"I used to style high profiled celebrities, I was touring the world for styling but I gave up that career for the family. You was still able to tour around doing your music, you got to continue your passion but I gave mine up." I close my eyes for a moment. "The point is that I have had to sacrifice a lot more than you have had to. I've had to learn how to be a mother and father at a young age because you were always gone. It's not easy to have three kids by the age of... while your husband is touring the world."
Silence falls.
"For the first time since we had the kids, I have the opportunity to do me. I need to rebuild myself before I can fully let you in, Elgin." I sigh. "I'm not the same woman from before, I'm a woman who now wants to start living. I have the chance to be on my own TV show, build my by business and do whatever the fuck I want. I'm not about to allow anybody to take that from me."
Never again.
---
Flashback to 2002
I sigh as I put Marley down for a nap, his four year old self is so active and I honestly can't keep up. I may be twenty five years old but I also have a two year old and eight month old baby to care for.
Now that all of my kids are sleeping, I can finally take time for myself and lay down on the couch. These past few weeks have been extremely stressful and exhausting since I've been caring for my kids alone. My husband has been touring so I've been taking my children with me to work but it's too much.
I wipe away a lone tear that is making its way down my face as I stare at my wedding picture which is hanging behind the TV. I hear the door unlock and I don't bother to look in his direction as he makes his way into our home.
"The kids are sleeping." I shout before he can think to make noise.
I let out another sigh as Elgin makes his way into the living room. He makes a sound with his mouth as his face scrunches up in confusion as he enters the room.
Why are the beds and cots in here?" He asks as he takes a look at all of his children.
"Since you've been gone, we've been sleeping in the living room." I honestly answer. "I bought new beds but they were too heavy to lift so I set them up in here."
He looks at me in disbelief, "For two months?"
I shake my head, "For the past three weeks."
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"Kim, you crazy as fuck." He shakes his head at me. "How can I be coming back from tour to find out that you have my children sleeping in the living room? What if there was a draft in here? They have bedrooms for a reason."
"Not for long." I pull out the eviction notice that I received a few days ago. "We're going to get evicted."
"Fuck." He snatches the paper out of my hands. "Why the fuck didn't you tell me?"
"Because you never listen to me." I hiss. "Anytime I want to talk, you jump on our own or somebody else's tour."
Over a year ago, Elgin lost both of his parents and he has not been the same since. It has been a lot harder to communicate with him and he honestly hasn't been the easiest person to be around. He finds his comfort in music so he wrote a song for his parents on his latest album, The Life. He then decided to go on a world tour before I even had the baby.
"I've been sending you money." He glares at me. "Where's the money? In fact, where is YOUR money?"
"Where the fuck do you think?" I pull him out of the living room. "I haven't been able to book as much jobs because it is not easy to travel with two toddlers and a newborn. The money that you give me, goes to your children that you have left me to raise alone."
I try to fight back tears.
"I have been so alone, Elgin." I cross my arms. "You made me move all the way to Atlanta when I'm from California. I don't have no friends or family here so I have nobody to help me with the kids. I ask for your help all the time but you always run away, leaving me with the kids."
"Come here." Elgin pulls me into a hug before pressing his lips against mine. I wrap my arms around his waist, pulling him closer as he deepens the kiss.
We stay wrapped up in eachothers arms for a few minutes until we are interrupted by Kamilla who is standing at the door, rubbing her eyes.
"Mommy?" She opens her eyes and spots her father. "DADDY!"
I smile as she runs over to her father, he picks her up and he gives her the biggest hug which almost makes me cry. Elgin is missing out on his children's lives because of the life that he is choosing to live. I know that I will soon have to give up my styling career and it will hurt to close that chapter of my life.
"Daddy, are you coming to my birthday party?" Kamilla excitedly asks her father who smiles at her.
"You bet I will."
Two weeks later, we were evicted from the house and we were left with nowhere to go while Elgin toured Asia.
