Must Love Hyenas

30: Key to the City

Harley strolled calmly past the goons who were staring at her in amazement. She felt certain most of them hadn't expected her to walk out alive, let alone victorious. Harley paid them no attention and went straight to Joker, giving him a big kiss in front of everyone.

"Let's go home," she suggested when the kiss ended.

"Clean the place out of anything useful," Joker ordered his men without taking his eyes off Harley. "Meet back at the museum when you're finished. Watch out for crazies."

Joker and Harley chuckled together as they headed back to the van arm in arm.

***

While Joker plopped down in the chair behind his desk, Harley had to be more careful when she took her own seat. Even with her caution, the bruises still complained.

"Bane is out of the way," Joker mused, leaning back in his chair and staring at the ceiling. "Penguin and Scarecrow are done for. Two-Face was removed for us. The other crime families have been run out or beaten into submission. And, if all that wasn't enough, we've also taken over legitimate businesses too."

"I'm tired just listening to the list," Harley quipped.

"We've been busy, but it isn't enough," Joker lamented.

"The whole city is practically in our pocket," Harley pointed out.

"Practically," Joker emphasized. "Elected officials can be a very unreliable lot, even when they're bought. We need some leverage, something we can use to push them where we want them to go."

"We own most of the businesses," Harley reminded. "Threatening to make everyone in the city unemployed could force voters to do our bidding."

"Only during the election," Joker countered. "It's the time between elections I'm concerned about. If they know we can knock them out of office anytime we want, they'll do what they can against us before the next election happens in order to thwart any plans we might make."

"What about the Penguin's files?" Harley asked. "If he knew the dirt on everything going down in Gotham, I'm certain corrupt politicians would be in his files."

Joker's smile widened.

"Brilliant idea!" he shouted, jumping to his feet and throwing his hands in the air. Joker rushed from the room and returned ten minutes later with a pile of papers.

"Whatcha got, Puddin'?" Harley inquired.

"It's the golden key to the city," Joker snickered.

***

"Joker and Miss Quinn to see Mayor Hill," Joker announced.

The secretary's eyes went wide as they flicked up from her computer and saw the two people standing by her desk.

"D-do you have an appointment?" the woman managed to ask. Her trembling hands tried to adjust her glasses, but her unsteadiness nearly knocked them off instead.

Harley held up a revolver with an abnormally large barrel. Wedged tightly into the barrel was a giant cork. She waved the weapon playfully. "What do you think?"

"G-go right in," the secretary said as soon as her lips would allow her to form the words.

Harley smile pleasantly and took Joker's arm as they strode purposefully into the Mayor's office.

Mayor Hill adjusted his tie and swallowed with difficulty. With his wireframe glasses and equally thin moustache, Harley thought he looked more like a corporate weasel than an elected official, but she didn't say so openly.

"Mayor!" Joker proclaimed as if the two of them were brothers who hadn't seen each other in years. "It's so good to meet you. I didn't get a chance to vote for you in the last election, being stuck in a madhouse and all. Harley and I are here to talk about our plans for the city and how you can be a part of them."

"I want nothing to do with your criminal behavior," Hill managed with a respectable amount of conviction in his voice, but his lack of confidence was betrayed by the perspiration glistening on his forehead.

"Of course you don't," Joker agreed. "Not to worry, we own the legal stuff of Gotham too."

Joker dropped into the chair opposite the Mayor and put his feet on the desk.

"Here's the thing, Mayor," Joker began. "Harley and I have control of nearly all crime in Gotham. What we don't, the Batman will take care of. As we shift our efforts to legal avenues of revenue production, the crime rate will drop, and you'll get the credit for helping Gotham improve."

Joker took the papers recovered from Penguin's files out of his pocket and slid them across the desk.

"These detail your involvement with numerous crime families," Joker explained. "You were paid to look the other way so often, I'm surprised you could even open your eyes at all."

"Are you blackmailing me?" Hill demanded.

"You're quick," Harley commented, her words dripping with sarcasm.

"Shut up!" Hill snapped.

Joker lunged out of his chair, grabbed Mayor Hill by his tie and pulled down until Hill's face smashed into the desk. A gleaming knife stabbed into the desk less than two inches in front of Hill's eye.

"Don't talk to Harley that way," Joker snarled.  His rage subsided as his grin returned. "It's rude."

Joker and Harley shared a laugh.

"I'm sorry," Hill quickly apologized.

Joker let the politician go, but left the knife in the top of the desk as a less than subtle reminder of who was in charge and what would happen if the Mayor forgot it.

"Now then," Joker went on, straightening the cuffs of his purple suit jacket. "All we want from you is to keep looking the other way, but only for us. We'll take care of anyone who gives you trouble, and you make sure any trouble you cause is for someone other than me and mine."

"You'll be remembered as the Mayor who saved Gotham," Harley added. "No one needs to know our control of the streets is what did it. You'll get all the glory for your reelection campaign, and we won't have state or federal officials sticking their nose in our business."

The Mayor nodded thoughtfully as he realized he was being used as a shield to allow Joker and his people to operate without outside interference, but there was very little he could do about it.

Joker nodded toward the twin doors behind the Mayor. Harley got up and followed Joker as the two of them strode past the Mayor and out on the balcony overlooking Gotham. Covered in near perpetual clouds, the city was dark even during the day, lights in buildings gleaming like stars in the void. Because Joker's forces were in control of almost everything, for the first time in years, no police sirens were heard. The night was still and quiet, unnatural for Gotham.

"Being the unofficial King of Gotham has a nice ring to it," Joker told her as he surveyed his domain. "But what is a King without a Queen?"

He offered her his hand, and she smiled before taking it firmly. Joker drew her close and kissed her, which she enthusiastically returned. Gotham belonged to them, and they belonged to each other, the founders of a new royal family.

Harley smiled, leaning against Joker with her arms around him as she looked over the city, their city. Her plan had worked out better than she could've hoped.