Discovering Alice

Chapter 18

“Hey, Iris.” Brad smiles at me, his blue workout shirt that’s lined with light perspiration makes his blue eyes stand out. He’s dressed to be running, with his iPod secured to his arm.

“Brad, what are you doing here?” I look around the lawn, as if Cory would pop out and claim that he knew about our kiss. I was paranoid and feeling guilty, to say the least. “Come inside, its cold.”

He holds a grin on his face as he steps through the door, and Alice comes out of the kitchen. She runs over to him and he picks her up, once Alice is secured on his hip, she picks up a headphone dangling on his chest. The look on her face is priceless as she settles the tiny ear bud in her ear.

“What are you doing here?” I ask him, I cross my arms over my chest; hoping that would stop me from wanting to hug him and possibly kiss him. How could I think this way? I had a boyfriend, even if he didn’t act like it sometimes.

He looks over to me. “I wanted to see you, and the only way I could without seeming suspicious is to tell Cory I’m going on a run.” Brad shrugs and walks closer to me, Alice still wrapped in his arms. If anyone saw them in public next to each other, they would instantly know that Alice is Brad’s daughter.

“I don’t feel right. Things are tough and weird with Cory right now but that doesn’t mean I should be off kissing his brother. I’m so paranoid and worried that he’ll find out and he’s such a good boyfriend and what if he ends up hating me? I can’t handle that, he’s a great person in my life.” I pause to take a breath and Brad starts chuckling a little bit. “What’s so funny?”

“You,” he says as he walks closer to me. “You worry too much, don’t sweat it. That was a moment of weakness. I do like you, but I realize that you are in a relationship with Cory and I shouldn’t have put you in this position. If you want him to know, then I’ll tell him I kissed you.”

I didn’t know what to say, I was almost speechless. “But . . . I kissed you too. And I liked it.” I didn’t even notice what I said until I saw Brad’s grin get bigger.

“He doesn’t have to know that. It would probably hurt his ego.” With that, he switches his attention to Alice. She still has the ear bud dangling out her ear. “What are you listening to?” he mumbles as he puts the other ear bud in. I thought about it for a moment, did I really want Brad to take fault for it? I would probably feel even guiltier because it was 100% truth, and if he knew in the first place, shouldn’t it be the truth?

“I don’t know.” I tell him, repeating it over and over. It was like I was hoping I would know what to do the more I said it which didn’t work like I wanted it to. Running my hands through my long blonde hair just stressed me out even more. “What do I tell him? Oh, god.” I mumble.

Brad puts Alice down and whispers something to her, she runs off before he walks over to me. He wraps his arms around me. “It’s going to be okay. You’re freaking out over nothing, I promise. What do you want me to do?”

“Have you stopped smoking?” I sniff him, which sounds creepier than it actually is. He smells lightly of cologne, mixed with sweat, but I don’t smell the usual odor of cigarette smoke on him.

He smiles. “I quit after you let me see Alice for the first time, it was a dirty habit and brings back unhappy memories.” I smile back at him, proud that he did. I don’t know if I could stand it if he still smoked.

“Thank you.” I mumble, not sure if friends thank each other for quitting a bad habit. I assume not, but I could care less. Were we friends? We couldn’t be more, obviously, since I was still dating Cory. “What if I break up with him?” I didn’t even need to say a name, obviously.

Brad looks thoughtful, his eyes trained on a random spot on the carpet. Alice was in her room, probably playing with something. “I don’t know. I want to be with you, but I realize if you need a break.”

Did I want to be with Brad? It was so weird, thinking of dating someone when we started off definitely on the wrong foot. But that was the effects of a not so sober night, for both of us. I could forgive, but I could obviously not forget. I could see myself with him every day, and it would be good for Alice. But how would mom feel about it? I think even further, I think she would be okay with it just because it’s my decision and she supports it and whatever else moms are supposed to do.

“I do want to be with you.” I realize that I mean it, all of it. Looking down at my hands, I realized I would be a little sad not to see Cory’s fingers laced between mine. No cute little notes during boring history. But it would be okay, because Brad wouldn’t act weird like Cory had. I can’t blame him for that, because his response was totally normal.

Brad smiles, grabbing my hand between his and I realize this is probably the best decision I’ve made since keeping Alice, even though I couldn’t remember that decision so clearly.