The Doctor Of War ³

Extremis

"Well, if he's so keen to talk to me, why doesn't he just come here himself?"

"He is here. He's standing right in front of us" Nardole says.

"Hello, ah, the Pope. I'm sorry that I didn't recognise you there. You don't do this. The Pope doesn't zoom round the world in the Popemobile, surprising people. Why would you do that?"

"Extremis" the Pope replies.

*Time Skip*

"There is an ancient text buried deep in the most secret of the Vatican libraries. A text older than the Church itself. The language of this text is lost to us, but thanks to the work of an early Christian sect, the title has survived" Angelo places an old torn piece of parchment on the desk.

"Ok, so what's the title?" I ask.

"Oh. Yes, I can see that it says, er, Veritas. Oh" Nardole says.

"Literally, The Truth."

"Obviously, this sect, they understood the language," the Doctor says.

"It died with them. And all copies of their translation disappeared shortly after their mass suicide. A few months ago, after many centuries of work, the Veritas was translated again."

"Right? And?" Nardole asks.

"What did it say?" the Doctor asks.

"No-one knows. Everyone who worked on the translation, and everyone who subsequently read it is now dead. Dead, by their own hand" I am calling up news reports on my sonic shades "the Veritas is a short document. A few pages only. And yet, it contains a secret that drives all who know it to destroy themselves."

"Confirmed suicides? All of them?" I ask.

"In every case. Beyond doubt."

"All bodies recovered?"

"Except one, but we naturally assumed that he had..."

"Assume nothing. Assumption makes an ass out of you, and umption. Cardinal, one of your translators is missing."

"Seer, those translators were devout. Believers. They took their own lives in the knowledge that suicide is a mortal sin. They read the Veritas and chose Hell."

"Will you read the Veritas?" the Pope asks.

*Time Skip*

"Loo's through there," Bill says.

"Oh, ta! I thought you'd moved out from here?" Bill's friend, Penny asks.

"Yeah, slightly didn't work out. Second attempt on the way" Penny goes into the toilet, while Bill goes into the living room and turns on a light.

"Did I hear voices?" Moira, Bill's roommate asks.

"I thought you were going out with Harry tonight?"

"Howard."

"I don't like knowing their names. I only get attached."

"Did you bring someone home?"

"Yeah. I'm a grown-up. I can do that, can't I?"

"Of course not. I have very strict rules about men."

"Probably not as strict as mine" Penny flushes the loo and come out.

"Oh, hello. Are you Moira?" Penny asks.

"Oh, you're a girl!"

"Mmm. I'm Penny."

"Oh! Oh, I see! Oh, I'm sorry. Here's me thinking that she dragged some poor, terrified man home."

"Well, phew," Bill says.