The Paper Kingdom

Chapter XV: If Looks Could Kill It'd Be A Crime Scene

gerard
Jessie nestled closer into me. She was sitting on my couch by my side, her head now on my chest. I smiled down at her. She was so fucking beautiful. I saw her lean up and her lips met mine, parting, and I readjusted myself to better hold her.

It was a rainy Friday afternoon in August and it was a perfect day for staying inside. Some movie was playing on the TV in my basement, but I hadn't been paying much attention to it. I just wanted to focus on Jessie before Frank and Ray came over for practice.

I heard Mikey coming down the steps and sat upright, breaking the kiss. The lonely bass in the corner of the room distracted me, so I checked my watch. We had another half hour. I glanced in the direction of the stairs and couldn't have done a double take faster. It wasn't my brother. Ray had just entered the room.

"Hey, Gerard, Mikey said you were down here and-what the hell?" He had caught sight of me with my arm around Jessie and his jaw dropped.

I kept looking between Jessie and Ray, both of whom weren't moving. Finally Ray spoke again.

"What's going on here?" he asked cautiously. He took a step back, almost afraid, like he could bolt at any moment if he needed. I took a breath and chuckled nervously. His expression melted from perplexed to understanding. "Sonya."

The name couldn't have been spoken more clearly but I was confused. So was Jessie, apparent in her eyes. "What?" I asked.

Ray took a step closer to us. "There was no girl from Starbuck's, was there? No Sonya?" I realized that he was referring to the night when I asked him for advice. He never really gave it, which I had realized the next time I thought about her. By now, we were both sitting up, separated from each other.

Jessie still looked confused. "Who's Sonya?"

"She doesn't exist," I explained, putting my hand on hers. "I needed advice about, well, you, so I went to Ray. He asked who and I had told him some barista. That was just a name that came to mind." Her eyebrows relaxed, showing relief.

"So, uh," Ray started, now coming to sit down on the couch, "when did this happen?" He waved his hand in our general direction.

We thought for a moment. "Like a month ago," Jessie said and shrugged. "After the first show I played with you." She didn't sound tentative or unsure like I would have, instead coming across as just honest.

My friend nodded slowly. "Does Frank know?" His question was reasonable.

"No," I said. After I observed how he reacted to Jessie's friend wanting to date her and how protective he was of her, I knew that it would be best to keep him in the dark. In the worst case scenario, he would lash out on me or even quit the band. In the best case, it would only make things uncomfortable.

Ray chuckled softly. "Shit, man, what are you gonna do about that?"

I sighed, putting my arm around Jessie again. "I don't know." I began nervously fiddling with the loose string on the couch cushion.

"Frank'll be here soon," she said finally. "We better get set up." She and Ray stood up.

"Wait," I asked, turning to him. "Why did you come so early in the first place?"

"Early?" he asked. "I'm not early at all..." His voice trailed off and he checked his watch. "I have three thirty-five."

My watch read three. I rolled my eyes and breathed, "Whatever." I'd fix it later.

Frank came in not long after, guitar case on back and smile on face. I had long moved away from his cousin. I knew how bad of a friend I was for having a relationship with someone he loved so much and wanted to protect. I felt like shit for it. But Jessie was so goddamn perfect, I knew I would never have an opportunity to be with her or someone as extraordinary as her ever again.