mattia polibio: my boy

therapy

y/n: um. yeah. and yours?

makayla: makayla. i think i know you! aren't you that bitch who cheated on mattia polibio? 

ok first of all-

who you callin' 'bitch' ?!

second of all-

your heart sank. 

you just couldn't get away from it. the heartbreak, the darkness, the past. you rolled your tongue against your teeth. you just wanted a fucking break. this group therapy was NOT helping.

jada: i thought i was the only one that noticed! i wasn't sure if this was the y/n we were thinking about or not. she looks different. like, skinnier and paler.

y/n: um.

💭 fucking bitches i'm right here 💭

makayla: yeah, since we're talking about "love life's" right now why don't you tell us about why you cheated on him? you know, i'm a big fan of him. and his fans didn't like how you kissed his BEST friend. you gotta admit, he moved on pretty fast though. from you to cynthia. even though they kinda fell off. cynthia's really pretty though, i don't blame him.

she said looking you up and down.

you heard gasps and 'oh my god' 's.

y/n: you know what-

naveah: dude, he's hot as fuck. like he can rail me whenever wherever. i heard he's packin' too. oh my god, forget about the fact that you cheated on him. how big's his dick?

jada: tell him to accept me on his spam!

you got cut off. 

ha, he actually blocked you from literally everything after what happened. so you weren't even on his spam or private yourself anymore. 

anyways...this was so fucking awkward and weird and you were mad.

erika: let's change the topic.

makayla: no i want to know about y/n's love life.

erika: well you didn't exactly make a nice approach. she doesn't have to talk about it if she doesn't want to.

y/n: there's not much to talk about. i cheated and he broke up with me. 

you didn't want to tell his fans more than they already knew. you didn't want them to know he was talking to cynthia while you guys were together. it'd spread quick and make him look bad. 

makayla: well, what are you guys now? 

y/n: friends.

alejandra: why not friends with benefits?

she said laughing.

y/n: ohh i don't know. maybe it's because i'm stuck in rehab while he's living a free life? how would we even-

celeste: OOOHHH kayyy that's enough with love life's. 

you looked over at makayla and got the sudden urge to just choke her.

choke.

michael.

you got flashbacks to when he choked you and you felt so weak and powerless under him. you hadn't noticed but your hand began to shake.

celeste: y/n? are you ok?

you looked up at celeste. her dark blue eyes were mysteriously pretty. she had a pale slim face and dark black hair.

celeste: what's up? wanna talk about whatever's going on in there?

she said pointing at your head.

y/n: no.

celeste: you know... part of healing is being able to let go of all those bad memories and thoughts and just let it out. set them free. talk to us, we're here for you. your words are safe with us.

fuck no. that makayla bitch and everyone here (except erika) is probably just going to be nice to you to get to mattia. and spread your personal life. if you hadn't met mattia, would all of this be different? then you felt like crying. your eyes began to water and your lips began to tremble. 

y/n: i just.... really wanna work on myself. 

celeste: aw, ok. i understand. first step to that is learning to accept your mistakes.

ok. these bitches already knew you cheated but if they want to hear you say it yourself, so be it.

y/n: uh.. yeah. i cheated on mattia. by kissing his best friend. i didn't mean it whatsoever. i was fucking crossfaded. i regret it. i hate myself. and.. yeah.

erika: well i don't hate you.

makayla: you know, most of his fandom wants you dead.

celeste: makayla!

you were angry. and mad. and sad. 

you couldn't help it. it wasn't like you. 

you got up and slapped her.

michael had really grown on you.

makayla: you bitch!

she grabbed for your hair but you wrapped your hands around her throat and wouldn't let go. she looked at you with fright in her eyes. 

💭i'm gonna kill this bitch 💭

celeste tried to pull you two apart while erika screamed "YES BITCH GET HER" in the back.

makayla: you're.... crazy

she struggled to say to you. her eyes rolled to the back to her head and celeste finally pulled you off of her. makayla gasped for air.

and you broke the fuck down. celeste hugged you and so did erika. the rest just kinda stared at you. 

erika: seriously?a bitch is crying right now. so much for group therapy.

erika said to the rest of the girls staring. she took you out and went for a walk with you out near the flower garden. you saw the exact flowers mattia got you on valentines day. everything just fucking reminded you of him.

erika: it's not gonna be easy. 

y/n: i feel annoying.

erika: uh- fuck no. you should be the one annoyed. it's hard enough dating a semi famous guy. but struggling with addiction and depression? all together? i mean, i heard your addiction and depression was worse than mine.

your crying slowed.

y/n: i just miss not caring about anything at all. and going a day without crying.

erika: i miss going a day without feeling sad.

you looked at her and she grabbed your hand. 

erika: we got this. 

she hugged you and you hugged her back. 

y/n: we got this.

you couldn't sleep that night. 

you thought about that time mattia took you to the fair with your little brother. 

you thought about all those times he'd cuddle with you and post pictures of you guys on his private and sometimes his spam.

you thought about that time you and him tried to make macarons but it ended up turning out to tase AND look like shit. 

you thought about that time when you and him were at target and having a toy sword battle and he accidentally knocked shit off the shelf and so you guys almost got kicked out.

and you just thought about him.

you forgot what it felt like to be happy.