Of Death & Virtue

chapter fifteen :: it's me, isn't it?

"Jenny, please," They whisper, and my heart sinks. Drake. I cross my arms over my chest defensively. "Please open the door."

I hunch my shoulders as I stay as quiet as I can. It's better if he just leaves. If he thinks I'm not home. The guilt I feel about the other night causes pangs in my chest and stomach. I don't think I can lie anymore.

My cell phone suddenly begins to ring and vibrate at my feet. I leap at the loud sound and then wince when I see his caller ID on the screen. He knows.

"Jennifer!" He calls out again, banging on the door. "I know you're in there!"

With a sigh, I approach the door. My hand hovers on the doorknob for a minute as I gather the courage. I undo the chain lock and swing the door open.

Drake stands there, his arms braced on the sides of the threshold. His dark hair hangs over his forehead and he looks like he's lost sleep. My guilt only grows as I imagine he's been worried about me.

"I've been calling," he says when I don't offer any pleasantries. "Have you been ignoring me?"

I can't look him in the eye and lie, so I don't. I just don't say anything.

"Is it because I bailed on you?"

"No!" I shake my head, finally meeting his dark gaze. "Of course not."

"Then why?" He looks me over. "What's wrong?"

What should I say? What am I supposed to say? I can't tell him it's because he's working to solve the murders I've committed, or that the night he "bailed," I not only slept with someone else but I killed him too.

"I-It's the Jackson case," I manage to spit out. "It's still bothering me."

Drake's eyes narrow. He doesn't believe me. "It's me, isn't it?"

I start to open my mouth but I stop. I suck in a breath and he closes his eyes. When he opens them, he holds my gaze for a long time. Neither of us speaks. I don't know what to say because I can't lie but there's nothing soothing in my truth. And I think he's afraid of hurting me.

But then his face shifts. His eyes sweep over my mine before settling onto my lips. My chest rises with a sharp intake of air. "Drake," I draw out slowly. A warning. "Don't —"

He doesn't listen. He takes a single, short step in and his lips swoop in and he kisses me. My body instantly relaxes and I reach up, curling my hands around his neck and face. I gently pull him inside the apartment, and he pushes the door shut behind him.

I feel him embrace me, his strong arms around me like a barrier. It's his promise, to protect me and never hurt me. Tears begin to pool behind my closed lids. Please, don't cry now. His hands circle my back, softly massaging me as he kisses me sweetly and passionately.

I never thought this would happen again. I vowed that we would never cross that line. But I can't deny how good it feels to be in his arms. How right it feels. Especially now.

Drake begins to pepper kisses along my cheek and jaw. He whispers into my ear but I don't understand what he says. My heartbeat is too loud.

As he continues to shower me with kisses, I run my hands down his sides. "Drake," I whisper back. "I want you."

He pulls back and cups my face in his hands. "You sure?"

The moment I nod, he hooks his hands under me and lifts me into his arms. I let out a surprised laugh. He carries me into the bedroom and places me down on the bed.

For a second, he stands there staring at the bed. My heart leaps into my throat. "What is it?" I ask nervously.

He shakes his head. "I don't know. Did you get new bedding?"