In the Silence

Chapter 2: The Void

Oh, forgot to mention, if you're really into these kind of Reylo fanfics, go check out Meet me in the Grey by JJBattleX. Even though it is a post-TFA fic, it is soooo good and inspired me a lot.

Anyway, enjoy and let me know what you think!

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Chapter 2: The Void

So enamoured, stutter, stammered, oh my voice was broke.

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He opened his eyes while laying flat on his back "Where am I?" he thought. Around him was nothing but Darkness. He couldn't tell up from down, left from right. Yet somehow there seemed to be some kind of floor, he felt it beneath his hands. As he sat upright, the sentence "What happened?" dwelled through his conscience. He stood up and rubbed his temples.

There. He sensed it. The silence inside his being. Where he once would have begged for such silence, his mind filled with the poison and lies of Supreme Leader Snoke, no..., Darth Sidious, he now dreaded the very same silence with every fibre in his body. For it meant he wasn't able to hear her anymore. That was when everything started to come back to him.

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The only thing he saw was her, laying on the ground inside the Sith temple on Exegol. Her body lifeless. Then, as he had rushed his heavily injured body toward her as fast as he could and pulled her in his arms, he remembered how heartbroken he had felt.
Finally she would be with him. Finally she would take his hand because finally, he had allowed himself to return to the Light and become Ben Solo once more. But she was gone.

He couldn't bear to live on without her. He needed her more than anything, more than oxygen. Tears welled up in his eyes.
That's when he remembered what Rey did on the old remnants of the Second Death Star, when his mother intervered. Rey had healed him, saved him from certain death.

He let her go of their embrace, closed his eyes and placed one of his ridiculously large hands on her stomach, mimicking what she had done to him. He felt his breath slow down as he concentrated on Rey, only Rey, always Rey. He focused on her lifeforce, imagining her strength, the beat of her heart, her hand finally firm in his...

Hours could have passed, but it could have been seconds as well, he wasn't sure. He was in deep meditation and lost all sense of time. That was when he suddenly felt her fingers trail over the back of his hand, and his eyes shot wide open.
Before him lay Rey, her eyes a warm hazel and full of life. She sat up and looked him right in his eyes. He couldn't stop himself from looking at her. 

'Ben' she uttered softly, her smile beamed so bright it could light a thousand systems. Then she carressed his face and leaned into him and claimed his lips with hers. He was as surprised as she was certain. He didn't hold back though, or push her away. He allowed himself this tiny slice of joy, even though he knew he wasn't even remotely worthy of it. Of her.

He felt she was about to break the kiss, but he moved his hand toward the nape of her neck, longing for this moment to last. When their lips finally parted, he smiled. He couldn't remember the last time he smiled. It felt so alien yet so completely familiar, to smile in her presence. With her, he was home.

He did it, he brought Rey back! He was overcome with joy. Now she would finally take his hand and... The smile faded from his face as he felt his muscles shut down.
No. No, no, no, NO!!! If he could've screamed it, he would have.
His vision became blurry and he fell to his back. He felt Reys hand clutching firmly onto his as he closed his eyes forever. On the inside he was screaming. He wasn't ready to leave her.

'Ben..' he heard inside his head. It wasn't Reys voice, he was certain of it. He was too far gone to recognize whom the voice did belong to, and wondered who it could be, as he let out his last breath and vanished from existence. A sense of nothingness and tranquility washed over him.

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Re-experiencing the memory had brought him to his knees, clutching himself in pain that exceeded the physical.
'I had her' he whispered, tears streaming down his face. It wasn't fair. Though he couldn't imagine a monster like him being worthy of her.

Suddenly he heard HER.

'I'm Rey.. Rey Skywalker'

He shot straight up and started running toward the source of her voice. Sensing immense grief radiating from her. He was able to feel her again!! He felt his heart flutter in his chest as he felt their bond thrum to life and he ran, and ran, but didn't see anything. He tried to reach out to her, telling her he was coming for her, but he couldn't. As soon as he tried to, he stumbled upon a mental barrier he didn't see a way around.

He saw a white dot in the distance, and urged himself to run even faster. Air was burning in his lungs. His mind battering against the wall of the bond. As he drew closer he saw the white dot was actually a portal, and inside the portal, Rey stood amidst the sand, her back facing him.

'REY!' he uttered with a thunderous roar, but she didn't seem to hear him. He kept running and screaming her name, nothing. He had almost reached the portal, was ready to reach out.... He crashed into the portal, as if ramming against a closed door. He collapsed into it.

He got up as fast he could as he tried desperately to tap into his Force powers to pry the portal open, nothing. He slammed his full weight into the portal, nothing. He kept hammering onto the portal. Desperate to get to her. 'REY!' he screamed again, even louder this time.

Then he saw Rey jumped up, as if she were startled awake from deep thought. She heard him! She turned around with a ferocious roar, a golden lightsaber ablaze. Ben braced himself to slam into the portal once more, as she cut the portal clean in two and vanished, leaving Ben to fall to his face.

He could catch himself with his hands just in time, as he rolled up into a ball and cried bitter tears. He didn't understand. Rey had rejected him, again. He wished for the nothingness around him to consume him, take him with it into oblivion.

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As he lay there in the Darkness he felt a presence stirring around him. 'I am so proud of you, Ben' the sound of the voice carressed his raw nerves, soothing them to touch. It was the same voice he heard right before he died. And now, he knew who it was.

'Mother...' he whispered.