deserve to be happy.

Goodbye,

Junho

~~

Void.

And emptiness. That was all he felt when he stared at the white, clean halls that smelt like alcohol and medicine.

Somehow, the hospital had become one of the places he despised.

In his hands he was holding a small bouquet of sunflowers and white roses. Just the thought of buying daisies made him sick already, not wanting to remember the last time he had seen them.

Blood. Junho coughing. Blood, blood and so many beautifully terrifying daises.

Eunsang heaved a shaky breath. The flowers in his hand looked pitiful, almost as if they already knew what damage they had done.

What he had done.

The redhead noticed how his hands were trembling, a thin layer of sweat forming on his palms. He was alone today, although it wasn't the first time he had visited Junho since his childhood friend woke up.

Everything felt so strange, so absent. Ever since Junho uttered the words "Who are you?" he couldn't get a single drop of sleep. It bugged him to no end and Eunsang felt numb.

His best friend had been in love with him.

Cha Junho had loved him to the point of dying.

An unrequited love, that's the cause of the disease. The doctor said Junho would be fine, but some of his memories would be deleted forever. He already felt that something was off and the moment he stepped into that cursed room, the moment Junho opened his eyes...

Hanahaki was a curse. A painful, choking curse that left loss even without anyone knowing. It scarred and tore, slowly breaking a person from the inside out.

He knows he should be happy Junho is alive. Eunsang is really thankful, hell, he even jumped around and screamed the moment he heard Junho's surgery went well. But he just can't bring himself to look at his hyung's face, not after knowing he caused Junho that much pain.

They all caused him this pain.

It must be some kind of karma for them to suffer the consequences. To have him forget them, erasing every single moment of him from the older's memory and leave then them puzzling the threads together bit by bit.