Rant Part 1

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Read this at your own risk. I wrote it while in a dark place. I may upload more if I write more, but for now this is what I have. Originally written on Feb. 11, 2019.

Why are we here? What is our purpose in this cold, cruel world? Life... such a warm gentle thing... Life... such a ruthless painful experience. What is it that we search for? What is it we seek? Why do we exist, and what is our goal? Destiny... fate... God... such shallow flimsy excuses.

Death... cold, unyielding, and precise. Death... salvation, comfort, and relief. What is it that we fear? Why do we choose to fear the inevitable, and cripple ourselves in doing so? Is it not fear that should drive us forward? Should we not fear that which we can understand and use that fear to guide us instead of control us?

Ah... but I digress... This was never meant to become a story. In fact, I expect no one will ever read this, for this is merely meant to be a reflection of my own inner thoughts, emotions, and shortcomings.

This world that we live in... that we dwell upon, is so strange and surreal. This plane of existence we find ourselves in makes me wonder. Is there more? What is it that separates dreams from reality? Fact from Fiction? Thought from substance? What constitutes as thought, and what constitutes as emotion? For while we dwell upon both, do we not see what has become of us?

We are shells. We are shells filled to the brim with thoughts and emotions, but what about soul? What is it that defines us? For beyond all thought and all feelings, what are we? What are we to become when our shell is removed?

Do we drift away? Become something without shape or thought? Perhaps we still remain glued together by some unknown force of being. Perhaps we simply stop being.

What are the ties that bond and connect us all? These invisible strings that draw people together... how are they formed? Are they something that we have forged through trials and hardships in a previous life? Are they made of forgotten promises of the past? Or are they just drawing together people of similar wavelengths, that they may find a kindred spirit?

And for that matter, what is spirit? Spirit and Soul are two separate entities, but how? Why? Is soul what dwells within us to create us as individuals, and spirit the strength of will that ignites our spark of life? Or is spirit something that we create for ourselves after birth? Is soul what we are born with and spirit what we make ourselves into?

For who truly knows all the answers to these questions, which are not meant to be answered or understood... These questions which... perhaps, if the answers were understood, could unravel the very fabric of the universe of reality as we think it?

For we truly do not know what we think we know, there is only what is simply universally understood as fact.

Such strangeness comes from within. These thoughts and emotions of which I can neither see nor touch. By all logic, they do not exist, but again... logic is but an understood factor, not a fact. So perhaps, I, too, do exist elsewhere. My consciousness existing only faintly on this plane while my true self slumbers worlds away...

Does this, in turn, mean that all people are merely wisps of thoughts and emotions whose true souls or spirits dwell elsewhere? Is it, then, these other selves that we have left behind temporarily that provide the connection for these strings of which we cannot see or truly comprehend?

Then why is it that we are here? What has driven our selves into these lives? Was it by choice? Force? Chance? What is it that we are meant to achieve? Are we meant to influence others that we may better them on whatever path they choose? Are we to do whatever we wish, regardless of morals? Perhaps we are simply meant to learn, and think, and reflect upon what we believe we have discovered?

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