Discovering Alice

Chapter 11

When I exit the bathroom after wiping my tears with my sleeve, Cory and Brad are sitting on the couch talking. The noise of my shoulder bumping the wall makes them both look over at me, I stare at Cory and smile. I sneak a quick glance to Brad and shiver, does he remember? My head was pounding, I need Advil.

“Hey babe.” Cory says to me, he has the happiest look on his face as I find a seat next to him. When I glance at my hands, I find them shaking. I tuck them around Cory’s bicep and lean into him; finding him pleasantly warm.

“Hey.” I mumble, Brad is looking at me intently when I look up from the coffee table. I sensed an awkwardness now that I entered the room.

“So,” Brad starts, clearing his throat obnoxiously loud. “I hear you guys have been dating for a few months.”

“Since October.” I smile weakly at him. My whole body is thudding, like I’m just a big heart that’s racing. My eyes hurt, suddenly they are so sensitive I wince in pain. I open my eyes and close them again, hoping to get rid of the feeling. Brad and Cory carry on a conversation.

“Do you want some coffee?” Brad suddenly asks Cory, I wasn’t following the conversation but I could tell that it was a random subject change.

“Sure. Iris why don’t you go help him?” Cory suggests, he looks over at me and smiles. I know he just wants me to get to know his brother more. But he has no idea that he’s also asking me to get closer to my rapist. I fight off a look of disgust on my face.  I know it was probably too early to tell, but it was one of those things that you just know.

“Of course.” I detach myself from Cory and follow Brad to the kitchen. I stare at his shoes, they were Vans and they were a boring and worn black color.

I watch as he starts making the coffee, not asking me to do anything. Why does he want me here if he can make it himself? It’s on the tip of my tongue to tell him I’m going back into the living room, next to Cory.

“You look a little familiar. Have you lived around here before?” Brad looks up, his cool eyes assessing my reaction. Doesn’t he know? Or is he just messing with my mind? I decide to give him an honest answer. Well, at least half honest.

“I’ve never been to New York before.” I hesitate, and grimace as I give him a little more to jog his memory. “Maybe you’ve seen me one night somewhere, I kind of recognize you too.” Before he can tell me that he does remember me, I back out of the room. Cory is sitting on the couch with a photo in his hands. He has a small smile on his face and I almost hesitate, not wanting to break the mood. I wrap my arms around him from behind and glance at the photo that’s in the white, simple frame. It’s a picture of Cory, Brad, and their parents. They are all lined up in front of some water park that is spelled out in weird letters. It was probably in Russia, but they all looked happy. Their parents were in a half hug and the brothers were smiling goofily at the camera, showing them a few years younger.

My eyes went over everybody’s expression. Amanda and Steve, Cory’s parents, had smiles on their faces. Cory was smiling but his attention was a little to the left of the camera, and Brad’s expression was smiling and he was looking fully ahead at the camera. His eyes, the cool pretty blue of the ocean were staring right back at me. I flinch, looking away. I wondered if I should say something, but I couldn’t think of the right thing.

“I miss how things used to be.” He started. My heart hurt for a second, recognizing the pain he must feel. I didn’t have to grow up worrying that my parents were going too spilt any day, because they already took care of that before I was born. I couldn’t find it in myself to tell Cory that I could relate when I really couldn’t, so I didn’t bother. Instead I just stood there for another second, with my arms around him. I think he was enjoying it, comforted at least in the slightest way. But the moment was ruined when Brad came bustling back into the room with three cups of coffee. Not wanting to seem rude, I walk up to Brad and grab Cory’s and mine before handing Cory his.