Kissing in a Dream

Green Curry and Wolf

He lifted some curry to his lips and I held my breath.

When our eyes met, I blushed. "Do you like it, P?"

"It's delicious."

The pride to surge through me then was strong enough to bring me down. I focused on eating, on making sure I didn't spill food on my shirt.

"Where'd you learn to cook?" Wolf asked.

"My father." I replied. "He's an amazing cook. He runs a food truck in Thailand."

"Awesome."

My phone chimed and Wolf looked up.

I ignored it.

"You probably should get that." Wolf told me.

I looked to see it was and frowned. "It's not important."

"Trouble with your girlfriend?" Wolf looked away to pick up his drink.

"I-I don't have a girlfriend."

"Sure." He pushed from where he was seated and picked up his plate and one of the bowls.

Wolf was angry—I could tell. I turned to watch his muscular back walk away from me until it disappeared behind the wall cutting off the small kitchen alley from the rest of the living room.

I followed with my own plate and the other bowls. "What?" I asked.

"Nothing."

"P'Wolf?" I touched his shoulder and felt him tense.

"Let's finish this assignment." He turned to walk away but I grabbed his arm.

"Something is wrong."

Before he could speak again, my phone rang.

He stared at me then and it was a silent eternity before either of us moved.

The silence as we worked was broken from time to time when we had to discuss something or the buzz of my phone. An hour in, Wolf grabbed my phone angrily, tapped away then dropped it back on the table.

I was stunned so I grabbed it to see what he'd done.

He's naked. With me. Stop messaging.

"P'Wolf!" I cried, trying to recall the message before it was read. But I wasn't fast enough. I could only imagine the horror on Prae's face. "Why would you do that?"

"I told you to answer her." Wolf didn't look up. "You refused. If she's not your girlfriend, she shouldn't mind."

Instead of going away, Prae called.

I didn't have the nerve to answer. What would I say to her? She believed I was with someone else. Sure, I wasn't interested in her in that way.

She hung up and called back.

"Do you want me to talk to her?" Wolf offered, flipping through the pages of his textbook.

I answered the phone and walked from the room to lock myself in the bathroom. "Why are you calling me?"

"How can you be with someone else?" She demanded. "I love you."

"What?" I blinked. "You don't love me."

"Yes, I do."

"Prae, don't call me again." I told her.

I hung up and closed my eyes. How did that even happen? She didn't love me. We hadn't even gone out on a date and we weren't about to.

The last thing I wanted to do was be harsh but, Prae wasn't my type.

When I went back to Wolf was gone. He'd packed up and left and my heart broke. I grabbed my phone and keys and darted from my apartment. By the time I made it downstairs, Wolf was slowly disappearing into the dark at the edge of the lot.

"Wolf!"

He didn't stop.

I ran faster until I could catch his shirt in my grip. "Why are you leaving? We aren't done."

"You aren't focused." He snapped. "I have other things I should be doing."

"I don't have a girlfriend. Prae is this girl I gave my LINE to who thinks she's in love with me."

"That's what a girlfriend is."

"No, she's only a girlfriend if I felt the same way." I grunted. "Why are you so angry? You don't even like me! We're working on this project and then you'll be on your way so don't even try telling me this is about—"

He slammed his lips on mine. I didn't even realize he was moving until his tongue brushed my lips. Unable to stop myself, I spread my lips for him and moaned as his tongue touched mine. I melted into his chest as my knees gave out under me. But Wolf wouldn't let me fall. He wrapped his arms around back to keep me standing even as he kissed me deeper.

A little voice in the back of my head told me to stop. It told me this wasn't normal, that two men could never do something like this. I couldn't stop. This was my first kiss and I didn't think I would know what to do but as he drank from my mouth, my body took over.

Wolf pulled back and released me. My eyes remained closed as I swayed on my feet, my lips tingled and every part of my body stood at attention, wanting him.

"Wha...." I couldn't breathe. "I need to lie down."

"I know you have someone." Wolf told me, his eyes burning a hole into my core. "If you don't want this to happen again, we should meet at the library from now on. We cannot be alone--ever."

"But it can't happen again. We're both...well...you know?"

"Fan dii." His voice cracked.

What did that little break in his voice mean? 

Wolf shoved a hand into his pocket, slung his backpack over one shoulder and disappeared into the darkness.

Weak, I stumbled back to my apartment and fell onto my back on the sofa. My lips were swollen from his on mine. They tingled hotly, sweetly.

The memory of his mouth on mine left every part of my body on fire and I was even more confused about all of it. I'd never been attracted to a man before. For that matter, I was never attracted to a woman either.

I hadn't really thought about it.

Over the years, the moments I should have been going out and meeting people, I spent my time buried up to my eyeballs in books. I couldn't remain poor. I couldn't be a nobody all my life. I had no time for the trivial things.

But now, I had no attraction to Prae and Wolf was doing things to my body which left me feeling as though I'd go crazy if I didn't accept.

Wolf burned me. And no matter what I'd said to him after the kiss, no matter how being with him terrified me--I wanted more.