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chapter song - COFFIN by Jessie Reyez
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There really isn't any reason for me to be as terrified as I am.
Maybe terrified isn't the right word, but, as I shut the car engine off and step out of my car, the sweatiness in my palms speaks volumes. It has been, what? Five years. My hands get even sweatier.
I sigh, stopping at the red light and waiting to cross the street. It's warm today in Toronto. The air is a little thick and humid but the light breeze is luckily cutting through it. I quickly jolt my head and wince a little when I crack, the wince turning sheepish when a teenager beside me looks horrified.
Once I've crossed the road, I take my phone out, trying to squint my eyes against the sun shining back on my phone screen. The cafe doesn't have a very big sign and it's a little inconspicuous, hiding in between two large businesses with tall glass windows. When I finally make it there, I smile. Of course she would pick somewhere like this. Cute and quirky, old bricks and a packed patio full of people chatting. It looks a little strange to have an old townhouse sandwiched in between two glass buildings but I'd learned that a lot of places were like that here a while ago.
The door does a soft little jingle when I open it and the smell of sharp, bitter coffee hits my nose. I breathe it in feverishly as if the smell alone will boost caffeine into my system. My eyes scan the tables and just as I'm about to take my phone out to call her, a pale hand shoots up into the air, and a lightly freckled arm sways back and forth all over the place.
I grin, and stupidly feel myself getting emotional as Tally stands up from the table in the corner and runs up to me, throwing her arms around my neck.
"Oh my god!" she laughs and I grip her back tightly. "Holy crap, it's been a while." When we pull away she grabs at my hands and looks me over. "Oh my god, it's you!"
I laugh and hug her again before I burst out crying.
It had been seven years since we graduated high school together and five years since we had seen each other in person. We tried to figure it out, but Tally got a temporary job overseas which ended up lasting five years, not six months. I didn't have the money to go visit her, and once I'd managed to get a job and settle in Canada, the two of us just never were able to be in the same place at the same time.
We sit down at the table again and I smile gently. "I missed you so much."
"Me too," Tally says. "I can't believe it took us this long to be able to see each other again."
"I know," I say and there's this sad little guilty part of me that says it's my fault for closing off so much to the people around me. But Tally doesn't seem to blame me and I suppose there really wasn't anything we could do back then. What happens now is supposedly more important anyway.
