Her // Joe Goldberg (COMPLETED)

8

I said your name softly and it startled you. "Joe" Cody shouted excited but you stayed on the same position. Your chin was resting on his head and you definitely had nail marks imprinted in your scalp from pressing so hard.

"What going on ?" I asked, trying to keep the calm tone as I cautiously closed the door. "I can't do this" you croaked out, close to tears so I said your name again, this time you heard the concern in my voice so you told Cody to stay where he was and that you'd be back in a second. Both of us went outside the door, you closed it softly but gripped the handle for dear life, yet another way of ensuring his safety. "Max is gone" you whispered with tears in your eyes as I raised an eyebrow. "He texted me telling he was staying with Len but I don't believe that for a second. I have this feeling, this gut feeling Joe, it's a really bad one" you said, you were panicking and had resorted to biting your nails. "I'm sure he's fine" I said bluntly trying to reassure you but I felt guilty, I know where he is but he's a bad person Kelsey, he doesn't deserve any part of you or Cody's lives, he's only ruin them more. You stared at me in silence for a couple of seconds but I could see your lips moving, you were talking to yourself. "I need to find Len" you said instantly as you shoved me out of the way. You were in a stare Kelsey, it was shocking me, I didn't  think a person so positive could be sad, could feel anything other than happiness, but I was wrong.

I met you at the bottom of the stairs and made my way to the kitchen to get a drink. Meanwhile you were tearing through the ground floor trying to find Len. You wanted answers, answers Len didn't have but answers he'd think of on the spot. I watched Nona try and stop you from ruining your house but you didn't care, I watched you on your no luck search and was about to go over but Honey found me. She instantly wrapped her arm around my shoulder and started talking loudly, I couldn't make out what she was saying because her words were slurred but she was talking. "I just think we should just stop the bullshit and admit we have chemistry" she shouted but my eyes were glued to you, I couldn't look away even if I tried.

Honey kept talking and I understood why you cared about her so much. She talked about getting stood up on a tinder date, the date you were consoling her about. She was your friend who craved love and seemed to be jealous of you. She talked about all of the men that want to be with you and how you've only had eyes for Max. She was definitely revealing too much. I took a breath of relief once you realized that Len wasn't actually here. It was all going great until you dragged Nona over to Eddi. "And all Eddi does is make fun of me, especially after my last boyfriend. He was a high school drop out but is a janitor and we went to the yoghurt factory and we didn't even make yoghurt we just watched old men do it and drank vodka after it but he left me for a high school senior" Honey kept talking as I just kept nodding as I poured myself a glass of red wine. Your favorite, I was hoping you'd notice because I don't even like red wine Kelsey but I'd  get to like it.

Eddi was staring right through you, she was high and what you were saying wasn't making sense. I thought everything was still going good but boy was I wrong. That was the calm before the storm because the door swung open and Len walked in. I should've been checking my phone, he texted a group chat with you, him and Max with outfit options and that he'd been there in minutes. I could've stopped this encounter, he walked right into the living room, arms out ready to be met with hugs and praise. I had to leave Honey for a few minutes to see this.

"KJ, where's Max ?" he shouted, his speech was slurred so he was already drunk but he sounded excited. He wrapped his arms around you first but you were so quick to shove him backwards, that seems hard to do the man and Max live in the gym. "Don't you where's Max me, I should be where's Maxing you" you shouted, confusing him, I could see the clogs in his brain turning ever so slowly as he pieced it all together. "Max wasn't with you last night ?" he asked even more confused as you raised an eyebrow. "He told me he was with you" you said with your arms folded as he nodded. "He came over at like four and slept a hangover off on my sofa, I didn't class it as him being with me all night, I thought you two went out" he said even more confused but you shoved him again. "You're lying" you shouted but he just sighed and got himself another drink. He wasn't even in the mood to make up an excuse for Max tonight.

You followed him straight into the kitchen. "Where is he ? It's been like two days" you asked as he sighed again. "Can you back the fuck off ? I'm sure he'll be here" he shouted, you had enough, you didn't even respond, you just grabbed the bottle of vodka on the table and went outside. I didn't even know this house had a backyard, but it did. It was small, it was barely a patch of grass but you were sitting cross legged in the middle of it downing the drink. You saw me but didn't acknowledge me. You just stared at the sky as you patted a patch of grass next to you, so I took a seat.

"I don't know what to tell Cody" you said honestly but you were concentrated on the stars. "What do you mean" I asked as you sighed. "I told you my gut has a bad feeling, there's just something telling me Max isn't coming back. Sometimes he'd leave for weeks at a time and I'd know he'd be coming back, this time, I don't know" you said through a nod. Your mind was preparing you for this outcome, this  was a sign that we should be together. You were starting to doubt him. "But is that such a bad thing ? Cody and I could finally move on. Of course it's a bad thing I love him" you said as you scrunched up your face and handed me the bottle. "Which star are you looking at ?" I asked, just trying to change the subject as you pointed at one. Your arm kept moving around the sky so I didn't actually know which one you were pointing at but you looked so focused I didn't want to stop you. "Do you believe in astrology Joe ?" you asked me, this time you were looking right at me. "Star signs and stuff like that" I asked as you shrugged. "I do but I think your talking about astronomy" I said as you just coughed out the word nerd. "Why, do you believe in astronomy you seem really into the stars ?" I said as you kept looking at me.

"Not at all but when we all got split up before we got adopted, Reece used to tell us to look at the sky and find the brightest star and focus on it. He wasn't messing around, we had to focus on it until it blinded us. He still has this theory that the brighter the star got, the more we were thinking about each-other and it'd mean we'd be back together sooner. It's stupid I know, Reece thinks Justin and I don't remember because we were just babies when we were adopted but he forgets he did it again when he went to juvie. He must've gotten it from Charlie in visitations, it's stupid but I still do it" you explained, like I wasn't some stranger, like I was someone who knew your life story. "That's sweet" I said, handing you back the bottle as you nodded.

All of the alcohol had hit me at that moment and you were just staring at me. I had a flashback to Peach Salinger's party when Beck and I were on the balcony and I regretted not kissing her. I told myself things were going to be different with you and that I wasn't going to make the same mistakes twice so I stared right back at you. There was something there Kelsey. Anyone with half of a brain couldve seen it. So I went for it. I kissed you. A simple peck. And you didn't push me away. You didn't hate it. You felt the connection too. All we needed was Max out of your life and then we could happily be together.