"I think I'm in love with you."
Baekhyun's words fell between them as heavy a the silence that followed. Chanyeol's eyes were wide in shock, hipnotized by his words, looking at Baekhyun as if it was his first time seeing him. Baekhyun was close to him, too close, still holding his hands in his own, the warmth now spreading to both of their bodies.
"How do you mean you're... In love with me?"
Baekhyun froze, an instant cold shower pouring over him. Did he read Chanyeol's signs wrong? Was it all in his head, a selfish desire that had just ruined the only thing in his life that he valued more than his own anything else?
But no. No, he didn't. Because when he looked back at Chanyeol's eyes, what he saw was fear. Not disgust or revulsion. It was the same thing that Baekhyun too felt and tried to hide, because he tried to be braver than that.
"When you said the other day how it felt to be in love... Like she was the only person on your mind and you wanted to be with her all the time. Like you noticed every detail on her and your heart raced whenever she touched you... That's what I feel, Chanyeol." Baekhyun whispered out the last words and took Chanyeol's hand, placing it on his own beating heart.
"This is how I feel being close to you." he said and noticed Chanyeol's cheeks redden in a flash.
"Baekhyun..." Chanyeol trailed off, never taking his eyes off Baekhyun's pleading ones.
"I know you feel it too, Yeol-ah. I can see it on you."
"This is wrong." Chanyeol finally said, voice faint. "You and I, we're both men, princes, at that. That's a wrong thing to feel, a sin-"
"But you feel it, don't you?" Baekhyun caught onto that little gleam of hope. "All that doesn't matter right now, Yeol. Just tell me where your heart is."
Baekhyun pleaded inside, he prayed, because if Chanyeol didn't want him the same way, he'd break. It was a point of no return. He heard his own shallow breathing while waiting for Chanyeol to give him something.
"We both know it's not us who decide about that, Baekhyun. You heard what Jongin said." Chanyeol said and Baekhyun could swear it suddenly felt like the strongest punch in the stomach he'd ever received.
"I'm sorry. I can't do this." Chanyeol said and pulled his hands out of Baekhyun's hold. He walked away from him and the ball, heading for the dormitory wing of the castle.
Baekhyun kept standing in the same spot where he lost Chanyeol's touch for God knows how long. However, after a lot of thinking, wrapped by the dark and a chilly summer night, he realised that he wasn't sad. He wasn't heartbroken or angry, because still, no matter what Chanyeol said to him, he could feel it on him. He could sense Chanyeol's fear and how he was holding back, but he couldn't hide his wandering gaze that Baekhyun felt on himself so many times. He couldn't hide his heart racing in the same pace as Baekhyun's or the subtle and not-so-subtle touches.
Baekhyun let his lips barely tug in a smile before he walked back to his room as well, leaving the ball wordlessly and probably a very concerned Hwanwoong.
---
The ride back home was silent. Baekhyun and Chanyeol avoided communication unless it was something along the lines of food or accommodation. Hwanwoong noticed it and joked about the two of them having their eyes on the same girl at the ball, which only made the tension between them worse. Baekhyun however didn't fail to notice the way Chanyeol looked at him when he thought Baekhyun wasn't looking and how he'd quickly retrieve his hand when he'd pass something to Baekhyun.
