𝑫𝒂𝒏𝒄𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝑰𝒏 𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝑺𝒕𝒓𝒆𝒆𝒕𝒔 [ 𝒓𝒐𝒄𝒌 𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒑𝒔 ]

dick bagger bc why not

I randomly got this idea a few minutes ago while i was in the kitchen lmfao

David Bowie woz watching some shit on TV. He was bored af and in love with a guy named Mick Jagger. Yea, hes gay for Mick Jagger

aNYWAYS thats not the point. the point is, David was just looking for something to watch on TV. He kept scrolling through each channel. Just a bunch of boring shit on TV. There has to be something more intersting, right?

Then David came across a channel where they were interviewing Mick Focking Jagger. Yes, Jaggero was on TV. David started fangirling like an 11 year old and wotched this intervew

In the Interview, this shit happened

"So Mickey Jaggero, are you straight?"

"Oh hell yea im straight. I aint gay," Mick said.

"Surreeeeeee, I belive you," the interview laughed loike a hyena

"No, Im actually straight I swear. I only liek girls"

"Yea, He's straight alright! Straight as Robert Plant's hair," this random guy said

"BITCH I SWEAR IM STRAIGHT," Mick said and then wrestled the interviewer and the goi. Long story short, the interview was over and David turned the TV off

David felt tears fill his eyes. Yea, poor David was crying over his gay crush, Mick Jagger who was too straight for him. He needed to go rant to someone about this so he went to this therapist.

At the therapist, David ranted abotu Mick and how boootiful he wos. The therapist was getting bord and sick of Bowie talking about Mick fishlips Jagger.

"Bruhhhh why do you even loike this MIck guy? Hes a focking whore," therapist said/

"BECAUSE HES HOT AND I LOVE HIM," Bowie said feeling annoyed of this dumb therapist who isnt helping.

"Keith and Brian are where its at bro. Mick is fuking ugly. Get some better taste man," therapist said.

"IVE HAD ENOUGH OF THIS NASTY BEHAVIOR," David said and threw the therapist out the window. What a shitty therapist. She didnt even help him. 

Meanwhile, Jagger is at some autograph signing place close to the therapists office. A bunch of crazy ass fangirls were surrounding him and getting his autograph. Mickey jost smoiled and signed them all and kissed those fangirls. David wotched Mick kiss them with envy and decided to run to where he was at.

When he foinally got there, he shoved all the girls in the crowd while that one Ludacris song played. Then he finally got to Mick.

"David Bowie...?" the singer asked as he saw David approach him

"yes. It is me. Ive had a gay crush on you since forever and when i saw you claim you were straight in that interview, i FUCKING CRIED."

"DAVID I A M SO SORRY. I SAID I WAS STRIAGHT BECAUSE THOSE INTERVIEWERS WERE GONNA MAKE FUN OF ME"

"Bruh. There is nothing wrong with being gay," Dave said in dissaproval

"ok.ok,.you are right, Im sorry david,"

Mick and David ran out of the crowd and went to the park where the y could finaly be alone.

"Mick I need to tell you something,"

"wot?" Jaggero said as he yawned

"Im not actually David Bowie"

"Wait- bitch wut? WHo are you then"

David stood up from the bench and started talking off his David bowie costume but before he could reveal who he actually was, this stupid ass bomb from outer space fell on earth and exploded and ruined the whole story smfh

Stupid Bomb. This woz about to have a happy af ending but nooooo, the bomb HAD to fall from space at this moment

Oh yea, everyone died except Keith and Ozzy becoz they're immmortal af

The end. Dont blame the author, blame the bomb for ruining this shit