Forever Ruined

Chapter Forty-six

Lord Fitton's gaze narrowed on Clara and she squirmed a little under such scrutiny. "I don't believe that for a second. Clara, you are a woman of action. You are not meant to be cooped up in some stately home, serving tea." His hand waved over the tea set as if to point out how far she has fallen.

Her chin came up and she looked very dignified for a woman dressed as a cabin boy. "I will be wherever my husband needs me to be. I will not be further trouble. I have had my adventure. It is time I go home."

With a heavy sigh, Fitton realized she had already resigned herself to her fate. "I wish so much more for you Clara. So much more."

Clara could feel the prick of tears threatening to sting her eyes, but she would not allow it. Instead, she chose to change the topic. "Sturgis? How is he? Does he know?"

Lord Fitton nodded. "He does. I will be a poor substitute for you, but thank you for coming up with a way that I can remain with him."

"Of course," Clara stated shocked as if there could be any other way. She stood and grabbed a pen and a piece of notebook paper. She jotted down her address to the country manor house. "Please, write to me, Aaron? I wish to know how Sturgis fares.  If he fully heals? You must teach that boy to read and write now that his vision is returning. He wishes to become an officer someday. And I will wish to know how you are doing as well. Promise you'll write. I don't think I could bear it to think we will never speak again."

Lord Fitton took the folded paper from her hand and put it in his breast pocket. "I promise, Clara."

Clara smiled at him. "Thank you."

"So this it? This is really... goodbye?" Lord Fitton asked, finding it hard to believe. He really was a fool to think he could hold on to her and Sturgis forever, but this little taste of family filled a void he never thought he would ever fill in his life and if this is the only moment he would have he would just need to treasure it, for it will need to last him a lifetime.

Clara bit her bottom lip. She was never good with goodbyes. "Can we not say until we see one another again?" Her voice held a pleading note for Lord Fitton to agree.

"I think I manage that," he agreed with a weak smile.

"My door is always open. You may visit anytime that you wish," Clara offered.

"I doubt your husband would feel the same, Clara," Lord Fitton reasoned.

"Why? He has nothing to fear from you," Clara stated.

"A man, especially a man like Benjamin, is very protective of that which he knows belongs to him."

"I am a person, Aaron. Not some precious object. I am allowed friends and acquaintances," Clara argued.

"Even a man who has posed as your husband for a month in a foreign land? I think even Benjamin may have his limits, sweet Clara."

Lord Fitton's reasoning was hard to argue with, still she jutted out her chin in defiance. "You leave him to me. I say you are welcome and therefore you are welcome should you so choose to accept the invitation. I will leave it to you."

"Agreed," Lord Fitton conceded.

They spent the rest of their time going over his books. He showed her his research on what had been discovered and what still needed to be filled in. Clara could tell it was hard for him to turn over his life's work to her.

"I promise to treat these volumes with the utmost care," Clara told him.

"I know that you will Clara and I thank you for continuing my work. The voyage home I imagine will allow you nothing but time to complete them."