Rats. //Richie X Eddie oneshots

{1/2}{Camping}{1/2}

I go up to the counter as Eddie standing there eating his pie waiting for me. 'What did you grab?' I answer putting my basket up. 'Food, pump 4 as well.' The cashier nods. 'Getting lucky?' Eddie looks overseeing two boxes of condoms going through, I shake my head. 'Nope! My friends asked me to grab them for them.' Eddie looks at me confused. 'I thought it was only Bev?' I shh him paying for all the stuff and grabbing the 3 bags.

Eddie grabs the L condoms from the bag putting them in his pocket. 'Your welcome.' I nod walking to the van. 'Thanks.' We get in as I ask. 'Who's driving now?' Stan groans. 'I'll drive, Bill come on.' Bill follows along as they swap around, they start driving as I pack everything away, I laugh. 'Bev, here's your amazingggg condoms.' Ben chokes as Beverly caught them. 'Thank Rich, get some for you and Eddie?' I nod quickly. 'Yep! Gonna bang all night long!' I grab my little LED light controller thing...yes MTV, I pimped my ride myself. and set it to a red and wink at Eddie, he gags. 'Ew, dude! And the fact you actually.-' I quickly cover his mouth before he can say anything, I feel his warm tongue against my palm as I sigh. 'You do know I haven't washed my hand since...god I don't remember.' He quickly gags and starts slapping my hand, I let go of him laughing as he punches my arm. 'Fuck you asshole!' 

I laugh. 'Eds I was joking!' He sits in the corner. 'I'm sorry Bev, do you hear something?' Ben whispers something to Bev as she quickly nods. 'Yeah, they really should.' I nod. 'Yes I know, Eddie should get over it and just have sexy times with me.' Eddie just shakes his head disgusted, I groan sitting down next to him. 'Stop being mad at me Eds!' Stan says confused. 'Why do you only care when Eddies mad at you? I once didn't talk to you for a week and you came to me at a group hang out and asked if you thought Eddie was mad at you.' 

Ben nods. 'Yeah! I've noticed that!' Beverly smirks at me as I get a message

{Beverly
You should 100% like try and hit on Eddie.}

I roll my eyes placing my phone down, I place my hand down on my thigh. 'So! You guys want to watch a movie or something?' They all nod as I get up jumping on the big bed. 'Come on.' Eddie quickly jumps on the bed next to me then Ben and Beverly jump on but start cuddling. I grab a horror movie quickly putting it on the TV, I don't think you understand the amount I worked just to make this van as good as I wanted. I lay back as Eddie comes next to me, he whispers. 'What's wrong?'

I shrug. 'I don't know...I want a partner?' Eddie nods. 'You have a goldfish.' I laugh a little bit as he asks. 'Why didn't you just say girlfriend?' I stumble on my words. 'No reason!' I get up. 'So! Gotta piss!' I run into the little tiny toilet which is just a toilet, I sit down getting a message.

Edwardo

Edwardo
Hey, I just wanted to say as ur 100% gay best friend I'll always accept you no matter what, but I won't like any of ur boyfriends or girlfriends xx

Richie
Thanks, wanna come "talk" in the toilet(;

Edwardo
Ur so lucky I'm worried about u.

I unlock the door as he comes in. 'So, Rich...are you?' I nod looking off. 'Yeah, bi to be exact...but like 80 to 20? Men being 80...' He nods. 'Anyone else knows?' I nod. 'Beverly, a couple of months ago when I got drunk and she took me back with her and I cried to her about this really cute guy.' Eddie asks. 'Who's the guy?' I shrug. 'No one.' Eddie...

He groans. 'Dude you can tell me.' I say a little upset. 'Eddie it's.-' 'Stop having sex we're here.' I quickly walk out. 'Fuck yeah! Ok so...big mike here?' Eddie whispers. 'Is it Mike?' I shake my head quickly. 'God no! As I wouldn't doubt Mikey boy is hung like a horse, no thank you. Silent type? no-no.' 

Eddie nods. 'Are they in our friend group?' I shrug. 'Yeah?' We walk out of the van as Mike smiles. 'Set it all up! You're lazy.' Eddie hums. 'I gotta go piss I'll be right back.' I nod walking off to the little fire pit thing, Bev sits next to me asking. 'So, what were you and Eddie doing in the toilet?' I answer. 'I came out to him.' Stan chokes. 'Came out? Wait so you're gay?' 

I go to stand up as I get squirted by something behind me, I turn around completely soaked to see Eddie standing there grinning ear to ear with a water gun, I stand up. 'Eds!' I rush up to him picking him up. 'You're dead!' He starts squirming. 'Wait no! No! I didn't! It was Bev's idea!' I laughed walking over to the river. 'Not important.' Eddie slaps my shoulders. 'Please no! I'll do anything please!' Beverly laughs getting up. 'I'll just take...' She grabs his phone out of his back pocket as Eddie quickly says on the spot. 'Dude I have your condoms in my pocket! Do you want them wet?' I shrug holding him with one arm grabbing them out. 'What else you got?' 

Eddie groans. 'Richard Wentworth Fern Tozier. I will call your mum.' I laugh standing at the lake. 'She's probably going into labour good luck swimming.' I chuck him in as he comes out soaking wet. 'I hate you so much.' He sits down dripping wet as I sigh. 'Eds.' He doesn't even react, Beverly hums. 'He seems pretty pissed.' Mike stumbles. 'So uh! Richie! Want to help me light the fire?' 

I nod quickly. 'Yeah just let me change my shirt quickly.' Mike shakes his head. 'Just help.' I roll my eyes. 'Fine.' I take my shirt off just cause it feels gross against my skin, I walk over to Mike. 'What?' He hums. 'Here just place these down.' I nod loading them up stacking them. 'Tada!' I quickly light it up with my lighter and a piece of paper. 'Thank god for smoking.' I turn around. 'Eds.' He just looks off talking to Beverly. 

I roll my eyes kicking his foot. 'Eddie spaghetti.' He doesn't listen, I give up walking into the van grabbing a towel, I walk back out sitting next to Eddie. 'Eddie I swear to god if you don't stop me I will marry your mother and become your stepdad and make you talk to me.' He laughs a little. 'God, you're a child.' I smile chucking the towel at him. 'Thank you.' He rolls his eyes drying his hair. 'I hate you though.' I move closer. 'Love you too Eddie bear.' I go to pinch his cheek as he slaps my hand. 

I hum. 'Oh! What's for dinner! I can make pizza?' Bev nods. 'Make it!' Eddie chirps. 'I'll come with! I know how to make them!' Bev chucks something at me. 'Be protected.' I look down at my condom packet. 'Right.' I walk in with Eddie grabbing the cheese. 'So...Rich?' I nod turning to him. 'Yeah?' He shrugs. 'You surprisingly have a really good body.' I jump. 'Thanks Eds.'