Confessions of an Ex-Death-Eater

Friday 21st December 2007

'You're not a coward, Draco,' he murmured to the blond man's back. Draco halted slightly in the doorway before proceeding on his way to find Teddy. 'And I'm not a girl, so I don't need courting.'

The thing was, Harry thought, there were no doubts that Draco was right about some of what he'd said. Mione had said it too: that stuff about stopping living, losing the glint from his eye, getting old too quickly or something. What did he have in life outside Teddy and work? What was going to happen when Teddy went to Hogwarts? It was only another year and half away. Then what? Who'd he got outside Ron and Mione, and Gin, he couldn't count the odd social function with Nev and Hannah or Luna or Dean and Seamus. He couldn't really rely on Ron and Mione all the time, as much as he loved them and Rose, he knew he was third wheel. They supported each other. And Gin? Was it really right for him to be hanging on to his ex, even as a gay man? She had her own life and there was the recent news that she and Oliver Wood, of all people, had got together. The six-year age gap which seemed so vast at school had diminished into nothing on the Quidditch pitch and, as they worked seasons together, their relationship was a lot more on an even keel than it could be with anyone outside the professional world of Quidditch.

She'd come over to the house. Of course, she had. Both her and Mione had rallied when Harry hadn't turned up for his routine cup of tea on Thursday. And both women had sat with him on Thursday night over a bottle of wine and listened to his woes. But they had their own lives, he really couldn't keep asking of them all the time and in that sense, Draco was more than right, he needed someone who was on an equal footing to himself so they could share their emotional burdens as well as support each other. He needed to sort this out himself.

When Teddy burst into the sitting room clutching an overnight bag and his drawing things, he dropped his stuff and threw himself at Harry to give him a hug.

'Thanks, Dar. For letting me go to see Scorp. And sorry.'

Harry held him tightly, he felt the tears pricking at his eyes. 'You don't need to apologise,' he said as he stroked the boy's white-blond hair. 'It's my fault and I'm sorry.'

'No, Dar. Mr Malfoy explained and I shouldn't of taken it out on you anyways.'

'Shh, Ted! Now, you just go and have a good time. Be good for Narcissa and I'll see you in the morning.'

'Dar! Of course I'm gonna be good, I always am!'

'Sure! Say hello to Scamp for me.'

'Dar?'

'Yes.'

'Love you!'

'Love you too, to the moon...'

'...and back.' Ted gave him a kiss and went to Draco to take his hand.

'I'll be back in half-an-hour, get ready!' Draco said with a smile.

Teddy gave Harry a small smile, waved goodbye, and they stepped into the Floo together with Teddy giving a joyful shout of 'Malfoy Manor!'

True to his word, Draco arrived back exactly half-an-hour later. This time the sitting room was lit properly and the curtains were shutting out the night. He was in the kitchen, waiting, when Harry was walking in wearing said chosen outfit, and fully ready, bar slipping on his watch and signet ring.

Draco practically growled and approached him. He reached out and pushed back a lock of Harry's hair which had fallen forwards and Harry's insides did the Funny Little Flip-Thing again. He'd almost missed feeling it.

'You look ... very handsome,' Draco muttered.

Harry thought that Draco didn't look so bad himself in smart black trousers and his pale-blue cashmere jumper which he wore under his grey wool winter coat. He wore a soft navy scarf wrapped around his neck which served to accentuate his pale skin and his angled jaw line.

'Have you got your coat? I think we ought to go before that strange head-thing tries to do any more analysis on me.'

'Ah, you've met Anthony!' Harry had brought him home for the Christmas break. For some reason he felt a profound guilt about keeping the porcelain head locked up on its own in his dark office for nearly three weeks.

'It's called Anthony?'

'Yes, Anthony Head.'

'I still stand by the logic that my name is most unsatisfactory, Professor,' Anthony muttered.

Harry smiled and turned to look at the head that was on the shelf next to the tea caddy, 'I thought we agreed it was most appropriate because it means "Priceless One".'

'Don't try to flatter me with falsity! I know full well that you named me after that actor from Buffy the Vampire Slayer.'

'Yes, well, it's an excellent series and Giles was from the Council of Watchers and incredibly benevolent. He's a most suitable person for you to be named after. Plus, I find it amusing. Now, I hope you didn't give our guest too much grief!'

'I was perfectly civil, professor, just advising him on your propensity for Philoprogenitiveness which inhibits your faculty of Amativeness.'

'I believe Draco is well aware of all that.'

'Yes, well, I did tell you he had an aptness for receiving an education. Sometimes you ought to believe me instead of knocking me off as a pseudoscientist.'

Draco was smirking, much to Harry's discomfort. He said loudly, 'I think we should be going now. Goodnight, Anthony.' He indicated for Draco to leave in front of him and flicked off the light-switch.

'Good night, professor. Enjoy your evening and perhaps you should both just give in to your impulses to propagate, both of you that is...' the voice called from the darkness.

Harry groaned.

Draco said, 'we need to have a serious conversation about the company you keep and who you confide in.' he paused slightly, then added with a smirk, 'Professor!'

Harry harrumphed and muttered, 'wanker!'

As he locked the front door, he felt a hand on the small of his back. 'Would you mind terribly, but I would be obliged if you could Apparate us both to Diagon Alley. There's a lovely little restaurant there which you know about, the one run by my lovely cousin, Luna. I am under the impression you've not yet visited her establishment so I've booked us a table.' Draco raised an eyebrow, almost in disapproval, but Harry grabbed his arm with a huff and whisked them away.

*****