Tides of Fate | ᴍᴀʀᴀᴜᴅᴇʀs ᴇʀᴀ

09 | Gryffindor Chivalry

James's eyes flashed dangerously as his grip tightened like a noose. "Clearly."

Carina looked at him in shock before scoffing in his face. She jerked out of his hold, stalking away from the bank of the lake.

"Shit," he muttered lowly. "Carina. Wait! I'm sorry," he scrambled after her, catching hold of her arm once again.

While Carina prided herself on being levelheaded and calm, something in her just snapped when she felt him grab her again.

"No!" She turned around, using her momentum to shove James away, hard.

He looked at her in shock, never in a million years expecting her to truly strike him. She stared at him, her breaths coming hard now, cursing herself for the frustrated tears that gathered in her eyes. She walked up to him again, pushing against his chest, feeling the urge to knock him off his high horse. He was all hard planes under her palms, and despite her efforts, she only managed to make him shuffle back in imbalance.

"Carina," he pleaded, trying to catch hold of her arms calmingly.

The words landed on hollow ears, and she kept pushing at him.

"How dare you," she accused. "I've done everything for you lot. Whenever you needed, whatever you needed. And the one time I do something you don't like, it's like I killed your familiar!"

James felt the guilt overcome him as he let her land a few of her blows. He deserved it.

"Well, you know what? Go ahead!" She yelled, completely beyond rationality now. "Go ahead- be with Lily. That's all you wanted from me this entire time anyway! We leave here in a few months; you won't ever have to see me again!"

What? Never see her again? Realization dawned on the young wizard of how deeply he'd hurt her. Never see her again? Not on his watch- not even over his dead bloody body.

"Carina," he tried to calm her, braving through her violent blows to wrap his arms around her like a python, securing her arms down to her sides so she could no longer hit him.

But that didn't stop her. She flailed her legs, using one of them to kick him in the shin as she fought against his hold. "You let me go right now, James Potter!" Her voice broke, the tears winning their war with her anger.

James hoisted her off the ground- which wasn't at all hard, given his towering height over her small frame. Her feet dangled helplessly a few inches off the ground, her arms pinned by her sides. While he couldn't see her face, he could feel her fuming. He felt his heart crumble as he felt her start to shake, small, restrained sobs escaping her.

"Shhh... I'm so sorry," He murmured, lowering his head to rest on the crown of her head.

His tenderness seemed to demolish some sort of invisible damn because she broke down into shuddering sobs. He walked them back to the secluded cover of the lakeside willow, sitting down on the grass as he arranged Carina between his legs.

"It's okay," he whispered softly, brushing his arms over her arms reassuringly. "I'm not going anywhere."

He held her as she collected herself, piece by piece. His head rested casually on her shoulder, making it less awkward for her to be leaning back against him.

"Sorry," she hiccupped, mortified by her outburst.

"Not at all," James said, too lazy to move his head from its comfortable perch. "I'm the one who's sorry. I have no right to judge you- I never did. And even if I did, your past with Malfoy or whoever else is not something that changes who you are."

Carina tensed, remaining silent. James subconsciously kept trailing his hands over her arms in comfort, helping put her at ease again. Somewhere in the deep recesses of his mind, he realized this position was more intimate that he'd ever offer to another friend. His conversation with the Marauders came ringing back to him, but he pushed it aside carelessly. This was Carina. She's not just an ordinary friend.

"I know who you are, Carina," he murmured in her ear. "I see you."

His low timbre eased a deep knot of anxiety in Carina, and she felt her eyes close in content as she savored the steadiness of him at her back and the warmth of his arms circling her loosely.

"And I'm so sorry I let you forget that again." James pleaded. "You are family. To all of us. None of this disappearing after graduation nonsense. Do you know how much of a mess we'd be without you?"

Carina laughed softly.

"Really!" He insisted. "Remus would be all moody and angry around the full moons without your chocolate and cheering up. Peter would be mad at us for the rest of eternity for scaring you away. And Merlin knows Sirius would get into some deep dragon dung within a month without you to ask for advice."

She smiled, staring out at the lake, shrugging lightly.

"Me too, you know. Every time something good or exciting would happen, I would feel this hollow aching because I wouldn't be able to share it with you." He said softly, affectionately bumping his head against hers.

Carina smiled, feeling her heart fill again. So quickly she'd gone from fearing she'd end up entirely alone in the world after Hogwarts to feeling so wholly supported.

"And I'm still taking you to the ball," James insisted stubbornly.

Carina stiffened, the reminder of Lily bringing her hurtling back to earth.

"James, you should really ask Lily. I'm almost positive she'd say yes. It's what you want anyway," Carina said, attempting to shuffle away to put some space between them. As good as it felt, it was far too intimate to brush under the rug. They were alone- they had no one to put on a show for.

But James tightened his arms around her. He sighed, surprised he didn't quite care whether Lily would say yes to going with him. How could he? He'd been so close to losing Carina all together and driving her out of all their lives for good. How in the world could he care about going to the ball with someone who'd been so dismissive of his feelings for years in the face of that?

"I don't want to go with Lily," he said honestly.

"What?" Carina froze.

"This is our last ball," James said contemplatively. "Even if Lily thinks she finally returns my feelings, who knows if she truly does. I want to go to the ball with you and spend time with the friends I know I'll be keeping in my life well into the future. I don't even know whether Lily and I would keep in touch."

Carina could hardly believe what she was hearing. If someone told her James would turn down the chance to take Lily to the ball a month ago, she would've laughed in their face.

"Besides," James said lightly, breaking out of his serious tone. "If she hasn't had the courage to tell me her feelings herself and fight for me, then they're hardly strong enough to be worth ditching my best friend for."

Carina laughed, and she found she had to agree. "Good for you," she told him. "You deserve someone who'll fight for you."

James nodded against her shoulder, burrowing a little closer to her neck as he did so. "I do," he agreed, hyperaware of the witch in his arms.

Lily had always been a regal beauty- almost fairy-like and otherworldly with her willowy and tall figure and fiery red hair. She came up to his chin, matching his height quite evenly even though he was a rather tall man. He'd always found that so attractive. Yet his mind wandered back to Carina, the rather petite witch with the expressiveness of a druid- caring and nurturing and truly, genuinely good. Her crystal blue eyes and dark hair were a subtle allure, different from the striking impression Lily left. Yet as he told himself Lily was still the love of his life, he couldn't help but think how Carina fit so perfectly against him. He'd always thought he'd fear crushing her, but as tiny as she was, she was one of the strongest witches he knew.