It's the day after Valentine's.
After scrolling through different kind of social medias, facebook, twitter, instagram...
I never felt so sad, so lonely, so stressed, so anxious, so jealous, and so insecure 'till tonight.
Para na akong mababaliw sa aking silid. Wala akong magawa, wala akong makausap, just this piece of writing app ang mapagsasabihan ko.
My brain keeps thinking this random thoughts and my heart keeps reacting sadly.
My boyfriend ignores me, my texts, my chats, everything. I guess he got sick of me. I got sick of hoping and expecting too much from him too. He seems to have fun without me anyway. Well, that's good for him.
It was Valentines Day yesterday yet he did nothing, I wasn't expecting so much from him since I am not a materialistic kind of girl. Just his presence, his attention, his simple ILYSM, IMY, Happy Hearts Day would make me sooo HAPPY but NO! he did nothing even when I was right in front of him. And anyway, It's our monthsary tomorrow. Will I still even hope that he'll message me? i guess NAH.
My ex-boyfriend seems to have a great girlfriend. It looks like he has been treating her well, unlike when we we're still together he flirted with girls which made me so self-conscious that I had to be so stupid for chasing him.
My Closest friends, They are so busy with their own lives. We used to have each others back's. We used to listen to one's troubles and heartaches. We used to do all things together, no matter how crazy it is. Just for us to be together and have fun, but I guess it's true that their are friendships that may cease to exist.
My best friend is now my friend ever since he had his girl and since I had my boy. I missed how we used to be together have fun, laugh a lot, tell jokes and just be close. I respect his girl and I respect my boy, so we had to build a wall between us to keep our distance. It's not a problem, but of course I sure miss him. He was like my dream Kuya, an Oppa, or my Elder brother. He was the one who motivates me and lifts up my spirit, but I can't even reach him now.
Someone Unexpected just interacted with me and told me he liked me. I knew him for a long time and were even friends.
When he confessed, I was flattered and all but it made me think of the time when my Boyfriend and I first talked those times were so great, the thought of it made me sick considering the fact that he's totally ignoring me.
So ayun nga, yun na yon.
It's so sad to cope up, to adjust with whatever is happening.
Sometimes I feel so happy yet there's this pain in my chest, it aches and it feels so empty.
I'm fighting the urge to cry because I would look stupid if my father sees me. I've got no excuse to say.
It's late at night pero wala akong magawa. I guess I'll just wait until I'll fall asleep.
