I'm Afraid of What I'm Risking if I Follow You

Part 7

Hans's eyes widened. "She will sing to those who hear," he sang, "and in her song, all magic flows."

Elsa nodded. "The song is about the voice and about Ahtohallan. It's a song that comes from the Northuldra."

"But then..."

"How would you know it?" Elsa finished. "I don't know. Maybe that's why the spirits can't affect you."

"But I've never been here," Hans pointed out. "I've never seen any of this before, and yet—"

"You knew about the dam. Even I didn't know the dam existed until I saw it in person. What I found in Ahtohallan was that my grandfather had the dam built as a ruse to overthrow the Northuldra, and the whole forest was surrounded in mist. Anna had the Earth Giants destroy it. But none of that information is privy in any history book on Arendelle—it was just a story my father had told me."

Hans inclined closer, out of pure confusion. "I noticed that, too, when I read up on Arendelle, especially during those refresher lessons before your coronation. There had been no mention of the dam in any of its history."

Elsa couldn't help but incline closer, as well, not even noticing that their hands were dangerously close to brushing. "That's why I have to bring you to Ahtohallan," she announced. As she said the words out loud, she could feel her heart pounding, the pure belief in every word. With this mystery only thickening, she needed those answers now. "I could try and bring up all your memories, but it would only take up too much time with the methods we're using. We need to see if that's where the voice is truly calling you."

Hans pointed to his abdomen. "What about this?"

"When you're healed," she assured. "I have to make sure you won't, well... die on the way there. Or while we're there."

"While?" he repeated. "God, listen to me—I sound broken."

"It's made out of ice, for one thing, so the cold might kill you," she said. "Not to mention, if you dive too deep into Ahtohallan... you'll freeze to death trying to uncover every secret. I froze down there—only Anna was able to reverse it by righting the wrongs of the past."

"So... something in my past—that I have no idea what it is or how to reverse it—is what's making me immune to the spirits?"

Elsa nodded. "That's the theory, anyway. Hopefully we can figure out what it is before risking either of our lives trying to find it."

"Ahtohallan," said Hans, this glimmer of hope in his eyes Elsa had honestly never seen before.

"But can you brave what you most fear?" she sang. "Can you face what the river knows?"

"Is the memory supposed to be... painful?" he asked.

"Ahtohallan is a lot of things: beautiful, ethereal, powerful. But what I had to face was more external—your case might be different. It might be... something far more personal."

After a moment, he continued, "Until the river's finally crossed, you'll never feel the solid ground."

And then, together, "You have to get a little lost on your way to being found."

It was a message, a warning. It was like diving down was always part of the process. But Elsa would be damned if she ever had to go down there again—she couldn't. She'd never been cold before, and she never wanted to feel that after braving Ahtohallan. She and Hans would find a way around that.

"You should be healed up in less than a fortnight," Elsa predicted. "Once you feel comfortable to really ride the Nokk, I'll guide you there."

"But how did you know?" Hans asked.

"Know what?"

"That Ahtohallan was where your powers originated."

She had to really think about that. Elsa shifted, unintentionally closer to Hans. "I... don't think I can explain it," she said slowly. "Once I arrived, I just knew. The walls moved for me. I was able to sing with the voice, and let it take me over. I... transformed with it. The powers of Ahtohallan are a gift that I'm lucky enough to conjure—and ice and snow just happen to be part of it, as the fifth spirit. That probably didn't make sense, but..."

"I think I get it," he said, ducking his head down so he could meet her gaze. "You had a semblance of showing that power in your palace—even if you weren't aware of it then."

Elsa had never had to explain herself to anyone like this before—Anna had always just accepted her as she'd always been, and her parents never had the chance to tell her what she really was. Hearing it from Hans, this outsider... why did that make her heart swell with gratitude? Why did she like hearing it from him?

"You're more than human," he continued. "You're an extension of Ahtohallan."

"A gift," she whispered, reminiscing on how her parents had described her powers before the incident with Anna.

But was that gift meant for anything outside of the Northuldra? She couldn't see it.

She and Hans were practically touching. Their faces were so close that she could see the flecks of gold in those green eyes, how delicate his freckles were. Clearing her throat, Elsa sat back, shifting to put her slippers back on. "Yelena's been threatening me to tell you about it for a while," she admitted. "I was afraid you knowing about it would have you wanting to set off on the adventure before you were healed." At least, that was the reasoning she felt comfortable with saying aloud. But there was no doubt about it: she had to share Ahtohallan with him.

"You're not wrong," he admitted. "Moana had to practically wrestle me down to keep me from exploring."

Maybe Elsa would see more of her. "Then I suppose I made the right call."

"Ahtohallan seems rather... personal to you," he observed. "You're fine with me going there?"

"It's not my decision." If she could say it out loud, she could do it. She could believe it. "If the voice calls you there, that's where you have to go."

He could only nod, at that point. There was so much to prepare: rehabilitation, making sure Hans was bundled up enough, more rides on the Nokk...

And then Elsa realized, there was one more thing she had to ask. "Hans?"

"Hm?" He started to pull on his boots. Bruni got bored with the puddles he made, running back to Hans with boundless energy.

"Who... told you about the dam?" It had to have come from a person, if there was no written record that hadn't already been destroyed.

"Well, I don't remember if she was the one who exposed me to the song, but she certainly told me about the dam—assured me that no matter what I read, it existed."

"Who?" Elsa pressed.

Hans just blinked, realizing he hadn't been specific. "My mother."