Her // Joe Goldberg (COMPLETED)

9

In you swooped exactly ten minutes later, on the dot. You were out of breath in work clothes, wearing ridiculous sunglasses that took up half of your face. "Sorry" you said with your hands on your knees just trying to catch your breath as Cody and I just looked at you, dazed. Eventually, you looked up at us and smiled. "I wonder what you two have been eating ?" you questioned in a goofy voice because the answer was all over Cody's face. "What's that I see ? Bubblegum, strawberry, chocolate" you began listing as Cody reached into the bag and handed you a rub. "Reese's peanut butter cup" he said excitedly as your smile grew even bigger. "Thank you. I really needed this" you said gratefully before walking off to browse the shelves.

You took the sunglasses off and shook your mane of hair out of the bun to really relax. I noticed you massaging the back of your head as you slowly made your way around the store, it had been a long day and you were going to take your time. You had your own routine now, you began scanning the spines of the books. This was interesting to me, you've only ever scanned the classics but this time you were shopping for yourself, you deserved it.

Where were you going to go ? Jane Austen ? You're educated, you wouldn't have difficulty reading her books. Virginia Wolfe ? A strong female writer and proud feminist. John Greene ? Are you the type to cry at a good book ? Are you looking for a way to let your emotions out ? No one would blame you. Are you looking for the book of a movie adaption ? You stopped at thriller. Who on earth were you going to to buy ? You did the same thing you did the day I met you, you let your fingers preform across the spines, this book was going to choose you. You found one after four minutes of looking and walked up to the counter.

I was still too dazed to notice, I'd always be in a daze as long as I was with you. I couldn't believe you stopped at thriller. "Hello, can I get some service round here" you joked in an exaggerated New York accent so I stood up and walked to serve you. Stephen Kings IT, I wouldn't have said you were pale enough for him but I made the exact same presumption about Beck even though he wasn't the one he choose. "Interesting choice" I said and this time you let me ring you up. "I hate to be that person but I've watched the movie and only now have I decided to read the book" you said cringing at yourself as I just shook my head disapprovingly. You laughed, you found it funny. "I have to go to Scoops after this" you said, your fingers were drumming against the counter.

"Not another ice cream" I said sarcastically through an over-exaggerated sigh as you leant over and swatted me from across the counter. "No. I have to buy Honey some feel better ice cream. Some asshole broke her heart today" you said with your eyebrows raised, I couldn't even look at you. "Im kidding, I don't blame you. She's too full on for her own good" you said through a nod, you weren't bringing up last night, you weren't awkward. "Last night was-it was fun" I commented, I needed to see how you felt about it or how would I ever know ?, you handed me the 12.50 for the book and continued to smile. I could see you trying to remember, your head was titled, you were really smiling until reality hit you like a truck. "Oh no. I honestly don't remember much of it. How embarrassing is that ? Why ? What did I do ? I woke up in the backyard" you explained before covering your mouth as I looked at you in awe. I could listen to you ramble on for an eternity. "Well, you told me about your brothers logic about stars" I said as you sucked in a breath, that hit a nerve.

You for fidgety then, you started twisting your hair into a bun. "I shouldn't have told you that" you said bluntly as I shook my head. "No, it's alright-" I began but you sent a cold, hard stare my way. "I shouldn't have" you said annoyed and I left you be. This was clearly a sensitive topic for you, family would always be. You calmed down after a second and kept trying to piece things together to remember until your whole face dropped.

"Oh-oh god. Oh no. We kissed" you said like you were going to throw the ice cream you'd just devoured up all over the hardwood. You didn't mean it, it was the shock. "We did" I said through a nod as I handed you your book and you nodded back at me. "O-oh god" you whispered while running a hand along your face, you looked like you were going to sob any second, I couldn't help but raise an eyebrow, you do not think I'm that revolting, do you ?. "I've cheated" you said slowly, trying to wrap your head around it as I shook my head. "It was a peck" I said trying to reason with you, trying to stop you from running out and never seeing you again. "Right pecks are harmless, they hardly mean anything" you said trying to assure yourself as you picked your book off the table. You saw our kiss as insignificant, meaningless, a drunken mistake.

I was left standing there like a fool trying to catch a fly in his mouth, you smiled, waved awkwardly and took Cody's hand. You left me speechless but I know you didn't mean it. I know you felt it too, you're just tied to Max right now. You couldn't tell me you enjoyed it, not with Cody sitting a few feet away from us.

I thought my heart was been broken one time too many that day until I got home. I took the picture off the wall connecting me to Max's apartment and observed. You were there, not with Honey, you blew her off. Cody had his head on your lap, he was fast asleep and you were nibbling your white acrylics trying not to cry. I watched you pick up your phone, dial a phone number and wait for it to answer. They didn't, this was inevitable so you left a message. "Max" you said, you had your composure, I was proud of you. "I can't do this" you then cried out, the tears won. "How do I live without you ? Please tell me b-because Len, he's your friend as much as I want to say he's mine and Cody. Cody needs his dad, he wants answers and I don't have them. Please. Please. Come home. I-I'll stop wearing red, I'll eat more salads, I'll sell all three plane tickets, fuck it, I'll even give the bookstores accounts to someone else. Just. Come home. I love you"

Well fuck, I need Max gone.