The Waiting Game

28.

            Naiinis si Reneth kay Blaire dahil sinarili nito ang lahat. Naiinis siya dahil mas pinili nitong umalis no'ng araw na iniwan nito si Xavier. Naiinis siya dahil mas pinili nitong manahimik at magpanggap na masaya.

            Blaire doesn't deserve to experience it all alone, but she's too selfish to let the people around her experience the same pain.

            Gustung-gustong sakalin ni Reneth si Blaire dahil ang damot nito, but she understands Blaire's reasons. She understands that Blaire didn't want anyone else to get hurt and experience the same pain dahil alam nito sa sarili nito kung ga'no iyon kahirap.

            That's how protective Blaire is of the people who are important to her. Mas gugustuhin nitong ito na lang mismo ang masaktan kaysa ang mga taong nakapaligid sa kanya.

            Pero gaya nga ng sabi ni Reneth, no person deserves to experience all that pain alone.

            Nananatiling nakatingin si Exequiel sa pintuan ng kusina. Lahat sila nakatingin lang doon. Halos kalahating oras na rin ang lumipas. Pero sa tagal nilang tahimik at nakatingin lang sa pintuan, lahat sila'y naalerto at mas nag-alala nang marinig nila ang malakas na pagbagsak ng baso sa kitchen table sa loob ng kusina.

            "Exequiel, please, check on her," pakiusap ni Reneth kay Exequiel.

            The past had so much impact on Blaire that it led her into becoming this other person—someone who looks almost as if she's dead inside at wala nang maramdaman, and when she's alone, doon ito sumasabog na para bang hindi na nito kayang itago ang lahat-lahat.

            Everyone thought Blaire's okay, pero nagkamali sila.

            As for Exequiel, he knows Blaire was never really fine. Pa'nong hindi niya malalaman iyon eh kilalang-kilala niya si Blaire Devan?

            Pumasok si Exequiel ng kusina at natigilan siya nang makita ang kasalukuyang estado ni Blaire.

            His heart broke into a thousand pieces again at the sight of the woman he loved and cared for for years, who's always seen smiling and strong, now, sitting on the kitchen looking so miserable and keeps on punching and punching her left chest.

            Parang hirap na hirap din itong huminga.

            However, Exequiel didn't see any tears.

            Agad na lumapit si Exequiel. He didn't care kung umupo man siya sa sahig ng kusina. Mabilis niyang hinapit si Blaire sa kanyang katawan. Hinalikan niya ang ibabaw ng ulo nito at hindi niya napigilang bumuntong-hininga.

            "Cry," utos ni Exequiel.

            Blaire shook her haid and continued punching her chest and controlling her breathing.

            "I hate seeing you like this," bulong ni Exequiel.

            "I'm sorry," dinig ni Exequiel na bulong ni Exequiel. "I'm sorry...Xavier, I'm sorry," bulong nito ulit.

            Hindi nagsalita si Exequiel.

            Pagkatapos ng ilang sandali ay nagsalita si Exequiel. "We'll go away for a while. We'll go away—far from where we are right now, and we will find a way to ease the pain, hmm?" sabi ni Exequiel pero hindi siya sinagot ni Blaire.

            "Devan, please, don't stop yourself from crying," sabi ni Exequiel pero umiling si Blaire sa kanya at patuloy lang sa pag-control ng paghinga nito at pagsuntok sa dibdib nito habang nakahilig ang buong katawan sa katawan niya.