My Crush Plays Volleyball

The Seventh P.E. Day

"Tinininit! Tinininit! Tinininit!" said my alarm.

"My Gad! It's Wednesday!"

It does seem to be a normal day today. No, I don't think so. I need to talk to her today if I were to continue what I have started. I only made little improvements last week and it must not be like it today. The impossibilities that occurred last week still bugs me. As much as I believe signs of destiny, I didn't know that it was going to be this mainstream. I somehow doubt that these would be signs because it seems so strange. Nevertheless, destiny calls me and what I am going to do must already been planned as it is meant to.

I now leave home for school. I take great observations of my surroundings to find any more signs that would explain what is happening. I found none so far.

I now arrive at school. At the gymnasium, I immediately looked for her but she is nowhere to be found. So I waited. Our instructor came a few minutes later, and we all come to her.

As the usual, we'd gather before the teacher, and I would always take the front spot. Why do I take the front spot? I don't know, it's like the default thing for me to do. Lame right? I should've taken a spot at the back or take a spot later than the class, in case Cess arrives. I'm so dumb.

And she did arrive.

What an ass I really am.

Today seems to be a busy day, I can see it from the instructors. They had prepared a mini event.

"Today class, igu-grupo ko kayo at lalabanan ninyo yung kabilang section. Lahat ng marunong maglaro, tumayo!" ("Today class, I'll group you and you'll have to battle the other section. Those who can play, stand up!")

Those who do play stood up, and that includes her. It seems that she doesn't want to volunteer. Don't worry Cess, I support you! I always will as long as I live, oh I will!

"What she say?", asked our foreigner classmate. It will be my first time conversing with her.

"She said that those who can play volleyball should stand up."

"Oh." she replied.

Now the volunteers were divided into five groups. Then the rest of the class were also divided to those five groups. This was done to balance the playing power. This means that all of us will have to play. You guess which group I was assigned... Nope not in her group, sorry.

No, just kidding. I was assigned to her group. Now that does it. I'm in this now and there's nothing stopping me. I will do what fate wants me to do. You know how possible was that? I'll tell you. Our instructor chose from us randomly, I think it was based on how good we play. There were five group to be assigned, and the possibility number that I have to be assigned in the same group as hers will be based on what processes occurs inside our instructor's mind. Yes, that impossible.

The moment I was chosen, I smiled at her.

I saw her smile too.

But not for me. I don't know why but I haven't given her any reason to be disgusted of me.

I stayed in back of the line, while Cess was on the front. I stayed there until the group assigning was finished and we were tasked to write our names. I go near her, but she didn't notice me. She then go to the other member, a freaking male one, and talked to him about the game, I don't know, maybe about strategies? I don't care, I'm not jealous anyway. Fate got my back, right fate? I'd just put my freaking name here in the freaking yellow paper.

Gladly, only one group will be playing for today. It was not our group that was chosen, so it's a big "whew" for me. Those who weren't busy and haven't completed the practical exams should do it now. I was the first to do mine. I haven't done ball handling, and Cess was watching, so I had to do it good.

Well, I didn't. I was so shy to even look at her because I know I didn't do well. I think she don't like guys like that. Internet says girls wanted guys who were better than them so they had someone to hold on to and to catch on with. They also like those who can match them with what they are good at. That is totally not me, and ... I do not know what to say. It's like I was designed to be not women-friendly.

After my practical, I'd stand beside her, waiting in case she'd say something to me or talk to me in any way. She was talking to the other girl. It's okay, I'll wait.

Our instructor then suddenly asked her to help this other guy to do ball-passing. She happily accepted. It's okay, I'll wait. And while at that, wow, she is really good at this.

After that, she got back to the spot beside me. She was sweating. I need something like a face towel or handkerchief. I held my pocket and it was empty. I looked for anything at my bag nearby but it looks like I forgot to bring both face towel and handkerchief today. My gad! What an awful timing! This would've been so great. Oh, wait. She's leaving. Where is he going?

Look she sat on the dusty floor near the third column from me. It's too far. I have to sit there too since there's a free space. However, I have nothing to say to her, then abort!

Hmm, how can I create a conversation? Come on think. Think! Uh, I can't think of any. Where's the ideas when I need them? Oh wait, maybe I'd ask something about the playing team we are all watching.

Okay let's see. Ball...

"How many times do we hit the ball?" 

No, too dumb.

"How should we hit the ball?" 

No, too vague.

"How many players are there?" 

It's six, can't you see?

"Why do they rotate?" 

You think she invented volleyball?

"What's your course?" 

Too obvious.

"Want to eat with me later?" 

Really?

"What is a libero?"

Hmm, this last one's not too bad. Maybe I'll go with it. I just have to go sit at the spot next to her, now. No, not now, too obvious. What? If I don't go now, someone might take that spot. No one will, everyone are busy watching and have no time to change their spots. Well, yes you have a point. Maybe I'll just wait a few more seconds. Maybe, when there is nothing too worthy too watch like near misses or score streaks. I'll go on the next error.

The game paused! That's great I can go now to sit with her. What was my question again? Oh yeah, the libero thing. I'll go now.

So I did, and as I stood up, some girl from our playing team was substituted. That one then proceeded directly to that vacant spot beside Cess and sat there.

What the freaking hell?! I was like late for about five seconds, and she took my spot? There were so many spots on the whole gymnasium, including the spots were your friends are at. Uhh, unlucky me. My plans with Cess is now ruined. I'll just wait for another opening. Maybe that girl will leave anytime soon.

Another girl, not from this class, came for Cess. It looks like they are friends, close friends. They hugged, and started talking, or gossiping (female talking) maybe. They were somehow, giggling. Maybe they were talking about Cess' crush? No way, fate wouldn't let that happen. I saw her friend took one glance at me. Maybe they're talking about me? No way, too impossible. It's the crush then. I am imagining someone tall, handsome, and he must be a jock. You know, the typical girl fantasy. There's so many like that in this university. But still, there are so many singles.

Not long after, our instructor announced our dismissal. She didn't heard it because she was busy. I immediately took my bag and slowly passes her as I left. I took a little glance at the left, where she was at, as I pass her. She was busy though. I continued walking, without looking at the back. This day was such a failure. I feel so sad for failing. I failed fate. I somehow don't think I can continue this. Being unnoticed is far worse than rejection, because in rejection, she would have somehow noticed you.

I walk out the campus with a face facing the ground, because that's what I deserve. My type would never be wanted by anybody. Why did I even expected anyone to? How dumb of me.

However, I cannot stop.