Love Me If You Can

Chapter 13

"Did she say anything else?" I asked following her into the living room.

"No, she didn't even read my message. I did tell her that if she wanted you leave she needed to tell you herself. You may won't to take a break and try again in the next hour or so, if you're goal is to get her out." Amor said picking up her purse and keys. "I don't if you know but today is her original due date and sometimes it can be hard on her. She just has this thing about being by herself. Um you can stay if you want. The remote is over there. There are waters and Powerade's in the fridge. I'm be back around 7ish." Amor said before walking out of the apartment.

I sat down on the sofa. Grief is weird. One minute you're alright or think you're alright and the next you're anything but alright. I wanted to be able to stop and let my sadness take over me, but I did that once and Jada took advantage of me. Ever since then I felt like I couldn't grieve in peace. A nigga really just charge shit to the game and move on. If I'm being honest, I really didn't want De to know that shit. I didn't want her to look at me as being less than a man or weak. Only reason I told Keeb was so I can save our friendship. That nigga really was like my left hand. I don't even know where shit went wrong. I sat there on sofa thinking about my life and how things have changed in the span of three years. I lost my daughter, my girl, and my best friend. Shit wasn't supposed to be like this. Then I think about the things I've gained. I got my dream job, I'm networking with people everything, and I'm on my way to be a millionaire probably in the next five years or so. I'm glad that meet my goals career wise but damn that's the only thing in life I have to look forward to. That's why I drown myself in my work. A nigga be feeling lonely.

Deciding to get out of my thoughts. I grabbed the remote and turned on the tv. An hour went by and a door opened. I turned to look behind me and my eyes meet Delondon's. She froze in her tracks. Her eyes were red and swollen. Her natural hair was in a bun on top of her head. She had sweats and a white tee on, and a pair of black socks were on her feet.

"I didn't know anyone was in here" she said. Her voice croaked. Her throat sounded like maybe it was dry. She looked tired. Her face held no emotions. She didn't move she just looked at me.

"I wanted to make sure you were alright" I said not bothering to turn my eyes back to the tv. She began walking into the kitchen.

"I'm fine. Did they call you?" she asked opening the fridge.

"No I was already coming over here anyway" I said. She got a Powerade out of the fridge. The expression on her face didn't change a bit. I see why everybody was so worried.

"You can leave" she said simply before she began to walk back to her room. I jumped up and lightly grabbed her wrist.

"Or you can come talk to me" I said looking at her. She looked at me, her eyes travelled to my hand on her wrist and back up to my eyes. I thought for a minute she was going to curse me out, but she busted into tears. I immediately grabbed and her brought her in for a hug.

"I just can't do this anymore" she said in-between breaths and she cried. I wrapped both of my arms around her and just rubbed her back. We stayed like that for 20 minutes without moving. I just let her cry. She started to slowly pull away.

"You want to talk a out it" I asked. She shook her head no.

"I'm really not in the mood to hear it's going to be ok" she said. Her eyes were redder and puffier than before.

I nodded my head in understanding. I felt exactly what she was coming from. "I understand" I said. She looked at me with new tears filling the brims of her eyes.

"Do you?" she asked. I was confused by her question. "I'm genuinely asking because I don't know if her death affected you like it did me. I truly don't know how you feel. I mean we talked about it a little Jamaica, but I don't know if we have the same feeling about and I don't know if I should know how you feel. Like does that make me a bad person to not know how it affected you?" she questioned. The tears were now falling down her face. My heart broke seeing her this way. I wasn't there for her when it first happened, but I can be there for her now. I took her wrist and lead her to the couch, and we sat down.