21 Brook Street

20 ◇◇ Present ◇◇

Sylvia's Present

Everyday is orgasmic torture. I wake up in his room. I go downstairs to his kitchen. I look out of his window. I dance along to our memories.

Reality and the past blurs.

My love, my life. My past.

Days pass. I miss you like the first day. I miss you like I missed you when you took your lips away from mine that first time.

Isaac tells me it's fucked up, that I have to move out right now. I tell him I don't want to be happy without you. I don't know how long I can make him stay. Maybe he'll kill himself too. He's stuck on me like I'm stuck on you. I still don't see how you've tainted me. You broke me, like you break glow sticks. I'm dead without you. I bet you think because I can't touch another man that I'm broken. That that's your fault. It's no one's but mine. I love you too hard. I let Isaac sleep with me. I cry out in pain every time. Afterwards he gets up and he gets angry. He likes getting angry over me. Just like you.

My love, I hope I don't dishonour your memory.

You're not here.

I need someone.

Isaac doesn't give up.

I can live in a divided state.

You are my past.

He is my present.

I own my future.

I know that now.

So neither you nor Isaac can tell me what to do.

I could move on. You'd like that. Not yet.

I need to make us pay for what we did.

My love, my life.