The Yellow Car (Inspired by SharDon)

Chapter 9- Losing Grip

Donny's POV

My grip on the steering wheel got tighter. I was trying to suppressed my anger. Damn she loves him so much!

As I was observing her earlier during lunch, she couldn't restrain herself from looking at Ricci. She seemed so strong and unaffected by the situation so I tested her temper on how she can go on pretending. And I was darn right, she was deeply hurt and there is nothing I could do about it. 

Di ko maiwasang masaktan ng makita kong umiiyak sya. Parang dinurdurog din ang puso ko. 

Anong dahilan ni Ricci para gawin ito sa babaeng mahal nya. I know there is a reason, and I will soon find out.

 Ginawa ko na din ang una ko ng ginawa mula ng dalin ko sya sa bahay ko. Ang magpanggap. Nung una akala ko ginagawa ko yun para kay Ricci, para sa Bestfriend ko. But the truth is, I was doing it for myself. I enjoyed the act. I enjoyed having her hands filling the gaps on my fingers. Her smell lingering on my nostrils.

I enjoyed every bit of today though I know this could be the last. 

My dream of having her near came true today. Though it was just a disguise.

I should be contented with that. Pero may kung ano sa puso ko na lalong naghahangad na makasama sya muli. Di nga lang tama. Mali nga lang ang pagkakataon.

Ako ba ang mali? Ang tadhana? Ang pagkakataon? Ang desisyon? 

Di ko alam. basta masakit!

I arrived at my Lala mama's place at 2pm, I need at least an hour nap. Pagod na pagod ang isip at katawan ko.  When I finally halt down at our parking space I found Ricci. Standing at his car waiting for me.

He isn't finished yet.

I sigh a deep breath. Here comes the hurricane.

"Nahatid ko na ng safe" agad kong sabi pagkababang-pagkababa ko ng sasakyan.

"Di mo na kailangan sabihin. Tapos na din yun damage na nagawa mo" Sarkatisko namang tugon nito.

"Damage? What damage?" I raised my brow in pure annoyance.

"You know you're action made it more complicated now..."

He looked down. Nagsisisi na ba to sa desisyon nya?

"I love her so much! And I think she was the only right thing that happened in my life..but I let go of her"

Di nya napigilan ni Ricci ang sarili. Sabi ko na, di nya gusto ang ginawa nya. 

I still dont get it. Why'd he has to do that?

"So how long this act of your's last? Have you seen how broken she was last night?" I made sure he would feel the disgust on my tone.

"I think I need a drink!" Dali daling lumakad ito papunta sa bar area ng bahay namin. Ganito ito kapamilyar sa bahay namin dahil tinuturing ko na din naman syang totoong kapatid. 

Kumuha ito ng alak at walang anu anung tinungga ito. 

I didn't stop him. If he wants drinking buddy today because he realized he was a total jerk, I'll be here to help him ruin his life. That's what friends are for right?

"Do not stare at me like you're telling me that I made a wrong decision coz' I'm ready to break your neck right here and now"

"Really man? Then I'm happy to announce my funeral" sarkastikong sagot ko saka kinuha ang bote sa kamay nya.

"Don't be sarcastic"

"I am sarcastic?then what are you? An asshole?"

I was surprised he didn't say anything. He just listened like he was trying to hold on to his grip. That's a low blow. But there is no way to lessen the pain. Its still pain after all. It would hurt your innermost being until you can't control it anymore and then explode.

Di ko na maintindihan ang nararamdaman ko. Somehow I feel guilty. Nasasaktan din ang bestfriend ko sa desisyon nya pero nagawa ko pang isipin ang sariling kapakanan ko. 

"If you can't let her go then don't" 

i felt like the words could make me choke. I don't wanna say that. His gain. My loss. But he is my bestfriend and that is my Cousin. I can't just stand there and wait till they ruined each others lives for this absurd decision.

"This is for the best pal" Sagot pa din nito

Then he raised his glass asking for a toast.

"Best? Paanong best kung nasasaktan ka? Kung nasasaktan mo ang taong mahal mo? Kung masasaktan mo ang taong nagmamahal sayo? This is Bullshit dude"

Yun lang at nawala na ang tinitimpi nitong galit. Galit nya ako at malakas na dumapo ang kamao nya sa mukha ko. Sa pakiramdam ko'y hinihintay ko din ito mula sa kanya. Kailangan nya mailabas ang galit nya a, at kailangan ko din naman magising sa panaginip ko. 

Siguro nga sa aming dalawa, kung nasasaktan ako, mas nasasaktan sya. Ngayon ko lang sya nakitang ganito umiyak. Umiiyak na tila ba wala ng bukas. 

Pagod na napaupo ito sa sahig. Ako ma'y ganun din ang ginawa. Di ako lumaban o bumato kahit isang masakit na salita. Karapatan nya yun dahil mali rin ang mga sinabi ko. I went overboard without thinking what he really feels. 

"Alam mo bakit ko ginagawa to? Akala mo ba gusto ko to? Gago ka kung iniisip mong ganun dude.. GAGO KA!"

"bakit di mo sabihin sakin ang dahilan ng maintindihan ko?"

Tanong ko. Sa pagkakataong ito ay kalmado ko na syang kinakausap.

"Kailangan ko gawin.. kahit kapalit ng sarili kong kaligayahan .. kailangan .."

"bakit di mo pa sabihin!!"

"Pink is dying dude"