He bites on his bottom lip and I know what he's going to say before he says it. "He said he's busy."
Ice is eating away at my body. It's the only two words he'd said, or well, texted to me all week.
I can feel the heat burning on my cheeks and I hate myself for not being able to control it. For not fighting harder to change Vince's mind about the kiss. For being so goddamn selfish and not realizing that a single kiss was not worth losing my best friend . . .
No.
I cannot.
I will not give up without a fight.
Something takes over me, a bravery that I've only ever felt in the ring as Kelly Austin. I know for a fact that Kelly Anderson, the girl that was nervous about her ring gear exposing her midsection, the real me would never do what I'm doing.
The door slams behind me, guys shouting and grumbling under their breaths as I push past them.
Randy is sitting on a bench in his gear, a towel over his shoulders with one hand on each end, a wide smile on his face talking with Adam.
Adam notices me first.
I must look crazy.
I feel crazy, but I can't stop myself from stalking across the room.
His smile drops when he sees me, his shoulders stiffen. "What are yo--"
"Why are you being an ass?"
The room falls silent, so silent that I can hear Randy swallow. "I, I don't know what you're talking about." His blue eyes refuse to meet mine, looking at the room taking in the fact that all eyes are on us.
"I've sent three people in here after you. Why are you ignoring me?"
He stands up, his hands grasping my shoulders, he lowers his head closer to my level and he speaks in a soft, slow voice and suddenly I feel like that seven-year-old little girl he met eighteen years ago. "We can talk about this later. You need to go before you get in trouble."
"No. I wanna talk now." I pull from his grip and plant my butt down where he was sitting. "No more avoiding me, Randy. I will stay here all night if I have to."
I can see the frustration raging in him, his jaw sets firmly but nothing can change my mind. The silence is now whispers between men and for the first time my eyes scan the locker room. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't second-guessing my decision, I will probably never live this down.
Randy throws me over his shoulder in one swift movement and a shriek shoots out of my mouth. Both from surprise and frustration that I can't wiggle out of his iron hold. "Put me down!"
"Fine." He drops me a few feet outside of the locker room. "Stay your ass out here."
I'm rooted to the ground, spinning while standing, dizzy in my blood and in my bones. The entirety of my body aches because deep down I know why. I know why he's avoiding me. I know the words he doesn't want to say.
Don'tcry, I keep saying to myself.
Don't cry.
It feels like a battle I'm going to lose. "Please," The word a lit cigarette lodged in my throat but it manages to make him freeze. "What did I do wrong?"
He doesn't move, doesn't turn around. It doesn't even look like he's breathing.
"Ran--"
He rushes forward, abruptly impassioned, and I struggle to hold my ground. "It's disgusting!"
I blink.
This isn't really happening. It can't be real, it's one of the nightmares that wake me up in a cold sweat.
My legs are unsteady. I'm nodding and I don't know why but I can't seem to stop.
"The thought of us," He stammers, "It's unnatural. It's sick, Kelly. For fuck sakes, I taught you how to tie your shoes!"
The walls are moving, I'm seeing spots, blinking at nothing. "I'll talk to Vince--"
"Don't you get it, it's too late!" He stares at me, chest heaving. "It can't be undone. It won't go away. I stand here and I can't stop it- I can't stop the turning in my stomach."
I swallow the tears, "I get it, you're repulsed by me!"
"What?" Randy is looking at me like he might be going deaf and blind at the same time.
"You're my best friend, I can't lose you, not over something this stupid. I don't care that you don't feel the same way as me . . ." He touches my cheek, so soft like he's not sure if I'm real, like I could disappear in a moment and whatever thought I had is gone.
He moves closer, just an inch.
I'm struggling to get oxygen in my lungs.
And he's kissing me. Deeply, desperately. His hands are around my waist and he's breathing so hard and he hoists me up, into his arms, and my legs wrap around his hips and he's kissing my neck, my throat. His voice is shaking as he speaks, "I want you so much it scares me."
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There is no version of this man that I'm not attracted too. Did you watch Ruthless Aggression about Evolution? The fact that there is a playful/childish Randy it sent my heart soaring. If I were to write this as a whole book that's who Randy would be off-screen.
I hope you like this, I haven't written—scratch that—I haven't finished anything in 5 months so I feel like I'm a little rusty but hopefully this is still acceptable.
