cherry cigarettes [k.th]

one

i had been extremely tired today. i stayed up all night last night, revising an assignment that was due in three days. i liked to be early with things just in case the deadline changed. of course, that never really happened but its still good to have things ready earlier then theyre supposed to be turned in.

i walked out of my last class of the day, and went to my locker, dumping the contents of my bag out into the metal space. my eyes drooped closed for a moment and before i knew it, my head had banged into the door of my locker. i quickly straightened myself up, hoping that no one had seen that.

i grabbed the things i needed to complete the homework for this weekend and closed my locker, rushing out of the school.

i bumped into someone, causing them to drop their bag and me to drop mine. "a-ah! sorry!" i said quickly as i grabbed the bag closest to me and rushed home.

i walked into my door, and sat down on my couch. im so awkward. i thought to myself as i switched the tv on and began flipping through the channels.

there was nothing good on so i decided i would start on my english essay. i reached for my bag but then realized that it wasn't mine. i was a couple seconds away from having a mini panic attack when my phone started ringing.

i looked over at the caller id and made a little noise that was something like a sigh. i didnt recognize the number and it might've been a scam, so i just didnt answer.

i looked back at the bag, seeing if it had a name anywhere on it and sighed again when my phone began ringing; it was the same number as last time.

i reached out to grab the device and slid my thumb up on the green phone button. i put the phone up to my ear and spoke gently.

"hello?"

"hey..uh..i think you took my bag when you bumped into me earlier.." the voice on the other line had belonged to the boy i bumped into when i left school.

"oh!" i let out an awkward laugh and continued. "i can bring it back to you tomorrow. do you wanna meet up somewhere?"

"i- uh..yeah..i mean okay! lets meet at that little cafe near school." he said, and he seemed just as awkward as me which made me crack a small smile.

"alright then, how about we meet at one? does that sound okay?"

"yeah, sounds fine. uh..bye-"

"wait, before you go, i have a question."

he let out a sigh. "alright, what is it?"

"i- uh..sorry..you seem like im bothering you, so ill see you tomorrow..bye.." i pulled the phone away from my ear and hung up, then walked into my bathroom and stared at my reflection in the mirror.

youre despicable. nobody wants you.

"i know."

why did you think that this boy would want to meet with you?

"i dont know. i just hoped that maybe i would make a friend." i watched my reflection speak and the voice in my head spoke once more.

no one would ever want to be friends with someone like you.

"i know." and with that last word, i walked into my bedroom and lied down, staring at the cieling for what felt like hours and then finally falling asleep.

sorry this chapter was so short. the next one will be longer. also, if youre confused, the “person” she was speaking to at the end was her conscience. she constantly degrades herself because she thinks she isnt enough. sorry if this theme is a bit mature for you, but i marked this book as mature for a reason!! dont read it if you cant handle the topics that are spoke about.

anyway, thats all. ill see you cuties in the next chapter ;)