Steve and Bucky-the prized assets of HYDRA

Chapter 9 Safe?

Following like this are all said in Russian
It was 1982
"Soldat, your mission is to retrieve the Tesseract which is located here" Skull held up a photo and pointed the blonde soldier to the map "you will bring it back to us using this jet located here"  the blank gaze of the super soldier studied the maps and photo intently. Answering with a short sharp nod. Skull smiled grotesquely wide and sent him off his favourite way "Hail HYDRA" "Hail HYDRA"

The mission had been successful uniform stained red and the tesseract in the soldiers grasp. He was on the jet flying back to base. He was alone with his thoughts, thoughts? What were-
"Punk" "Jerk"
"I'm just a kid from Brooklyn"
"I can do this all day"
"I'm with you til the end of the line"
"I'm a fairy a goddam Fairy!! and I can't stop it, truth is I love you Stevie"
"STEEEEEVE"
.........
And then it hit him, full throttle.
"I'm Steve Rogers" shocked he looked to his surroundings it was a plane? He was piloting to - to where? Where was he?
A screaming face, and a bang, than another a woman, a child a baby, crying spattered in red, in blood. His uniform! Red. He was.. Hydra had, oh NO! Bucky!! Was Peggy really- no, what- what year was it?

A million thoughts circled his head, heat and pain, electricity, cries, screams, sparks than

infront of him a radio crackled to life
"Soldat ETA?" Steve froze. Looking down he was above water, his mission! He remembered he was carrying a potential bomb!
"SOLDAT STATUS"
Steve grasped the radio in his hand. Decision made he turned it on, crackling to life. "My name is Steve Rogers and I AM NOT YOUR SOLDIER" there was a gasp on the other end "(Val-)"
Steve crumpled the radio in his fist before they could finish. And turning the plane nose down he dived deep into the icy waters.

It was 2012. when he was thawed out. When he went toe to toe with Loki after just 2 weeks. Shield were not the same organisation not by a long shot. They hadn't bothered to educate him which was just as good. After all Steve had a feeling in the pit of his stomach that he would  have been the cause for most of these events. when Fury asked what year the plane had crashed he said he had dived the plane in 1945 he was not about to reveal his 'HYDRA time' to them. Too many embarrassing and evil memories stored up inside of him. And that's where they were going to stay.

He kept the secret through meeting the Avengers. Through battling Loki. Tony Stark was nothing like Howard...but he did prove him wrong by nearly dying!!! So Tony was more than Ok in his eyes. Natasha was nice, and also a badass like Peggy. That's what she reminded him of- Peggy. But no one even came close to being like Bucky. He was so happy SHIELD were still hunting down HYDRA and shocked that they still existed, but  it was a great opportunity to 'accidentally find' Bucky.

And Lo and behold. After 4 years they found him. There was a small fight of course where they had to undoubtedly knock some Bucky back into Barnes. "Steve?" *DONK* but he recovered. Cognitive recalibration really worked; he would have to thank Natasha later for the suggestion. Tony gave him his own room, right next to Steve's, of course and in their, they sat and they talked. They talked a lot,

Bucky was remembering and when he did Steve would confirm or deny and fill in the blanks (as best he could) he recommended a journal to his wayward friend to write any memories (Steve had done this years prior,under his bed where no-one ever checked)

"Steve?" Bucky. Steve snapped back to reality, Bucky had always been good at that. His face was scrunched up his nose wrinkling in that undoubtedly cute way, he was thinking again!
"Yeah buck?" He turned to his friend in excitement ready to find another memory. "Why do I see you in Hydra with me? Your decked out in HYDRA gear with a mask like mine...and someone..skull is calling you..Captain?" When Bucky tuned out of the memories he looked to-
Steve was silent head hung low, eyes screwed up, curling in on himself. Almost exactly like him when reliving a horrible memory he wished was false and what was worse was he was not meeting his eyes. Little did he know Steve was mentally cursing, berating himself for his weakness. He thought his secret was safe forever! with no one to have been there, but Of course Bucky would know!! Of all the people he for- NO HE WOULD NOT FORGET BUCKY AGAIN!
NOT AGAIN NEVER AGAIN
Do not forget Bucky
DO NOT forget Bucky
DO NOT FORGET Bucky
DO NOT FORGET BUCKY!
....not again

