Wild and Untamed thing (a RHPS fanfic)

Girl talk

You trudged up the alarmingly creaky staircase and surveyed the hall for the door you were supposed to enter. You soon spied it and made your way down the hallway. You rapped on the thin wooden door,  just as a courtesy, and a high pitched feminine voice called out, 

"Come in! It's open!"

You entered cautiously, and an extraordinary looking girl greeted your eyes. She had pink, short hair that was partly covered with a gold sequined top hat. She donned a push-up sparkle-infested corset, and rainbow striped shorts with a sensual fishnet tight. 

"Well don't just stand there. Come in and meet me, doll!" She ordered in her strange yet mesmerizing voice as she sat up on her chaise.

"Oh uh, sorry! I didn't mean to stare!" You fumbled as you walked to the girl.

"My names Columbia! What's yours?" She cried animatedly.

"Y/N." You answered.

"Nice ta meetcha." Columbia smirked. "So what's your story? Why did ol' Frankie let you stay?" 

"Uh, well it's a long story actually..." you began, sitting down next to her.

"I'm all ears."

"Alright, so basically I was very drunk, or maybe someone rufied my drink, I don't know. I wandered off and ended up passing out on some strange road somewhere. I woke up here, manacled to a table, I was accosted by the doctor, and Riff Raff actually ended up rescuing me..."

"Wait, RIFF RAFF? I really wanna hear this now!"

"Yeah, he took me into his quarters and we uh, devised a plan so I could live. It worked I guess." You left out the part about Riff and you making out. You didn't know why you felt like you could trust this random girl, but she had an aura that made you want to spill your entire life story without any guilt.

"Oh he's in love with you alright." Columbia stated bluntly. "He didn't... uh.. make a move or anything?"

"Well, if I'm being honest, we did kiss a little bit." You added sheepishly.

"AA I KNEW IT! I never thought he would get a girl! Good for him! Good for you!" She cried with delight.

You giggled and bit your lip.

"Ok, so any advice to uh, dating Riff? You seem to know him pretty well." You inquired.  

Columbia became a shade more serious. "He can be very distant sometimes. Deep inside he's scared of having a relationship because he's been hurt by people he's loved in the past. But don't let that worry you. Hell, if he's kissed you already he MUST be infatuated! He likes to slow dance, and he likes secret rendezvous' to secluded parts of the castle. Riff also enjoys experimenting... if you know what I mean." 

"Wait, how do you know all of this?" You asked, genuinely concerned about Columbia dating the butler.

"Well, he used to have this.... let's say she was a girlfriend, a while back. Her name was Magenta. God they were so in love. I watched them from a distance doing all of these little things. I miss that gal so much; she was my best friend." Columbia sighed wistfully.

"Where is she now?" 

"Away."

You decided to be content with this answer, and asked no further questions.

"Thanks for telling me this, Columbia. I guess now I know my potential boyfriend a bit better now." You smiled gratefully.

"Any time, doll. Say, are you bisexual?" 

You were startled at such an oddly invasive question, but decided to answer.

"Uh... yeah. Have been my whole life!"  You awkwardly chuckled.

She batted her lashes and looked you straight in the eye, her piercing blue orbs staring into your soul.

"Good. If you're ever bored of Riff, PLEASE consider me." She begged.

"Oh! Uh," you stuttered, surprised at the offer, and frankly slightly turned on. "Sure thing! I mean if you're ever down for a threesome or something..." you started giggling awkwardly.

"Hell yeah darling. Just come up here when you wanna. I'm always free." She sang as she flung herself onto her chaise.

"Well, Uh, I guess I'd better be going now! It was amazing meeting you Columbia! Thanks for the advice!" You cried as you walked out the door. 

You shut it with a snap, and pressed yourself against the wall parallel, breathing heavily.

"Well this is an interesting place." You muttered as you set off to find Riff Raff.