Harry Is Torn

Status Single

"Come on, Harry!" Liam called out about one week later, "Time to hit the road!" 

"I can't." Harry whispered, still laying in the bed they had left him in. 

"Harry," Zayn tried to comfort, "it's been three weeks. You can't stay in bed forever." 

"The hell I can't!" Harry snapped, "You all may have moved on already, but I'm still hurting! You can't expect me to just "hit the road" and not have him on my mind!" 

"Harry," Niall tried to comfort, "we all miss him, but we made tha fans a promise. We told them we would go on tour again once we had some time. We had that time. We had three weeks." 

"That's not enough!" Harry snapped again, "I can't move on that fast!" 

"Harry the fans need to see that if you can move on, they can too." 

"But I can't!" Harry screamed, "I can't move on without Louis!" 

"They need you." Zayn added, "One Direction needs you." 

"There is no One Direction without Louis." Harry sassed. 

"There can be," Liam answered, trying to sound excited, "if you get up and come with us." 

"I picked the name One Direction for the five of us," Harry continued, ignoring Liam, "and without Louis it doesn't make since."

"That's why we need you!" Zayn added, "You named the band, you should be in it." 

"It's just a name." Harry sighed, "I could have picked "Status Single" or something. I doesn't mean anything anymore."

"So we don't mean anything to you anymore?" Niall asked, sounding a little upset. 

"Of course you do." Harry comforted, "But One Direction....it's no more." 

"It can be!" Liam tried again. 

"No, it can't." Harry sighed, "You three can do it without me, but I can't do it without Louis. Every day will get on that stage and he will be the only thing on my mind. I wont be able to focus. I can't put you boys through that. I can't put the fans through that. I can't put my heart through that."

 "But Harry," Niall spoke, trying to help, "we promised that if Louis...you promised that you would still tour."

"I know..." Harry sighed, realizing he had promised, "...but this is the second promise I'm going to break."

"What was the first?" Zayn asked, confused. 

"I promised Louis I would always be there for him." Harry answered, starting to cry, "When I saw him fall I..." his voice started to break, "...then the operation..." he completely broke down, "...then he died in my arms! I can't do it!" 

Harry hid his face in his hands and bawled. 

"Harry..." Liam tried to comfort, sitting on the edge of Harry's bed, "...we will help you through this." 

"You need to put something else on your mind." Zayn agreed, "Touring will help."

Harry shook his head and wiped his hands down his face. He ignored the boys and threw himself under the blankets. 

"Zayn is right." Liam added, "Touring will distract you." 

"Did you not hear me?" Harry sassed from under the covers, "I said if I tour, Louis wil be the only thing on my mind. I will be distracted. Touring is my distraction."

"What can make you happy again?!" Liam continued, sounding a little irritated. 

"Having Louis back." Harry demanded. 

"Haz, you know we can't do that." Liam sighed, "Even if we could, you weren't allowed to see him, remember?" 

"You must not remember!" Harry yelled, muffled by the blankets, "We were finally allowed to be together. We were finally happy, then he was taken away from me!" 

"Harry, listen..." 

"No you listen...!" Harry roared, sitting back up, "...I can't believe after all we've been through, that you STILL insist on hiding us! Louis and I were finally happy, and you don't even seem to care. You don't care that he's gone! You just want to forget everything we went through...all that we fought for! We stayed strong through everything! Then, a new management team said we no longer had to hide, but no! You three insisted we stay a secret! Even when everyone knew we were gay, you still denied it! They had it so ingrained in your head that you still deny it! Even after he's gone! How can you move on so fast? How did you just forget about him and think that touring would just continue like before? Don't you realize nothing in our lives will ever be the same now that Louis is gone? Don't you understand One Direction is over? Our career. Our life. Everything is over and--"

"Are you saying we should just go back to being nobodies?" Zayn asked, angrily.

"Not exactly," Harry explained, "We will never have "normal" lives ever again. We will never be nobodies again because of One Direction. People know who we are. We could all go solo now our something, but we can't be a group again...at least--" 

"At least what?" Niall asked, knowing there was more. 

"I can't." Harry sighed, realizing this whole thing had turned him into a monster, "I'm sorry...sorry I snapped at you, but I'm hurting, tired and wondering how my life is going to continue without Louis." 

"With us." Zayn comforted. 

"What?" 

"It will continue with us." Liam agreed, "We are here." 

"No, it can't." Harry sighed, "I'm sorry." 

"Are you saying we can't be friends anymore?" Niall asked, about ready to cry. 

"Of course not." Harry assured, "I just can't tour anymore, or sing again. My career is done...at least for right now." 

"Why does it have to be over?" Zayn asked, "I'm sure we can get you through this, together." 

"Don't you understand?" Harry asked, "I can't do anything but focus on Louis right now. If he was still here, we wouldn't be having this conversation. I can't wake up or fall asleep without thinking of him. Every time I breath, eat, blink, walk, read, cry, talk, move, anything. Louis is all I'm thinking about right now. I can't put the fans or you three through that. I love you too much." 

"Okay," Liam sighed, "it seems you need some more time." 

"At least try to give it another thought?" Niall begged. 

"There are fans out there who miss you, Haz." Zayn agreed, "We all need you back." 

Harry rubbed his face with his hands and went back under the blankets. "I'll think about it," he sighed, pulling the covers over his head, "just give me more time." 

The boys agreed and left Harry alone. They didn't realize that it would take him this long to bounce back. They pondered it for a minute, then realized that Harry may never bounce back from this. He truly thought his life was over, and wanted nothing to do with anyone. It seemed that they may have to continue One Direction with just the three of them, if they could figure out how to pull it off. Maybe they should take Harry's advice and each go solo, or maybe change the name of One Direction to "Just Three" or "We're Going This Way Now." Although, standing in the hallway, outside Harry's flat door, staring at the picture of Louis and Harry, which hung from a welcome sign, Liam, Niall and Zayn all started to realize Harry was right. They shouldn't have moved on this fast. They should all still be mourning and missing Louis. 

~*~