Up a creek with only a Porg (oneshot)

Oneshot

AN:
Harry: "You cannot get a bouncy castle into this type of story,"
Vala: "Hold my beer."

Up the creek with only a Porg

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!" Phasma jolted out of her bed at the girlish scream, grabbed the nearest thing she could find as a weapon, which ended up being a Hula girl lamp she'd received as a gag gift and sprinted out of her room only to come face to face with her roommate, Hux, brandishing a frying pan and a knocked out giant Porg on the apartment floor.

"What is going on here?!" Phasma asked incredulously. She was still too hungover and half asleep for this nonsense. "Hux what the hell are you doing?!"

"Me?! It's this thing that came at me!" The ginger exclaimed, not releasing the frying pan.

"That THING is Kylo," Phasma sighed as she felt her migraine return. There was a low groan from the giant downed Porg and both looked towards it to see it wiggle slightly. "It's much too early for this," Phasma groaned before walking over to Kylo and grabbing his legs. She then looked at Hux "Well are you helping me or not? I had to drag his drunk ass back alone yesterday,"

Slowly Hux put down the frying pan on the kitchen island, casting a suspicious look at the downed Porg before grabbing the wings or flippers or whatever the hell they were called. The two of them managed to lift Kylo's bulk and proceeded to place him on the couch again. It was then that Phasma noticed just which frying pan Hux had used. "Not my good cast iron pan!" She shouted in disbelief and dropped Kylo's lower-half while Hux still had a grip on the upper-half, which sagged. The redhead grunted and proceeded to toss Kylo on the couch only for the costume, that the man was apparently in, to be too bulky, causing him to roll back onto the living room floor with a 'thud'.

Phasma was obviously more concerned about the possible dent Hux had put into the frying pan than Kylo's possible concussion. The overly large Porg costume gave Hux pause as he looked at Phasma before asking "Soooo.... How did this happen?" He poked the feathery belly with his shoe causing Kylo to kick him with an orange webbed-toe foot in what seemed to be a reflex. The man was still out like a light.

Hux walked up to Phasma who had taken a seat at the island counter. She really did look worse for wear this early in the morning and mumbled something along the lines of 'stupid fig leaf'. He then heard her say "It's a really long story but I need some of your special hangover medicine. You know, the one you made after we visited O'Malley's pub."

"That bad?" Hux asked with a raised brow.

"I woke up to your girlish scream, saw my friend knocked out, my frying pan has a dent and I feel like a heard of Rancors just stampeded through my head. Yes, it's that bad!" Phasma grumbled. "If you want to know what the hell happened last night I'll need it."

"If I have to make it then you can't watch," Hux told her.

"I'm not going to steal your recipe!" Phasma muttered as her head hit the counter.

"Oh, I'm not worried about stealing. I'm worried I have to clean up your puke once you find out what goes in it." Hux stated before shooing her away. "Go wash up or something. I'll make one for Ren as well."

"Leave him to his misery!" Phasma yelled as she made her way back to her room. "He deserves everything he gets after what he put me through! I can never look at a pair of Go-Go boots the same again!"

The giant Porg was still prone on the floor as Hux was busy getting several ingredients. There was yogurt, chocolate, tomatoes, cucumbers, peaches, broccoli, and a lemon on the counter. He wasn't kidding when he said Phasma would puke if she saw what went in it. He himself had stopped drinking it once his mother had shown him the recipe. Hux popped open the blender and started adding the ingredients to it. When Phasma came back, this time with her hair a bit damp and a towel hung over her shoulder, she was given a cup of brown sludge. The blonde made a face but then proceeded to down the concoction in one gulp.