21 Brook Street

16 ◇◇ Present ◇◇

Present

"I want to kiss you."

 

"Me too."

 

"But I can't" Sylvia said choking on a sob.

 

"Why?" he asked kindly.

 

"I... I... I..."

 

"You don't have to do anything you don't wanna do. There's no pressure."

 

"I know."

 

Isaac passed her a tissue.

 

"You know, you're so pretty."

 

"Thank you."  

 

"Now let's see that beautiful smile of yours."

 

Sylvia rolled her eyes. Typical stupid beliefs that boys can brighten up a girls day just by noticing their existence.  She punched him in the stomach. He grunted.

 

"Just don't. I don't need your acts of chauvenism, alright?"

 

"I'm sorry. I just want you happy that's all."

 

"It's not up to you to decide that."

 

Isaac began a retort then paused. In many aspects that was true.

 

"Well... do you want to be happy?"

 

"I..." Sylvia fixed her eyes on the wall in front of her. She struggled for words.

 

"You don't have to say yes. Just be truthful. I don't always like being happy. Sometimes I just love to get really angry and stay that way, to bury myself in hatred."

 

"Who do you hate?"

 

"Mostly my dad. He's become a bit of a scapegoat. Who do you hate?"

 

"I don't have anyone to hate."

 

"No one? Not even like Bin Laden, or Hitler?"

 

"They're dead. They don't matter any more." Sylvia replied, leaning her head on Isaacs shoulder. She felt disgusted with herself, but she just wanted closeness. She's been alone for so long. Isaac wrapped his arms around her, running them up and down her body slowly.

 

Cognitive dissonance. Contrary beliefs. Contrary desires.

 

She wanted Isaac, but she wanted Thomas too. He was her everything. She missed touching. She missed being held. She missed being human.

She placed her arm on his chest. That much she could do.