The Paper Kingdom

Chapter V: Kindness and the Scarf

"Are you okay?" he chuckled, which annoyed the crap out of me. He reached over to the side table and grabbed the thin white cloth. I wrapped it around my neck and decided not to mention why I needed it so much. Instead, I had another burning question. "Why are you being so nice?"

"Oh," he mumbled sleepily. "Was I not nice before?"

His response baffled me. "No."

"Well, why aren't you being so quiet? Or annoying?"

Without meaning to, my voice dropped to a whisper. "Am I really annoying?"

His jaw clenched. "No, I meant that--" Cutting him off, Frank shifted in his sleep and his eyes fluttered open.

"Why good morning," he murmured, half-awake. Gerard smiled over at him.

"Hey, Frank, I have my study group at Pete's house today, can I get a ride over when we leave?" I asked.

"Who's Pete?" he asked, more alert but groggy all the same.

"You've met him like six times." He didn't answer. "The one with the eyeliner."

"Oh, Pete. Sure."

Gerard kept looking back and forth between us, brows knitted as if something about my eyeliner-enhanced friend was concerning. He didn't say something if there was, though. He just simply got up and asked if we wanted coffee.

Before long, Mikey and Ray had joined the early morning festivities--if you could even call it morning. It was noon when the five of us had sat down to replenish their caffeine needs. Gerard poured something from a flask into his steaming mug, which we all frowned at.

"In the morning? Really?" Mikey interrogated.

"Shut up. It tastes good," said his brother. No one said a word. "So this album... what are we going to name it?"

"Beats me," said Ray. "You're the man with the plan, Gerard."

Before he could protest, Frank interjected. "Yeah, when I joined the band, you said you had everything figured out."

"I know I said that! Would you just fucking understand that I don't know what to name the fucking album?!" Gerard snapped.

"Why don't you stop being so temperamental? Jesus Christ, Gerard, we try to have a conversation and you just fire off! What the hell? What the hell..."

"Maybe I wouldn't be so fucking stressed if there weren't all these changes! You ever think about that? We needed another guitarist, we got that, and that was hard enough. Then I lost a friend and the drummer. Now we have some pitiful teenager hitting some sticks together to make up for it!" Gerard ran his fingers through his already tangled hair.

"Losing Matt isn't your fault," said Frank. "Listen, we're all trying our best. I knew you'd be mad when I asked Jessie for help, but I thought you might have the decency to overlook it because she's so talented. I guess not."

I didn't dare breathe. Frank grabbed his keys from the counter. "This isn't about Jessie, or Matt, or me. It's about you. We're all trying to organize it. Let's go, Jess."

I silently followed him out the door and into the spring day. He didn't say anything for the whole ride. I told him how to get to Pete's, but that was what our conversation was limited to. A quick thanks and an awkward wave to see him go. I crossed my fingers that he would work things out.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Umm, I don't know." Pete ran his hands through his short hair.

"What's the answer on your page? You wrote one down," I said.

"It's not right," he countered. "This fucking class... I mean, fricking."

I shrugged at his explicit vocabulary and asked him for the answer again. "I got dx over dy equals one over seven times cosine open parentheses seven x plus 5 close parentheses minus six x." I smiled and nodded. "That's it?" he asked, shocked. "Oh, hell yeah!"

I smiled broadly and ignored his swearing. "Pete, you've gotten the last few right, and I know you're smart. Why do you doubt yourself?"

"I don't know, Jess. You just kind of make me nervous." I cocked my head to the side, unsure of what he just told me. "I mean that you're so intelligent and I know that I'll never be as good at math as you. If you get a problem right, I know I'll get it wrong."

"Don't think that way. You've got this. So we've covered limits, the chain, product, and quotient rules, trigonometric functions, detailed graphing, differentiation, and theorems. So that's differential calculus. Now onto integral." I sighed and began turning to my notes, but Pete grabbed my arm. I looked up at him to see a sad smile written across his unshaven face, which made him look much older.

"Jess, we've been at this for hours. How about a break?"

"Dude, it's already five and we have to cover four months' worth of AP calculus. How about you take a break and I finish studying?"

"Well, dude, would you like some pop? Or something to eat?" He walked over to the kitchen, which was attached to the dining room.

"Some water, please. It's kind of hot in here." I fanned myself gently.

"Take off your scarf," he suggested nonchalantly.

"I'm good with just water." My friend looked over and eyed me suspiciously. He set the water down and I gladly took a sip.

He took his seat at the table with me. "Why don't we just hang out for half an hour?" I shook my head. "Don't make this hard." I shook my head again and flipped a few more pages in my notebook. I knew he would give up eventually. He rolled his eyes and hit me on the shoulder. I just pointed to the next problem.

"Come on," he pleaded.

I began to write down the next equation. "You can't quit now." His eyes narrowed and he sighed heavily, knowing I was right.

By the time we were finished, the sun was long past the horizon and the stars were meant to be shining--if it weren't for the city lights. Pete gave me a ride home and kissed me on top of the head, which wasn't uncommon. I was used to it by now. Once inside, I crashed, attempting to get a decent night's sleep before finals week.

A/N

I feel as though I should do author's notes. So here it is.

Not much to say now... except, maybe comment what you think, or even vote if you think it's good? If you want. It would mean a lot :)

Until next time,
Cady xoxo