Tyler Joseph - Random Short Stories.

93% effective

What was she supposed to do now? She couldn't tell him. That would just ruin his whole life. Maybe she could find a way to keep it a secret. Yes, if she just ate a lot and then told him she was just fat maybe the baby bump wouldn't be a big deal, right?

No, that was a terrible idea. What was she thinking?

She stayed silent as they drove home, Tyler occasionally looking over to check on her. He was confused on her sudden mood change.

Immediately once she stepped foot in the house she crawled on the couch and covered herself with blankets.

She felt like a failure. It was her fault for ruining Tyler's life. Now because of her and her stupid reproduction system, he had to worry about another human being. That's exactly what he didn't want right now. He was busy, and stressed all of the time.

How could she ever tell him? Maybe she could go on a 6 month long vacation and tell him she'll be back, and then give the baby to her mom. But she didn't want to do that either. Also, it was totally unrealistic.

"Do you have something else to tell me?" Tyler asked gently as he sat down beside her heaps of blankets.

Those words were enough to send her over the top, and she burst into tears. "I'm sorry." She mumbled.

Tyler quickly laced her into a hug. "Hey, no. Baby, it's okay. What is it?"

Y/n shook her head. "I can't tell you." She squeaked.

"Why not?" He pulled her away so he could examine her face.

"Because you're busy." She murmured, another wave of tears overflowing her eyes making her let out a sob.

"What do you mean? I'm right here with you."

"We messed up." She buried her face in his chest.

"Y/n, you're making no sense."

"I'm pregnant!" Y/n burst, she had enough of him being all comforting. She had to get it over with. She wiped her eyes on Tyler's shirt, and Tyler stiffened.

"H-how- how? w- we always use condoms."

"Condoms work 93% of the time." Y/n let out another sob after that.

"What? Where did you get that information?"

"From the box." She sniffled.

"It does not say that."

"Yes it does."

"Well, why didn't we get the ones that work 100% of the time?"

"Those don't exist."

Tyler stood up. "Then why the fuck did we buy them?" He began to pace around the room, his eyes full of panic as it actually began to sink in.

He then rushed to the bedroom, opening his drawer and taking one of the small silver squares.

He then rushed back out as he read over the wrapper. "It doesn't say it anywhere on here!"

Y/n had stopped crying now, but her eyes were puffy red, and her nose was runny. "Yes it does, look right here." Her voice was raw, and she sniffled.

She pointed to the bottom right corner. And in small print read, "only 93% effective."

Tyler's eyes went wide. "Who could even read this garbage!? You'd have to be a super human to read this shit!" He threw it on the ground as he began to pace.

"Just calm down please."

"Calm down? You calm down!" He shouted, making y/n jump. His eyes softened, as he looked from her eyes to her belly. "Oh, I'm sorry. This is probably terrible for the baby. Just calm down and don't stress, okay?"

He quickly knelt down and kissed her stomach, rubbing his hand over, and leaning his forward on it. Y/n was confused. Was he mad? He seemed livid, but at the same time he seemed attached to the baby as if it was his own.— well, it was.

"Are you mad at me?" Y/n asked reluctantly. She had to know, and she knew she wasn't getting an answer unless if she asked.

Tyler furrowed his eyebrows as he looked up at the girl. "No, sweetheart, no. I just- got a little crazy there. It's not just your fault, it's also mine." He kissed her stomach again. "I'm not going anywhere." He then hugged her tightly by the legs, which made her giggle slightly. "I mean, how did I not know it was 93% safe?"

"I guess we're to caught up in the moment to read the wrapper, Hmm?" Y/n chuckled.

"That makes sense." Tyler smiled.

ಠ_ಠ

"Dude, did you know that condoms don't work 7% of the time?" Tyler asked immediately once josh answered.

"What! Where does it say that?"

"It's in really small print on the bottom right."

"Hold on I need to see this." Josh could be heard ruffling through some drawers until a loud gasp traveled to the speakers. "DEBBY DID YOU KNOW THAT CONDOMS ARE OBLY 93% SAFE AND NOT 100?"

Tyler listened as he heard Debby's muffled voice. "Yeah, haven't you read the box?"

"Well, why don't we buy the 100% ones?"

"There's no such thing." Tyler and Debby said in unison.

"WHAT?"

"Alright, Josh, I gotta go call mark and warn him." Tyler said, hovering his finger over the red end button

"Good idea, I'll call Brad."

T H E E N D

ಠ_ಠ

If you don't know already, this one was sort of a funny story instead of a serious one.

I know NOTHING about condoms. I remembered a friends episode that went sort of like this. I forgot the actual effective percentage, but it's close. I didn't want to rewatch the episode because I didn't want to copy it to much.