"Steve? you're shaking, What is it? Talk to me please punk" Bucky was desperate to get him out of whatever this was. "Please Stevie" so he took a deep breath, unscrewed his eyes and his posture, he lifted his head sighing.
"You remember right Buck, I was- I"
Steve exhaled shakily, trying and failing to hide whimpers and full body shivers , trying to keep to the job at hand: Bucky and not fall into another memory trap or several panic attacks Ignoring Bucky's worried face he plundered on.

"I was Captain Hydra. I was captured along with you, you got brainwashed and fought me, they told me things, made me do stuff I think I did a mission with you? Once? twice? I can't remember!

Steve's fists clenched in his lap Bucky's flesh hand was on his back grounding him trying to help. Steve exhaled again but his voice still came out strained. "I escaped in 1982 remembered right on a mission, crashed the jet I was on."

Tears began to gather in Steve's already blue eyes, he turned away from his friend-if they still were. No! No Bucky would never-could never see him as anything else now-
A monster.

"I'm sorry Bucky im sorry I didn't go back for you I should have! I'm ill qualified to help you with memories when I can't even remember my own." He was full on sobbing now, crumbling like a broken pastry "I'm sorry Bucky" he wailed "I'm so sorry."

Bucky was astounded his punk, hydra had, to HIS PUNK he uncurled the fist his metal hand had become and slung the arm around his Stevie, pulling him flush into his chest hard, the punk was gripping onto his shirt tightly like an animal and sniffing and god! did that make him want to destroy hydra more. "Stevie, why didn't you go to anyone for help?" Steve broke out in alarm gripping tightly onto Bucky "they don't know," he wailed. "I said I crashed in 1945. I don't want them to know. Buck please don't tell them please, I beg you!"

"Hey Stevie shh it's alright it's ok punk I won't I promise, it's ok"
"ITS NOT!" Steve gripped impossibly tighter onto him "but maybe I can get better? With you, tell the team...eventually? Maybe never"

At this Steve could feel Bucky's eyebrows raise, could remember the condescending tone from the 40's always smothered with affection "now now Steve!" He'd say "you know you'll have to face it 'some time" a watery smile emerged onto his face as he turned his head to meet Bucky eye to eye, cutting off what was obviously going to be a reprise of that "Thanks Buck, till the end of the line"

Steve bristled himself as soon as the words left him, stupid! That was their code for 'I love you' and of course he wouldn't want to hear that now, might not even remember! But then
Bucky's eyes shined and his easy suave smile returned and for a split second Steve found it hard to believe they weren't back in Brooklyn. "I love you too punk"

"So how have you covered for al this?" He asked incredulously. Steve bit his bottom lip contemplatively playing with his hands. "I um was stuck in ice for 70 years" he mumbled. Bucky raised an eyebrow "sorry what was that? Didn't hear ya!" although logically Steve's brain told him that if Buck had super hearing with the serum he couldn't not hear! but he felt doomed to repeat it. "I was stuck in ice for 70 yrs after I crashed the Valkyrie" his face getting redder by the second at the ridiculous story that had somehow been believed all this time. Bucky shook his head good naturedly a smile tugging at his lips. But Steve dogged determined kept going. It was like he was possessed with the truth out in the open he couldn't stop, freedom. The truth and it was all coming out, in a rush like a waterfall finally unclogged. "That's why I don't know any 21st century knowledge neither cos I was a, Tony calls it a, Capsicle and not cos I was in hydra for 70 yrs and I gave my freedom up to save you and I failed and left you there and I'm so sorry I didn't even-

Bucky kissed him to shut him up- it was effective. 😏
"ok Punk, ok"

Sorry it's been so long got a lot on my plate consider this a Christmas gift.