Illusions

↳ Truly Trinity

In which Trinity, a second-generation Chinese American, struggles to rediscover herself while chasing her dreams to dance at Juilliard. 

[500 word flash fiction for the #KatyKeene contest]

featured in flashfic's "Home Stretch!" anthology!

As rain crashes down, Trinity tugs the hood of her black raincoat lower, exiting the creaky bus without a second thought. Hurrying past glaring lights and various shops, she collides with passersby on the street, muttering a quick apology to the cursing strangers. Countless arguments with her parents are fresh in her mind, yet the flashing digits on her phone keep her moving.

"What is this?" Mom screams, holding up my application to Juilliard, a piece of paper I spent my entire life working towards. "What have you not told us?"

"Is this the reason why you didn't get into any prestigious law schools?" Dad's brown eyes are flooded with betrayal.

"Of course not!"

"Do you think we wanted to spend years serving in a filthy restaurant? Barely scraping together enough money to pay the bills?" Dad controls his frightening quiet voice. "We did it for you to have a better life, a better future, than us." Because the cost of immigrating destroyed their funds and opportunities. Because America refused to acknowledge their degrees from Tsinghua University, the most distinguished college in China, and ignored their applications for full citizenship, year after year.

Mom can't meet my eyes and looks away. "Dancing will give you no money, no job. You'll throw everything away."

The sacrifices of two lives weigh down on Trinity's shoulders, hunching her back and slowing her strides as she spots Juilliard's campus, the coveted stage notorious for its low acceptance rate. With a shaking hand, she cautiously opens the door, heading towards the audition that influences the rest of her life. She gapes at the sheer amount of people standing, all waiting for their three minutes to shine.

Suddenly, sparks of doubt enter her mind and a chill goes down her spine as she surveys the chamber, wondering how she can compete with all the extraordinary talent. After all, these students practiced with private choreographers day and night, perfecting their technique, but she has only attended the occasional lesson, dancing around her parents' rules and sneaking out every Friday evening to learn pointe in an empty studio. In the midst of her whirling thoughts, a sharp woman dressed in an immaculate suit approaches Trinity. "Are you here for the auditions of Juilliard Dance?"

Abruptly turning around, Trinity makes eye contact with her and falters, no sound passing through her lips. She's been preparing for this moment, yet a part of her chides her for disobeying her parents' wishes, for being the disappointment.

A slight smile appears on the woman's face. "Think about who you want to be."

Who does Trinity want to be? Does she want to be the flawless Asian daughter but stuck in a position she loathes, poring over documents and textbooks? Or, does she want to embrace her heart's desires, the opportunities she's been chasing after for a lifetime, what makes her truly Trinity?

Squaring her shoulders and straightening her back, she looks the woman in the eye. "Yes, I am."