CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE

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"I'm sorry, I didn't get you anything," I say apologetically, feeling Shane tense up next to me.

"That's okay, Skittles," his blue eyes glint dangerously, "you'll just have to owe me." He quips, but I don't think I like the feeling of owing Zac Cornelio something. My stomach tightens.

Once everyone's opened their gifts, except me, I can't prolong it. I glance anxiously at Shane, whose wearing a truly ugly Christmas sweater his grandma sent along as his gift, but his expression is stoic, like he doesn't like idea of the gift anymore than I do.

"Come on, Sarah, open it!" I slowly open the box, to find a pair of dangly earrings, designed to look like little skittle packets. I can't help but laugh.
It's long after midnight when I finally creep into my room, Daniella and Kurt having snuck out after the gifts, and Mia and Sean passed out near the Christmas tree on the floor covered in pillows and blankets we pulled from the linen closet.

"Hey, where do you think you're going?" Shane whispers, wrapping his arms around my waist, effectively pulling me out of the room. I turn to face him, and before I can say anything, he plants his lips self-assuredly on mine.

"Merry Christmas, beautiful." He whispers, and my heart skips a beat or two. I loo up into his eyes, almost surprised to see his dark eyes staring intently into mine.
Why did I think they'd be blue?

"Hey, you guys coming? The movie's starting!" Zac whisper-calls from the boy's room.

"Oh yeah, Zac's still hell bent on watching Nightmare Before Christmas, that's kinda why I came here in the first place." Shane chuckles, and then pulls me into their room.

During the opening credits, Shane falls asleep. Okay, it's bad enough that it's the opening credits, but who can fall asleep during that creepy song?

....everybody scream, everybody scream,
in our town or Halloween
I am the clown with the tear-away face,
here in a flash and gone without a trace...

"Looks like he's out for the count." Zac comments, but I shush him, my eyes fixed on the screen.

"I really want to say that I don't get what you see in him, but I mean, it's hard not to see. He's not that other guy, the leprechaun. He's head over heels in love with you." He whispers softly after a while. I turn to look at Zac, curling my legs up towards my body, leaning against the headboard of the bed. In the dark bedroom, I can just make out his messy blond hair.

"I think-I think I could, would love him, if it weren't for.."

"For what?" Zac asks, his eyes boring into mine, as if reading my very soul. I flush and turn away, loosing my nerve.

"Nothing. It's nothing." I mumble. He lets out a frustrated sigh.

"Sarah, that day that Sabrina beat you up, I broke up with her."

"You did? Or are you just saying that like you did in August?" I narrow my eyes suspiciously.

"I did, that's why she lost it," he starts, and I mutter "Parents divorce my ass." under my breath. I knew she had an ulterior motive. "Then Shane showed up," he continues, "and after that she guilted me into taking her back. What she did to you-no-what's she's done to you, it's disgusting Sarah, it's inhumane. I don't think anybody should ever hate a person, but trust me, I'm pretty close to hating that girl."

Tears start to form. Why is he telling me this? Does this mean that if Shane hadn't shown up out of the blue, Zac and I would have had a chance? I shove that thought down.

"I've spent nearly half of senior year convincing myself that you're no good for me, that you're playing me, that I'm just some challenge to you." I don't know why I'm saying this. He flinches at my words.

"Sarah, I can't say that I love you, but, if there was one person on this earth that I would want to grow close enough to, to learn to love, it would be you." The Oogie-Boogie song plays on in the background, contrasting greatly to our conversation. My heart nearly stops. Zac's looking away now, unable to meet my gaze. "You're right, Sarah. I am no good for you, but not for the reasons you think. I'm not playing with you or chasing after a challenge. I'm a self-centered coward, I cared too much about my image to go after what I really wanted. And now I've lost her. To a guy that makes her happy, who makes her smile, and her eyes light up like that castle tonight. Shane's a good guy Sarah. You deserve him, and more importantly, he deserves you." Zac sounds so broken, so...lost. Like he doesn't know himself anymore. My heart squeezes in my chest, urging me to comfort him, but before I can reach out and touch him, Shane rolls over in his sleep and throws his arm around my now outstretched legs. I slide down and curl up next to him, watching the remainder of the movie with Zac's back to me.

When I wake up Christmas morning, I'm snuggled up between Shane and Zac, both of them snoring, with their arms wrapped around me.

I'm in so much trouble.

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