To Love

To Know

Sebastian sighed as he spotted a familiar looking smartphone on the drinking fountain. Not again! Mia had left her phone yet again. Probably when she wasn't taking a drink. Clumsy and forgetful as always. He shook his head, picking it up and running to the classroom. Sure enough, in the far corner, Mia was in her usual spot with a couple of friends, laughing. She seemed to just be searching her pockets, her brow furrowed in confusion.

"Did I leave my ph- Sebastian!" she beamed happily at the sight of him leaning in the doorway, holding up her phone with a look of exasperation. She bounded excitedly to him. "Aw, thanks for finding my stuff as always! I owe you one!"

"If I ever decided to count how many times you owe me, you'd be broke by now," he said, raising his eyebrows.

"Just an expression! I mean, we're friends and all, so maybe I don't owe you anything? Haha, just kidding! Tell me if you need anything!" Mia patted him on the head and skipped back to her friends. Sebastian stared after her, then returned to his seat. His friend, who sat in front of him, noticed and turned around. Grinning, he started talking about the latest stuff. But Sebastian was only half listening.

Yeah, they were just friends. He was completely and utterly friend-zoned, and he knew it. His friends had probed him curiously, teasingly because their daily interactions. You two seem pretty close, are you dating? Don't you like her? Why aren't you going for it?

But things weren't that simple. The fact that he knew her for more than the average amount of years compared to their peers totally did not help in any way. They were very good friends. Close friends. But the closer you are, the harder it was. The more they trusted each other, the less room for "getting to know each other." After all, if you knew someone for years, the less likely to suddenly fall for them when you could see them through. Well, unless you were someone like Sebastian, who had a crush on her from the beginning but only noticed when they were already too close.

He knew so much about her. In fact, he could read almost her every action. He knew how she had this habit of twisting her watch when she was serious and getting ready for action. He knew her heart wasn't into something when she took one breath longer to respond. He knew when she was upset, even as she hid that behind the brightest of smiles that seemed as brittle as glass in his eyes. He knew when she had to take a moment to pick a song on her phone, she was bothered by something. 

There was so much more that he also knew. Her preferred snacks, games, books. Her favorite hobbies. Who she didn't like, even if she didn't admit it. What she was good at, even if she didn't believe it. Darn, even when she woke up and when she slept. Almost sounded like he was a stalker.

And for her, she probably knew similar things. Maybe not as much, but definitely things that a random friend wouldn't know. She definitely knew his favorite things, what he did usually, and such. And for one, she could always tell when he was lying. Which was rather inconvenient. If she ever asked if he liked someone... He already decided that he would shut his mouth and not answer. Even if she took that as a yes, she would never have any clue about who it was as long as he never spoke.

Looking back at her, surrounded with her friends, he wondered how much she ever thought about him.