mattia polibio: my boy

savior

💭what... the.... fuck💭

she smiled at you. you just sat there on michaels lap, eyes wide. you looked at michael and he just smiled. 

michael: only if you want

he said shrugging.

y/n: i- uh, i've never-

nikki: we know. which is why we got you. it'll help with all the painnn and heartbreak you're going through baybeee

y/n: well, what is it?

gael: heroin

shittt

gael: i say you try it once and if you don't like it you don't have to do it again

y/n: did michael tell you guys?

jordan: duh

you heard something about not sharing needles. you were scared. you held tightly onto michaels hand. he laughed.

michael: so do you want to or no? you don't have to if you don't want to. but just saying it feels good.

you hesitated with your answer. should you? should you not? man, fuck it. 

y/n: sure.

nikki: alrighttt. lesss get it.

you watched them mix the water and lemon juice with the powder in the spoon. michael grabbed a lighter out his pocket and heated the spoon from the bottom. you couldn't believe you were going to do this. sooner or later it was in the needle and nikki grabbed your arm. shit shit shit. 

nikki: girl stop shaking

she said. everyone laughed. you felt like crying. she injected it into you. 

very soon, you felt euphoria. your breath shortened, your mouth got dry. you were floating. golden light streaked into michael's room and you were in heaven. you felt safe, and warm. you smiled. you lay in michaels lap and looked up at him. he was smoking something. he looked down at you and laughed. you laughed back. your body felt heavy. your head lolled back. and for once, finally, nothing mattered. the thought of your parents, social media, and mattia went out the door. 

nothing

fucking

mattered

except this feeling. your body was heavy. you hadn't noticed, but your head was nodding. it was such a blissful feeling. pure bliss. life was good. you were humming a song. 

it was the song you and mattia listened to in his room, when you started to realize you were starting to fall in love with mattia polibio. 

but you didn't care about anything right now except this moment. the light on your face made you feel like an angel. michael caressed your face. since when were you laying down? you looked down and saw your feet in jordans lap, your head in michaels. jordan was laying on the bed. you closed your eyes and savored this moment. 

you were happy. 

so

fucking

happy

and for once, you didn't care to think about what mattia was doing this right very moment. 

all your pain, regrets, sadness, gone. 

then you plummeted to the ground. you were coming down from the high. it was like you were grasping for the feeling. 

grasping for your happiness.

y/n: come back

you mumbled. you were left with this feeling. like your whole body and brain was fried. you felt like sleeping right then and there. it had been an hour.

michael: hi

he said looking down at you. it felt like you could barley open your eyes.

y/n: hi

the feeling of sadness just loomed around you. 

was this what you really wanted? to be with michael... someone you just used as a rebound real quick? you were slowly falling in love with him. but still. were you really going to give up on you and mattia?

michael: how was it?

you felt half dead.

y/n: so good

nikki: oooo bitch wait till you try fentanyl

if it makes you feel like THAT, then so be it. you guys ate food and just hung out. it was fun. they talked about weird gang shit but you didn't care. 

michael later dropped you off. you could barley function because of how tired you were.

mom: are you ok? what happened to your arm?

you looked down at it. since when did you have a band-aid? 

y/n: i got poked by a thorn bush. i'm ok though.

dad: you sure?

y/n: yeah. i'm tired. i'mma go to bed.

mom: ok babe, good night then. love you.

y/n: love you too. 

dad: love you

y/n: you too

y/s/n: night

y/n: night

weird. it was always weird when they said 'love you'. ever since you were little. you didn't know why, it just was. you showered and took the band-aid off. there was a bruise forming from the needle. great. you put a new band-aid on and went to sleep, wanting that feeling again.