Dear Diary

Chapter 5

Silence. Well, I like your eyes. He says. Oh thank you, yours are nice too. He smiles now I guess. What is your name? Oh Im sorry I forgot to tell you. My name is Evelin. Nice to meet you Evelin, Im Joe. Hi Joe. Thats literally so embarrassing. I never talked to much boys before. Im very shy in that way. People maybe think that Im confident but mostly the people who I talk with or who Im being friends with are confident. Well, when my friends were around I was really confident about meeting boys but if were alone it is different. Maybe thats just because I think too much about everything I do. It is not so good in here right? They told me Id go to a holiday camp. Yes they told me that too and now I am here. What a nice holiday camp. He laughs. Did I really just made him laugh? Thats the first goal I did today! Nice applause please! His voice sounds really cute actually.

Wait, what did I just thought? No its better to not getting in contact with guys in here. Better for all. If I get in a realationship or something, Ill just get hurt. No, it is not a good idea at all.

Well, I have to go now. Maybe I see you soon! I say. Wait but I cant hear what hes saying because I leave. Time to look for Carla. She has to work with those old men as she said. I go around the two houses. Im really excited to know what those two big chimneys over there means. they are agonizing once a week as a girl said. She is here since three weeks. Thats really hard and I feel bad after just two days. Stupid me. I have to pull myself together. Actually my thoughts are just confusing right now. I think about whats going to happen. What about my family? Do they think about me? Are they in danger too? What will happen to me and to all the people in here? Do we have to die? I dont know. It is really sad to dont know when youre going to die but knowing itll be soon. In the age of fifteen. I actually just wanted to live anyway. Now I am here and no one knows whats happening.

Carla! Where are you? I scream. Some people are staring at me like I did something wrong. I started thinking like Carla. I dont really have to care about peoples opinions because actually were all going to die. that sounds pessimistic but it's the truth. Evelin! I am here! In the right house! Shes screaming back. Im coming! I answer. I run to the two houses. The right one is so much better than the left house. You have to come to terms with the situation ultimately. I walk into the right one. What are you doing out there? It is much better in here! let me convince you. Shes sitting on a red carpet. from where did you get the carpet? I ask. Oh, I found it in a box. Those are the theatre or musician boxes. Wouldnt it be great to sing in a choir or playing something like theatre? Better than doing nothing. You are absolutely right. Maybe well get a better change to survive If we do that! Maybe she is not wrong with that idea.

Kommt zum Platz.

Not again! It is so stupid to scream over the whole field. We can hear you. Stupid soldiers. Carla says. The eye roll she does after that is really over dramatic. Pull yourself together, Carla! I whisper but I still have to giggle at her sentence. You could make a book named Carlas Wisdom! I whisper and she really laughs at it. I love making people smile or laugh. It makes me mostly happier than it makes them feel. Were arriving the middle of the field.

Folgende Nummern kommen sofort mit mir. Nummer 23, 67, 157, 10, 34.

I learned to say my number in german. Siebenundsiebzig. Sounds really funny.

88, 45, 07, 12, 47 und 82. Der Rest geht mit Ihm.

His finger shows to another soldier next to him but actually they all look the same to me because I cant really see their faces. The said numbers are following the man and they doesnt look very happy. Carla looks at me. Were so lucky that our number wasnt called by the soldier. Yes we definitely are. I smile at her and I could swear that she smiles back. Were following the soldier to another house I havent saw before.

Aufstellen. Ein Spalier bilden.

It costs us just a few seconds to follow his Instructions. Otherwhise it costs us maybe our life. Carla holds me hand. I am really happy that I found a friend here. The boy I met today stands right in front of me and he I can feel his eyes on me what makes me kind of nervous. I can hear some people whispering to each other but theyre talking in german. I only understand Sterben. It means Dying and I learned that from Carla.

Ruhe!

Completely silence. No ones saying a single word.

Nun, jetzt werden wir herausfinden, ob ihr wirklich was taugt oder einfach nur sinnlos weitere Zeit hier verbringt.

Heißt das, wenn ich nichts kann, darf ich zu Mutter und Vater? Gute Idee! a boy says. His friends are laughing a little but they turn quiet when they see the Facial expression of the soldier.

Raus. Nehmt ihn mit.

Other soldiers are pulling the boy out of the door. Hes screaming for help but no one is saying a single word. Thats the humanity. We all want to survive even if little kids have to die for us. We dont care at others we just care about ourselves.

Jeder von euch wird mir nun in einer Zeitspanne von einer Minute zeigen müssen, was er oder sie kann. Bin ich damit nicht zufrieden, könnt ihr euch auf das gefasst machen, was dem kleinen passiert ist. Also strengt euch lieber an.