How to: Write like an amateur author

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To whom this may concern (if you can be bothered to read this),

It occurred to me that there aren't a lot of editors writing "How to's" on Wattpad.

Particularly, what NOT to do.  

EDITS: Scratch that there are squllions, I just checked.     

Too many times I've perused novels on Wattpad and thought to myself: "This is shit." Even top ranking novels, which are suppose to garner readers for being incredible, do not DESERVE such spots.  

And so let's begin with my list of "How to write like an amateur author."

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